Ideal age for starting school? More of a WWYD as I'm a bit lost

[Dutch1e]

We're a roaming family. DP and DS (3) are Dutch, I'm from New Zealand (technically) and DD (grown) is Australian but pretty happy to live anywhere in the world.

Compulsory school age in the Netherlands is 5 years and most kids are in preschool at 4, with nursery/creche etc pretty popular too at 3 and under. We're in Portugal right now and will be moving here eventually. But as our income is portable we're free to have a homebase in Portugal and ramble about the world within certain constraints.

Compulsory school age here in Portugal is from 6 years, with preschool being both free and completely without a set timetable. As long as you let them know when you'll be using it you can basically drop in and out as you need to.

We have also been considering Home Ed. Or a combination of school and Home Ed which is well-known in the UK but almost unheard of in the rest of the EU.

I know every child is different but I'm interested in your experiences: What is, or what would have been (in hindsight) the ideal age for your DCs to start school/preschool? Or would you have avoided school altogether?

We're extremely fortunate to have so many options but it also makes choosing the right path really difficult. Help!

For me - and I don't think you will agree! - the most important thing was stability.

My DD is a March birthday, so neither old nor young for her year in the English system, and she was ready and wanted to start school in the September when she was 4 1/2. She knew the school, because she had been in the nursery there. Some of the summer born children in her class struggled at first, not really academically but they just weren't robust enough to cope with a school day, and in many cases to do things like get changed for PE.

I was happy for DD to start school when she did, and she was fine with it. But I wouldn't have wanted to chop and change her schools, as I think she grew in ability and confidence from a settled environment. Some children thrive on change, but I don't think DD would've been one of them!

I think if you are going be constantly moving about then home ed would be best. Ds was just 4 when he started because his birthday is end of July. He had been in nursery since a baby because I had to work though. Personally I think formal education should start at age 6 as it does in some countries.

Re-read about Portugal. That sounds ideal.

We've also been roaming about a lot as a family. I think (and the research tends to agree) that form education shouldn't start until 6 or 7. What you do before that probably depends a little on the child but in general learning through play (with toys and activities designed to encourage imaginary, fine motor control, emotional regulation, social skills etc) in mixed age groups but without too rigid a structure.

We're very lucky at the moment as my son attends a wonderful pre school for 2.5 - 5/6 year olds. Loads of out door play 8-10 kids with two teachers. There is a focus on positive discipline; loads of time outside, some unstructured time (for drawing, reading, doing puzzles etc), music lessons, dance lessons, lots of time outside looking for mushrooms, building forts. They're never forced to join in an activity but most tend to because they're such fun.

Ideally my son would learn another language by immersion at school too (so many advantages to being bilingual and I suck at languages so I particularly wish I had been given another language "for free") but that's not possible for us at the moment.

Not every child, particularly at a young age can cope with a very structured environment with lots of kids of the same age.

If I could home school and travel I would. They learn so much more

Leeds2 actually I do agree. DS is a classic introvert and so I think it's going to be really important to him to have a VERY predictable environment. Whether that means a predictable family or a predictable country/language/routine or both remains to be seen.

But it's put us into a state of shock to be dealing with it as DD is bomb-proof and adored new countries as long as her home life was stable.

TwoOddSocks that's one of the things that is making us leave the Netherlands. It's a great country for many things but the school system (even preschool) is rigid. Really, really rigid. And it's just not for us.

As I mentioned, DS is a born introvert so although Home Ed appeals to us personally, I'm not sure it's ideal for him. I call him my little Sheldon Cooper - he's not on the spectrum but he's definitely one of life's oddballs Having a variety of people in his life will be good for him, even if he only chooses to spend time with a few of them. And yes, bilingualism has helped DS a lot. His dad has a gift for languages (4 fluently and 2 or 3 more at conversational level "just for fun") and I really envy it.

Can I ask where your family roamed to and why?

Whatever you decide to do, I would encourage out of school activities if you DS is an introvert. In the UK, you can do something for just one term (and I imagine it is the same elsewhere) but it would encourage DS to socialise. My DD never followed through with friendships with the children she met at out of school clubs, but she enjoyed the experience of going.

The experience you describe in Portugal sounds lovely!