to feel stupid

[crazylady12]

I have suffered from anxiety and depression from a very young age am only 24 I have refused any help terrified of medication my doctor. Suggested I keep a diary of my feelings but I feel so stupid and go blank :s Can it really help

It can help.
Can I suggest this website:
www.getselfhelp.co.uk

The sections on anxiety and depression are very helpful. I've suffered with both so if you'd like to chat or ask anything please PM me.

Don't feel stupid. Anxiety and depression are illnesses. Can you explain what parts of treatment scare you? A diary is a starting point but you really need the support of a professional to overcome, or at least reduce, the suffering you're experiencing now.

I am terrified of going onto medication and then a doctor just taking it off me or saying I don't need it or getting addicted I think the worst of most cases I have had this for about 10 years and have been taken to plenty of doctors who haven't given a crap

You aren't stupid.

Doctors will start you on something light if you ask and will do what they can to avoid addiction.

We all need help at times. If you had cancer or broke your leg you'd accept medical help.

Ask your GP about talking therapy as well.

If you don't feel confident in your GP ask to see another one. Explain to the receptionists and they should be able to book you in with a gentle GP.

Have you spoken to someone about treatment plans and how they would work? I must admit, I am far from an expert, but to the best of my knowledge many people are given drugs that they are expected to take for the rest of their life if they help.
Could you speak to someone who would explain the process and give you some idea of how they would reach any decision which could affect ongoing treatment?
Also, in the worst case scenario that you found a drug which helped but could only have it for the short-term - would it not be better to have the short-term benefits so that you could put longer-term plans into place than just not try them at all? If you had a course of medication which allowed you to overcome your anxiety enough to attend counselling or CBT or something, then the effects of the therapy might last beyond any medication.
It sounds like you have had bad luck with your doctors, but I am sure there is someone out there who will be able to reassure you. Good luck

When I went on my medication I gradually increased it until I found it helpful. I have been told I can stop it when I'm ready by slowly taking less. That's my decision to make. I can stay on as long as I need. I've had telephone counselling and CBT.
It was very hard to go to the GP but it's been the best thing I've ever done.

You don't get addicted to SSRI medication in the same way as people get addicted to things like tramadol. Provided that you come off them gently it is easy to come off them within a few weeks.

Doctors can't just take medication off you if you are still showing the symptoms. Even if they really helped and you started to feel stable and not anxious any more a doctor would only reduce the dose if you agreed that you were ready.

There is a questionnaire that a doctor can ask you to complete which might be of more help than a diary but then again I suspect the diary is to try to work out when you feel at your worst and to see if anything is causing it. It's not meant to make you feel better as such but to help find out what is going on. You could rate your anxiety out of ten at regular times and then describe what is happening at that moment around you or you could concentrate on when you feel really bad and describe what is happening then.

What you have written here sound like catastrophic thoughts about the worst that could happen and they are symptoms of your illness. It isn't you being stupid at all, it is you being ill. Just on this evidence alone I would say you need more help than you are getting. It took me about 10 years to make doctors see that it wasn't just teenage angst and I was still depressed in my late 20s and I am well now after a long time being treated.

Keep going back to the doctors until they take you seriously. Say no to any treatments you don't think will work for you but please try to listen to your doctor with an open mind which is incredibly difficult when the scary thoughts are in your head.

Good luck.

Thank you I spoke to one doctor told her I was anxious about medication she wrote me a prescription and told me to come back in 2 months I had to go home and research the tablets I never took them abd never went back my local doctors are all locham doctors never the same one twice. :( am just ata dead end might get my auntie to cone with me help me explain abit more

Thank you sisterofmercy I'll try again I am so close to just giving up

That sounds like a good idea to have someone to stick up for you. Also if she trusts the treatment suggestion given by the doctor you'll have more confidence to try it too.

That doctor should never have issued that prescription without explaining what the tablets were for, how they work and what you could expect in the future. It sounds like a surgery that is having trouble getting doctors to stay with not enough time to see the patients which is a nightmare for the patients who need to be able to build a relationship of trust.

I was put on SSRI tablets like citalopram and prozac. They didn't make me feel very strange and they didn't make me happy but they did make me feel a bit stronger and stable. I noticed I didn't feel quite so awful any more. This gave me the strength to find a talking cure which worked - that took the longest as I had to try a few but I was very lucky in that I eventually found one.

Talking to someone is definitely the most powerful treatment I ever had as it changed the way I think about life in a good way.

Also, as a human being, you are far too precious a soul to be given up on.

Definitely don't give up on this as you truly are worth the effort and imagine if you could be free from some of your symptoms - surely that is worth a try even if it is hard to get the ball rolling?
I think taking someone with you is a brilliant idea - if your aunt understands how you feel, she might be able to help ask the questions that you will want answered and take on information that you could miss, especially if you are feeling anxious. I also think that researching on the internet can lead you down a bit of a rabbit-hole when it comes to medications. Some have side effects, and some won't work for certain people, but there are lots of scare stories out there from people who may not understand why they had a reaction or why the meds didn't work for them, so their account might not be the most accurate or unbiased. Doctors may be busy and keen to speed things up but it doesn't mean that they can't help - perhaps you (or someone on your behalf) could call and ask for a double appointment so that you can have more time to discuss your concerns?

About your worry that doctors will suddenly stop medication or say you don't need it - in my experience they are quite happy for you to keep taking something that is improving things for you, and will encourage you to continue medication for a while even after you're feeling better before gradually reducing the dose.

It might help to post on the mental health forum too. Just want to wish you luck.. Some good folk will be able to advise you better than me, but I agree seeing your G P is a really good idea.