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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague leaving

35 replies

TSam · 30/01/2015 13:49

My manager is leaving on Wednesday but today is officially her last day in the office. She has been here for years and isn't very popular and makes my life quite miserable tbh. Not bullying or anything serious but snidey and sarcastic. I bought her lunch yesterday at a restaurant and have brought in a box of chocs, champagne and a card to give her but my bf is saying i shouldn't bother with the bottle because she is awful, and that card and chocs will do. She is a nightmare to work for yet is totally oblivious. The problem is that I don't think anyone else has done anything for her because she isn't nice! Simple as that! WWYD? AIBU?

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 30/01/2015 13:50

I agree with your friend. Keep the champagne and share it with her instead.

Horrible people reap what they sow.

Clarinet9 · 30/01/2015 13:52

Depends
are you nice?
are you going to be eating cold baked beans for the next month to afford the champagne?

TBH I would give it to her you will probably make her day and she will probably always remember you kindly

I am not tough or heartless though

Suzietastic · 30/01/2015 13:53

Oh god no. I'd keep the chocolates too. You've bought her lunch and a card, that'll do just fine.

latersbabes · 30/01/2015 13:54

I agree - definitely just the card and chocs...and I still count that as being nice.

Legwarmersforboys · 30/01/2015 13:54

Drink the champagne tonight with your bf & toast her departure. I am heartless...

LadyLuck10 · 30/01/2015 13:55

Are you a people pleaser op. I really think it would be fake of you to do all of this when you don't even like her.

MimiSunshine · 30/01/2015 13:56

For someone who makes your lifer miserable, you certainly have spent a lot on her. Are you just glad she's going Grin?

I think you are over compensating because you know no one else will bother? I have a tendency to do the same but I think you should keep the champagne and just go with the card and chocs.

Drink the champagne yourself to celebrate her departure Grin Grin

bettyboop1970 · 30/01/2015 13:56

Keep the champagne for yourself and have a glass tonight to toast her good riddance!!

squoosh · 30/01/2015 13:57

You sound like a lovely person to be worrying about the feelings of an unpopular and unpleasant colleague.

Lunch, chocs and a card is plenty.

Save the champagne till Monday morning Wink

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/01/2015 14:04

Snidey and sarcastic five days a week? Makes your life miserable? Keep the champagne to share with your bf. Hell, keep the chocolates too.

bloodygorgeous · 30/01/2015 14:11

You sound very nice. But honestly lunch and card is more than enough. Chocs if you must, but agree don't waste an expensive gift of bubbly on her.

ghostyslovesheep · 30/01/2015 14:11

keep the wine and the chocs - give her the card

Original poster
TSam · 30/01/2015 14:11

Thanks everyone. Mum says "dont burn your bridges" Hmm don't know what to think now...

OP posts:
Itsgoingtoreindeer · 30/01/2015 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 30/01/2015 14:13

Lunch, chocolates and a card is very much keeping your bridges in tact. Burning your bridges would be saying 'I was going to give you a bottle of champagne too but decided against it as you're a cow'.

Clarinet9 · 30/01/2015 14:13

seriously what do you feel is right

(can you afford the champagne- not expecting an answer to that one)

why not give it?

you got it for her?

Joolsy · 30/01/2015 14:14

Keep the wine & chocs, why would you give them to her when you don't even like her? You've already bought her lunch. She's a big girl, she'll get over the fact that no one else has got her anything & might be a bit of a wake up call.

Itsgoingtoreindeer · 30/01/2015 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/01/2015 14:14

Lunch and a card is plenty, certainly not burning your bridges.

Fullpleatherjacket · 30/01/2015 14:19

Not really understanding why you feel you have to fill any possible gap yourself but lunch and a card is more than enough.

She wouldn't have got either from me Grin

cornflakegirl · 30/01/2015 14:27

Give her the fizz - not because she's nice, but because you're nice.

DoJo · 30/01/2015 14:29

She is a nightmare to work for yet is totally oblivious. The problem is that I don't think anyone else has done anything for her because she isn't nice!

Then give her a life lesson as a leaving present - if you aren't nice to people, they won't give you champagne.

concretekitten · 30/01/2015 14:31

I wouldn't have done anything more than start a collection at work n put maybe a quid or 2 in it.
Defo keep the champagne

FamilyAdventure · 30/01/2015 14:37

A card and a box of chocs or lunch (n ot both)is as much as I would expect from a colleague if I left and I'm lovely to work with Grin

jerryfudd · 30/01/2015 14:41

If this is what you do for someone that hasn't made your working week pleasant for years and you don't actually like, what the heck do you do for people you actually like that leave?