To be nervous about Dh going away for week for work?

[runlikeagirl]

Goes today (Sunday) until Friday night. He's been for two nights before, but he only came back on Friday from being away two nights.

I work Mon-weds so have to get 5yr old and 2yr old ready and to childcare and school. 2yr old refuses to get dressed, usually takes me and Dh together to wrestle her. And then the bedtime hell alone.

I know I'm being daft, people do this all the time.

Ah you'll be fine, honestly. DH works away Mon to Fri every week and I just make sure that I'm REALLY organised and don't take any crap from the DCs in the morning when its time to get ready. It's a bit like a military exercise!

No, you're not. You won't know how it goes until you do it. You just have to launch in and use every trick in your arsenal for some breathing space. It will go fast as well.

I've had a nightmare day, thought I'd ask small boys for a play, I want to rip my ears off. DS1 has been a little fit and I've sent him to bed with no dinner. DH has been away a week and is away a week more. .

Tips: get clothes ready the night before. Don't bother arguing with the little just wrestle them or turn it into a game, let's see how fast you can dress, and see if you can beat DC1.

Bedtime, skip baths if you have to. I shove mine in the shower in the morning which also wakes them up. We put music on in morning, it lightens the mood. Cuddle them up and read a story. Do what ever you need to keep them in bed. Ours sleep in the same bed together. Sometimes we have to sit on the floor till they sleep. While DH is away the sleep with me, only as the master is downstairs. Just do what works

I have to go see my annoyed son calling out, mama, mama, mama!

Put 2 year old to bed in clean leggings and top which she can wear to nursery. Then you won't need to dress her.

Not unreasonable. Yes people do it all the time but that doesn't make it easy.

Throw whatever you can at it, don't try to be a hero. Skip baths, feed DC early and have a readymeal yourself later, feed them more fishfingers and chips than normal.

Last time I was at the end of my tether by Weds. Took them to McD's. It was somehow a big adventure for them, and it worked a treat. Our local council sports centre also serves reasonably healthy children's food at 5pm, and doesn't expect adults to eat with DC.

Not unreasonable at all! It is hard when you aren't used to it for you but also for the dc. I think, as other posters have said, try to get as organised as possible beforehand. My DH spends a lot of time working away and whilst it isn't great, it is rarely as bad as I anticipate.

Not sure if this is helpful or not but here are some of the things I do to try and preserve my sanity when DH is away. I get all the clothes ready the night before for all if us (me included). You could even sort the clothes out for the week today if you are feeling really prepared! I get bags packed, coats, shoes ready each evening before I go to bed too. Messy breakfasts, like weetabix, are avoided so face washing/kitchen cleaning isn't too much of an issue. Over the course of the day, I get bits ready for bedtime every time I pop upstairs so when I take the dc up I don't have lots of sorting to do, e.g. Draw curtains on one trip up, set gro clock next, choose stories, locate pjs etc. It sounds a bit over prepared but it works for me!

Also make sure you cut yourself some slack. Stock up on wine for yourself and if the children watch a bit more telly, eat less healthily and you resort to bribing the two year old with chocolate buttons before 7 am it is all fine! Good luck!

Send 2 year old to childcare ith her clothes in a bag.

I quite like it when my dh is away i live off soup and crackers and watch whatever i like in the tv and potter. Do ththings at my own pace and way ( why not get dc in jammies when you get home from school for example!)

My house is less stressful when DP is away

He's not moving from room to room making it a mess!

Food wise - can you cook a curry and lasagne / bollanaise today and then that's a few dinners already sorted for this week?

I'd set your alarm 20 minutes earlier than normal. I get myself up and dressed first and then start getting DC dressed.

You'll be absolutely fine, see it as an adventurer and not a chore. You'll be proud of yourself by the end of the week and DH should come back and let you have a lie in because he's had one every day whilst away perhaps not a lie in but no dc caring responsibilities

YADNBU. Other people have to do it (myself included) but it's hard. I've got 3 year old twins and he's away every bloomin' week and it sometimes makes parenting v mechanical as you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it.

I have a little mantra - everyone's fed/nobody's dead - and that kind of keeps me in perspective!

I think the idea about putting the toddler to bed in leggings is officially boss-level genius!!! Just cut yourself a bit of slack. 70% is still an A and all that. Just get through. And demand a treat from DH when he's back.

As nightswift says though, there are some advantages. I guiltily rather enjoy my solitary evenings, making proper welsh rarebit, MNing while watching the programmes I like, not having to ask anyone how their day's been, getting into pyjamas at the same time as the DCs. the fact the house has no random teaspoons and diet coke cans round the place littering it up and things are put away IN THE CORRECT PLACE .

Good luck. You'll be fine.

Agree with the posters who say it is not easy but doable.

Get everything ready and lower your standards.

And your dp now owes you a few girls night out :)

I usually take mine upstairs and brush their teeth together in bedroom. Iv laid clothes out night before so ds1 gets himself dressed while I wrestle his brother into a new nappy and clothes.

It won't be as bad as you think. Lots of good suggestions above. If you can, enlist the help of DC1 in dealing with DC2, dd1 was always able to distract dd2 from her stropping so we could get out the door! Cultivate a team mindset, not you against them, I'm not explaining it well, sorry. My two are school age now and we don't really notice when DH is gone unless it's on the weekend as he rarely gets home for bedtime anyway.

I would tackle the 2 year old from the opposite end and take her to nursery in her PJs if she won't dress. It only took one occasion at just over 2 years old for my opinionated DD to decide she would dress for nursery. Nursery completely understood as they knew just how stubborn she was.

I'd have some chocolate buttons handy with my two

YABU. DP has gone away for four weeks, I have three under 5 work 50 hrs a week and nanny has just quit. So yeah, stop wibbling about a few nights! You will all survive even if it is a ballache. Enjoy eating biscuits super noodles and wine for dinner (the shame!) and not having a trail of messy destruction! Xxx

YANBU. My life has a lot in common. 5 yo and stubborn 2 yo and I work 3 days. If my dp was going away I would be not looking forward to it. That said, when I know he is not going to be here I get prepared and its often seems easier! Not sure how as he is reasonably helpful. Dp could have them for a day next weekend and you could do something for yourself? That would give you a break to look forward to. Good luck. Bet its not as hard as you think it will be.

Oh I like lonecat's suggestion. I understand a stubborn 2 year old. He was described by nursery as the most stubborn they have ever met!

YANBU. When DP goes away I worry so much in anticipation and then it's always fine - in fact I end up rather enjoying it. I also find that the kids play up less when DP's not around for some reason.

Some great tips here, I love the idea of skipping baths and making the whole thing easy and pleasant for yourself (microwave meals eaten in pyjamas etc)

I would pick your battles for the week. Kids won't eat breakfast give them a banana in the car. 2 year old won't get dressed take them to childcare in pjs (I am a cm this happens to me quite frequently lol). Give yourself a break and do easy meals the kids will eat (pancakes or beans on toast in my house). The washing and housework can wait. Am loving the 'all fed/no ones dead' approach and am adopting that for my stressful days thank you

Thanks. Was feeling really anxious about it last night. He does go away quite regularly, but only for 1-2 nights. I do love having the remote control to myself and the bed!

Dinner is easier with only yourself to please - I'm happy eating "kid's food" but feel strange dishing it up to DH (although he wouldn't mind!). Things like scrambled egg, potato waffles and broccoli go down well here and are reasonably balanced and easy to make.

On evenings when I have both DC on my own we all get in the bath together. It's fun and then you're clean too, which means you can skip a morning shower to make the AM routine simpler.

YANBU to be dreading it-is is really daunting to do on your own but you will amazed at what you can do when you have to. Plan plan plan ahead and remember that it is only for a few days and even if it is hard it won't last forever. Good luck ??

Take 2 year old to nursery or whatever in pjs if they won't get dressed.

Have easy teas like pizza or other stuff you can just bung in the oven

Overlook stuff which doesn't really matter like laundry til hes back.