to wish I was a single parent

[blingblingbling]

My god, im at the end of my rope. Were both 23. We argue about the silliest things. We have a 5 month old dd. He doesn't lift a finger. I kicked him out a while back, I had a thread on here over that. Its gotten to the stage that I dread him coming back from work. I dread waking up to him in the morning. We are like strangers. I am tempted to leave him, but dont want that for my dd. I just dont know what to do.

Bad/unhappy relationship= unhappy child

Single parent = hard work but happy

Iv chosen to be single before and the relief and happiness I felt was surprising, better being single with no support than with a partner dead weight that gives none.

Do you want your DD to grow up thinking this is the sort of relationship that is normal and acceptable?

Good luck blingblingbling. Obviously I don't know the details, but just the way you said you dreaded him being around made me think you are doing absolutely the right thing. And remember that we're all here for those days where it seems bloody hard and you feel like you're sinking. But there are great times to be had too (I did a lot of camping last summer with a friend who also has a son same age as my DS - we had a whale of a time, doing all sorts of things I'd never have thought I had the guts to do, like gorge scrambling).

One thing I'd suggest, based on my own experience, is have a strategy lined up for dealing with loneliness. I got very lonely when DS was probably about 18 months - so I got the kitchen calendar, texted my friends and acquaintances from toddler groups and so on, and lined at least one thing up for every single weekend for the next two months - even if it was just "come round for a bit of a play then beans on toast" - and having made the effort, I found the return invitations started coming in and suddenly life was a lot easier.

For me, the thought of being a single parent was much scarier than the reality. If you are happy then your little one will be happy.

being a single parent is better tahn being in a realtionship that weighs you down/bausive/violent. so muuch better!

agree it is less work too.

I became a sp when dd was 15m. It's not easy, I wasn't something I would of chosen at the time but in hindsight it was the best thing to happen to dd and I. Her df and I being apart is completely her norm and so far it hasn't negatively affected her

If your relationship isn't working then you shouldn't be together; it's not good for your DD to be in a difficult atmosphere.

Remember, however, that being a single parent won't be easier. It may give you one less thing to worry about in terms of your relationship, but looking after a young child alone is relentless.

Thank you all for the advice. Its such a relief being able to talk about it and not being told to fucking shut up. He honestly scares me. I can't believe im typing this. But it feels great admitting it and not holding it in anymore.

Definitely split up if he scares you. That's no environment for your child.

You'll be ok. In fact you'll be better than ok - you'll be great. I've been a single parent since pregnancy so it's all I've (and DS has) ever known.