Is this unreasonable? I feel weird about it.

[Hurr1cane]

My sister and her very long term DP have split up, well they split up months ago but she decided to hand her notice in at work and move to the other side of the country to live with a friend and start afresh. Her DP will keep on their house.

Anyway, basically our mum bought Dsis a coach on credit when she moved in with her DP, it was very expensive and DM is still paying it off.

DM text me and told me that DSis didn't want to take the coach with her, so did I want it?

My coach is very old, worn out and with 4 cats and a child with autism and disabilties, a bit scratched and stained, so I would love it.

However, I said no because I did not want to leave my sisters DP, who I've known for years and hasn't done anything wrong, without a coach.

DM said she had offered for him to take over the payments and he refused and she wasn't paying for a coach that neither of us had.

So my sister said what if we had a swap and gave him my old coach and swapped it round? I said yes if that's what her DP wanted and he agreed.

BUT....

I just feel horrible taking his spotless, new coach, which has never had a child or animal on it, and handing him my rubbish, old, cat bed in return.

I can't even wash or Hoover it as I've had a miscarriage/ ectopic miscarriage this week and I can't even move without feeling like someone is stabbing me right through my womb and slowly twisting the sword. I usually Hoover and use the carpet cleaner on it weekly.

Is this horrible?

Just get the couch he doesn't want to pay for it so why should he get it?

Bloody hell you sound so nice, its made me well up a little.

Take the sofa, and after the awful time you've had, lie down on it, get a blanket over you, with a box of chocolates, a cup of tea and watch a film.

So sorry about your miscarriage.

Thanks. I'll take it and offer him my wet vax thing to clean it if he wants to shall I?

Rest easy on your new couch OP

I followed your other thread and I'm very sorry about what has happened.

Right now you should be ignoring everything and everyone else and looking after yourself. It that's what your Mum and sister want to do then let them. Her ExDP isn't your responsibility, he could've said yes to the couch and payments but chose not to so fair enough. You have it.

Nothing to feel guilty about. Rest up and take care of yourself petal.

Thanks I know I should be ignoring everything but it's hard because life doesn't stop does it? No matter how much you want it to just for a few days.

I feel proud that the basics (dishes and litter trays) are being done and that DS is washed twice a day (skin condition) and has had freshly washed and ironed uniform all week.

It hasn't helped that everyone and his dog has chosen this week to call me, genetics testing centre for DS, DSs paediatrician, direct payments centre, landlady and even student loans have all called to confirm mundane things this week and I couldn't exactly say "fuck off I don't want to talk to anyone" because they don't know.

I wish there was a way to press pause on the world though for a day or so. Maybe I can at the weekend.

Student loans is from 6 years ago as well, they haven't called for 3 years but just happened to choose this week to call and confirm I'm still a full time carer. Sod's law.

Ignore the phone. Of it's important they'll call back. Or delegate to your DH/dp.

I've had a blighted ovum with OP to remove plus two miscarriages and you really do need to rest. I know it's hard though.

Sorry, didn't mean to sound bossy.

Well I'm in bed and DP has just been driven off in a van full of women with my couch to do the sofa swap. He looks so uncomfortable

I feel bad about just lying in bed waiting for it to be done but I'm still in pain. Surely it shouldn't last this long?

Have they still not scanned you? Might be worth kicking up a fuss if the pain lasts much longer. And you know to hot foot it to A&E if it gets very severe again don't you?

Just expressing concern as a previous ectopic sufferer. People talk about shoulder tip pain, but as I understand it at that point you are in some quite serious trouble. So don't wait for that, have them check you over if the pain gets worse.

Oh and enjoy that shiny new sofa!

Hmm not sure how comforting that post was sorry. Having read your other threads I do think it's most likely a nasty miscarriage. Have had lots of them too (lucky me) and they can be v sore and drag on. Again, you should be scanned if it goes on too long to make sure you don't get an infection.

Sorry, did it again a bit.

Brucie your posts cheered me up. I do the whole straight to the point thing as well and then worry it's coming across wrong. I'm going to go to my GP on Monday and talk to them and if I can't get an appointment then I'll ring the ward and ask when my scan will be

Now half of my living room looks dead posh and the other half still looks like a nursery

I'll just have to only photograph the sofa and coffee table half