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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my employer to be a bit more flexible

44 replies

butterfly86 · 31/01/2015 21:39

I'm due to return from maternity leave in 7 weeks time, I'm going back part time which my employer is fine about. I asked weeks ago to have a meeting to discuss my new hours etc but have been kept hanging on until now, I reserved some days at nursery in november just so we had a place and other days will be covered by family. Anyway I went for meeting and was asked what I wanted to do so I said these are the days I have childcare and without even letting me finish my employer said no I want you to work these hours-one of the days is a day I have no childcare as the nursery don't have a place that day. Am I being unreasonable to think my employer could at least have tried to come to an arrangement why ask what I wanted when they already had in mind what days they want me to do. The person covering my maternity (was employed when I left to cover me) is being given preference of hours. I don't think there is going to be any flexibility and I'm afraid I might have to walk away, I'm considering going self employed if necessary (could easily be done in my type of work) but I feel a bit upset as I've worked there for 10 years and the staff turnover etc has been huge and I've been loyal and bent over backwards (it's a small family business).

OP posts:

littleleftie · 01/02/2015 12:37

It sounds as though they have deliberately said you cannot have off the only day you have no childcare to make it hard for you to return - is that correct?

In which case I would say I am coming back full time. I bet they miraculously say you can have that day off then........

LIZS · 01/02/2015 12:40

Could it be that the cover also has issues with that day ? You can't force them to agree to meet your inflexibility. At least check out other nurseries and childminders before you go back to them with a definite response.

HereIAm20 · 01/02/2015 13:16

What Snow White said

Stevie77 · 01/02/2015 13:29

Am I understanding correctly that your mat cover has been given their choice of days and you are asked to fit around it? If so, is this not a form of maternity discrimination? This is your role. Maybe post in Employment Issues.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 01/02/2015 13:57

Personally, I'd have filled in the formal request ages ago (they have so many days to respond to your request), you can then appeal it if you want to. I see you've spoken to ACAS now and I'd do as they suggest.

I expect you can't go straight to discrimination if you've not had a formal flexible working request turned down. However they will need to justify why they can't give you the days off you're requesting, what is the impact on the business of you being off that day? If you can work out what might be the problem with that day, you can put some suggestions in your application about how you can make it work. Plus once you have their reasoning in writing, you can work at addressing it or taking it further if it's discriminating.

Also, how long are you asking to work part time for? I found my request for flexible working (3 days, Mon, Wed & Fri) was partly agreed because I wasn't off Mondays and Fridays, and also, I asked for it for 6mo, moving to 4 days a week after that, and finally back up to f/t. My boss was happy with this as she didn't want a permanent reduction in hours, I never would have got a permanent change.

Annoying as it is, it isn't their problem your nursery of choice is full on the day they want you to work, they don't have to allow you to come back on p/t hours (if they have a business reason why not).

Original poster

butterfly86 · 01/02/2015 16:17

Thank you for all of your responses sorry I can't respond individually...I do feel I'm being backed in to a corner it wouldn't have been a problem if we'd met before now it would have given me plenty of time to sort childcare but I ended up having to blindly reserve some days taking a chance they'd be ok now I owe nursery a £300 deposit when I don't even need those days! I actually said to my father today I wonder what would happen if I said I want to back full time because they are definately banking on me going back part time. Oh I don't know I'm stressing over it I'm doing my best to sort something out. Im going to try some more nurseries Ive already tried some but they're all full up with it being short notice.

OP posts:

Fabulous46 · 01/02/2015 16:26

OP you said other days can be covered by family, can they not cover the day you need to work?

Evabeaversprotege · 01/02/2015 18:01

Have you thought about a childminder?

windchime · 01/02/2015 18:53

I think you should quit and go self-employed. I have just got to the point of quitting my job. Just you wait until you want annual leave during school holidays. They will be equally inflexible, as my employer is. For example, I was denied one particular week this year because I took that week off last year. No-one else wants it, they just don't want me to have it.

Original poster

butterfly86 · 01/02/2015 19:07

Unfortunately not fabulous it's the only day we're really stuck.

Evabeaver I don't know why I'm not keen on a childminder but I'm just not, dd is quite clingy for me so I think nursery will do her good also there's the downfall of if ever the childminder is ill we'd be stuck again without anybody.

Windchime I think self employed is looking likely and more appealing at the moment, I have exactly the same kind of crap about holidays-when we were getting married it was all booked and had ok'd hols my employer came back to me and said Im off that same fortnight I thought you only wanted the 1 day I was like WTF!? I was actually expected to get up the morning after my wedding and go to work!

OP posts:

SparkyUK · 01/02/2015 19:59

I don't know how they manage it, but I don't think childminders get sick. Mine didn't at least and i was with her for three years and she didn't have one single sick day. Much more likely in my experience, for your child to pick up bugs at nursery as there are so many more germs coming in and out. So you will be having to take time off for that.

Honestly, I think you need to look at either a CM for that one day. If she is in nursery 2 days a week then she can work on her seperation anxiety then, if that is a serious concern. Or call their bluff and say you are go to have to come back full time and if you still want to reduce hours, put in another request.

Or a nanny/nanny share?

Its just one day and there will be another solution i'm sure if you are being flexible in your thinking.

FreeWee · 01/02/2015 20:03

Is 2 days a realistic part time amount for you or do you need to work 3? Perhaps you could build up your self employed business bit on one of the days you've got reserved at the nursery so you don't lose your deposit then you can leave when the business is up and running?

Runningupthathill82 · 01/02/2015 20:05

I think YABU, sorry. Your employer is letting you go back part time and do the number of days you want to - is that not good enough, really?
They have to think about the needs of the business, not your childcare issues.

Surreyblah · 01/02/2015 20:10

It would be a shame to leave your job without any redundancy or anything, and it does seem they might be looking to make you do so. If you have evidence that your cover is being offered more favourable employment terms (eg shift choices) you could put in a grievance about that.

You could call their bluff, put in a formal request (making clear when you made it verbally and what was said at the meeting) and say that if they disagree you would of course be willing to consider other PT working patterns, subject to childcare, or return FT as per your contract/mat leave rules.

Yabu to rule out alternative childcare. Nursery might be your preference but if it isn't available when you need it then it makes sense to look at other options. Having said that often spaces do come up sooner than they say.

Surreyblah · 01/02/2015 20:12

If your Dd has separation anxiety, she might well be happier with a CM , a sole carer she can get used to, than in a nursery.

TendonQueen · 01/02/2015 20:24

Tartina's suggestion is good. Say you will be as flexible as you can with all the other days but that one day is a problem and if it can't be resolved then you will just have to give up the PT plan and come back FT after all to make it viable. Bet that will prompt some backtracking. Use the cards you've been dealt.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/02/2015 23:12

Odd how they want you on the only day you can't do.....

mimishimmi · 01/02/2015 23:42

YABU sorry, if they need you to work that day then it's really their right to say that. Of course if would have been nicer if they could have taken your preferences into account which is why they asked you but ultimately they have to do what's right for their business at the expense of what might suit you better.

maddening · 01/02/2015 23:46

I would find another nursery.

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