AIBU to be surprised at how much Child maintenance costs?

[demystified]

I have 1 child and earn 16.5k a year. Out of curiosity(thread on here) I put these details in the child maintenance calculator and based on having my child 1 or 2 nights a week it says I would pay £33 a week.

They must be having a laugh, or am I missing something? Is there another part to it?

Yanbu it's really pathetic how low it is.

My ex pays £16 per child per week and not a penny more, he can't possibly afford it!

We have a private arrangement, every time I try to get him to review it he threatens to stop
CSA? or whatever it's called now took 2 years to do nothing so I gave in and went for a private arrangement

It's an absolute joke

From reading some posts here as well it would seem logical to take the money through PAYE where possible and give it straight to the mother, no more lying about earnings either.

They do it with student loans so it shouldn't be that hard.

DS is 16 now. I get no maintenance, but thankfully DH has raised him as his own child.

I can't imagine walking away from your own child and then refusing to pay a penny towards their upkeep.

My dad paid £5 a month for a total of 2 years, it took until I was 14 for the CSA to even mandate that because he is self employed and can easily say he hasn't had much work. He used to love buying me crap and presents though, always stuff but never anything of substance. Now I'm older i can see that my mum struggled so much for basic things because he had the attitude of doing all the "fun" stuff and none of the hard stuff like school shoes and trousers that fit. I try and keep him at arm's length now, he's just very difficult and doesn't seem to understand my issue with his actions which have always been in his own interest.

I do wonder sonetimes though, how much would be enough?

What do people think? 30% of earnings? 40? 50?

Realistically, the nrp will still have rent/bills to pay, but without the possible support of tax credits /cb.

@KindleFancy

I don't know what's fair but it should be more than 10%. The median UK salary is around £517 a week. Someone earning that pays £53 a week. That leaves a hell of a lot for everything else.

I don't believe the system should financially cripple NRPs but nor do I think it's fair that in situations like my own (detailed downthread) an NRP on a very good wage should be allowed to pay an amount that doesn't even nearly cover half the costs of raising a child. Especially in circumstances (again like mine) where the resident parent's income is so low that making up that shortfall means they frequently miss meals to make sure their children are fed, clothed, clean, warm and happy.

The % should increase with every 5k earned after 15k in my opinion. 15k and below should pay a base rate calculated to supply as close to half the cost of raising a child as possible while still allowing them to get by.

Ex DP supposed to pay 300 per month for 2. Pays on average 200, dries up when he goes on holiday to Dubai and so on. Then says he should have the children more "because she is always working" WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO WORK SO HARD FUCKTARD?! Agggrrah. Rant over. Oo oo can't go to CSA as 'self employed' --fails
To declare an income-- and no method of recovery. Is a joke.

I'm an NRP I pay £60 per week for DD and contribute for uniform /shoes as needed. Plus I fetch and return her 400 mile round trip EOW

Don't begrudge a penny and DD's DM2 knows she can always ask as does DD's Dad

wow that is sooo little! Ex pays £200pcm for 1 child, and goes halves on uniform, school trips, bus fairs etc :|

My ex hasn't increased his maintenance of £140 p.m since we split up 10 years ago when ds was 2. He's so mean with money.
I don't ask him anymore, sick of his lies/excuses.
Works full time, has 2 part time businesses which I don't think he declares(believe me I've thought about it!)

Mmm....iI agree wholeheartedly with maintenance, but nobody should be going without food -maintenance is additional to any benefits and lone parents are treated as couples for benefits/tax credits, or even more generously.

I get £33 pw from ex. We split Xmas and birthdays, clothes are another issue.

Just as a side note, Fitzgerald may I suggest another expletive for your ex? Thundercunt for example Fucktard is another version of retard and therefore disabilist language.

My DP pays £50 maintenance a week. We buy her new clothes, shoes etc when she needs them and we drive the 80 mile round trip to pick her up every weekend. I think that is a very reasonable amount comsidering neither myself or DP earn anywhere near 16,500 combined.

My dad used to pay something like £24 PM for two of us!!

My ex pays £230/m. He has our daughter 2/3 nights a week.

Ours is a private arrangement. I have to 'trust' that he pays the right maintenance. I asked and he refuses to show me pay slips etc.

Was talking to his mum recently (she has no idea how much he pays, but clearly thinks it's more than it is) and he got promoted over a year ago and received a £7k (!) PAYRISE. Did the maintenance go up? Did it buggery.

I pay for all clothes, uniform and school trips, after school clubs so I can work FT as can't afford to work pt. I use annual leave for parents eve, conferences and school plays. He doesn't. I am worse off in so many ways just because I take care of our dd and he sees none of this.

My ex spends a fortune on 'stuff' for dd and thinks I get 'more than enough'. That I am some money grabbing scrounged to actually want the Cms minimum, rather than what he thinks we should receive.

Thing is, as mentioned up thread, I go without, as many RP's do, to make sure dd doesn't. I pay far more than £230/month to feed, clothe and house dd.

we pay dp's ex £300/month (still above csa guidelines) and we then buy all school uniform for hers and stuff for here, all school shoes, coats for school, full wardrobe of clothes and coats for here and 50% of school trips and any activity related costs when they are with us. Averaged out it works out to about £400/month. we are meant to have them overnight once a week and eow but ex frequently cancels the weeknight contact and then demands extra money because we haven't had then enough but funnily enough never reduces her expectations when she wants us to have them extra because she has booked a weekend away on her weekend with the kids.

I don't begrudge the money for the children at all however she is living rent free at the OM's house, lied through her teeth about her earnings and earning potential during mediation, refuses to increase her hours because then her benefits would drop (she is an accountant so earning potential is double dp's). then has a blue fit because dsd and dd have to share a bedroom and demanded we bought a 4 bedroom house so that they had their own rooms. we cannot afford a 4 bed house if she wants her maintenance to remain at nearly double the csa guidelines so the girls share. however at the house she loves on with OM dsd (9) shares a bedroom with dss (11) and that apparently is fine.

@dmystified - if the median wage is £517 per week then the RP must be earning that too plus most RP will also get child benefit and possibly other benefits. It's not all about just what the NRP pays, look at the bigger picture.

The bigger picture? The only benefit that the resident parent is guaranteed to get is child benefit. £20.30 a week for one child. That covers school dinners at £2 a day, a couple of evening meals and some pocket money.

And before anyone says that things like pocket money are a luxury, there's more to raising children than keeping them alive. Children want things. And nobody wants their grown up children to reflect upon their childhood and resent the RP because that's the person they look to for things they want.

I applaud NRPs who don't see the CMS figure as their whole contribution and buy uniforms, treats, shoes, clothes, and perhaps give extra money. That's how it's supposed to be, but sadly, people like me have to make do with the legal minimum, which during the course of raising a child is a pittance.

Of course, cupid. My point, though, is that if you are going without meals in this country because of a lack of CM, something is wrong, because it isn't taken into account for any benefit. So therefore, you are either spending beyond your means, or not getting the benefits you are entitled to.

Yes lougle it's obvious I'm spending beyond my means if I'm going without meals. But that's because, unlike the benefits system and my ex, I want my daughter to really enjoy her life, not merely survive. So yes, I go without so that she doesn't grow up feeling poor and disadvantaged.

Her father's contributions may well come to roughly 50% of her basic survival needs. But it's extremely sad that that's all that's expected from NRPs.

Well I like my children to grow up not feeling poor, but it's simply daft to go without basic nutrition so that your children don't feel poor, isn't it?

In my house we do essentials first, then luxuries. If the children feel poor as a result, then I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.

My dad paid a fiver a week. Just one of the reasons why he isn't in my life and has never met his grandchild.

Bargain