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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is a good age to talk to DCs about periods/sex?

40 replies

kerrypn · 31/01/2015 23:41

In the title really.... DS1 is almost 9 and has never shown any curiosity at all, DD is 6 and always asking questions, DS2 is nearly 5 so hes definitely too young (although he did dress up as a midwife recently "to get the baby out of DDs tummy" lol (his teacher has just gone on mat leave!)

OP posts:
Doilooklikeatourist · 01/02/2015 22:23

A friends DD has just started her periods , age 10 and in year 6 so young
So , I would suggest not to leave it too long
Although my DD was 14 and already knew the basics

Doilooklikeatourist · 01/02/2015 22:26

Sorry , I'm not sure about boys ! Oops

meglet · 01/02/2015 22:31

I don't think it's something that should wait until they ask, you just have to tell them these things. Mine have never asked about photosynthesis or how our hearts pump blood around their bodies, doesn't mean I'm not going to tell them.

I started telling mine in reception year. Easier to do the basics of how babies are made, grow and come out at that age then all the layers of relationships, emotions and consent can be built on.

flora717 · 01/02/2015 22:49

It's been a gradual building of information in this house. They are 6 and 8. They both know the biology basics and XX / Xy and use anatomical names. Emotions and consent are where we're at conversationally.
The younger is actually more interested in bodies and it's been her " personal explorations" that have guided a sense of personal/ private. The eldest is far less interested, but won't stand her sister knowing more!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/02/2015 23:00

My DCs have just turned 9 and 11 and never really asked any questions, never shown any interest in why our bodies are different, despite us having an open door bathroom policy, it's all had to come from me. I agree it needs to be in stages, and just find opportunities in every day situations and conversations to bring it up. When I first tried a couple of years ago they didn't want to know, I had to persist, but now I drop things in when I can. They still don't ask many questions though.

atticusclaw · 01/02/2015 23:03

DS1 did it all in year 4 at school (although we'd told him some stuff already). My DCs go to an independent school but I'd assumed they all did it at about the same time at school? They did periods, sex etc

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas · 02/02/2015 00:04

Early early early Smile

Be open & honest ... I have it a lovely bonding time as my DD has started going through puberty at age nearly 9.

Through my job, I encountered a 12yr old girl the other day who attended a and e for tummy ache... She is actually pregnant. She had no ideaSad.

meglet · 02/02/2015 09:17

jam your DD really needs to know about periods at the age of 9. she could start any day now!

Whereisegg · 02/02/2015 09:29

Definitely get your eldest son a book, you don't want him knowing nothing when they have 'that' lesson at school, or worse, listening to rumours in the playground and believing things like having sex standing up = can't get pregnant etc.
Just hand it over near bedtime so he can read it in private but not have to face you for a bit, and let him know you're happy to discuss or answer any questions.

PacificDogwood · 02/02/2015 19:31

Blessed, that is so sad Sad. Poor girl.

I too have met girls who had no idea that what they were doing was 'sex' - the level of ignorance I sometimes see is quite unbelievable in the face of the over-sexualised society we live in Sad.

bigbluestars · 02/02/2015 19:43

My toddlers stuck to me like glue- even coming to the toilet with me, so they saw my bloody sanitary - so they knew about periods from the beginning- my DD and son. They were completely unfazed by it.

MissDuke · 02/02/2015 19:46

I always thought I would be open about this with dd from the start, I am training to be a midwife and really keen to teach dd all she needs to know. However she has ASD, and just loves to shout the word 'poo' and 'toilet' at every inappropriate opportunity (she is 10) so am afraid I would just be giving her more words to randomly shout out :-/ She would fully understand the information and would cope ok with the knowledge, but she is too impulsive to keep the info to herself.

Greencurtain · 02/02/2015 19:51

5 isn't too young. Both my dc knew all this stuff aged 3/4. It's funny at that age and a very easy ongoing conversation. They are now a bit older (almost 9&7) and they have known it "forever" and it isn't embarrassing to them. IMO you need to tell all of them. The little ones will be easier!

FullOfChoc · 02/02/2015 19:51

My DD started asking questions, because of things she'd heard in the playground as she turned 9. So I did a little talk about the birds and the bees but stopped short of periods. She's just past 9 1/2 (yr 5) now and has recently heard something about periods in the playground so we had a look at the "what's happening to me" book and discussed periods and puberty.

Loads of my friends haven't had any conversations at all - yet they're all hearing the same things in the playground. I'm pleased DD was able to come to me and ask questions and we've got a line of communication open.

Good luck!

sarahsnail · 02/02/2015 20:14

I couldn't imagine telling my DC6 & DC4, they know the difference between male and female but have never asked anything else so it can be left till their older.

Its worked out ok with DS13 not telling him to early, he is still really open and not shy over anything. In fact he was more than happy to brag to everyone in the house when he got his first "pube" lol.

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