AIBU to not always take my children to the supermarket

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My "mother" (bi-polar narc) has suggested that getting the food shopping delivered/online shop is an act of cruelty as I'm not teaching my children where food comes from (either the animal or the country)
We go out shopping probably 1/2 weeks out of 4 so it's only about half the time but the kids are only just turned 4 and 20 months and we don't drive so sometimes getting a nice man to bring it in after they're asleep is a bit easier
For context, my mother had 2 children with a 10 year gap and was a sahp all that time (never really worked) and had exclusive use of a car full time
I work every evening/night, dp works every day, we have 2 preschoolers with a 2.5 year gap, don't drive and no support from anyone
So I ask aibu? I will obey the majority and take the kids out every week if you think I am

I pretty much NEVER took my son supermarket shopping if I could avoid it, to the extent that I often shopped around 10pm. Online shopping was pretty new then (and had a bad reputation for bizarre substitutions) so I didn't use that then. I do now. Your mother is a loon to think it should be compulsory.

And how on earth would it teach them where food comes from? Or does your mother think the supermarket grows the veg out the back in the warehouse ?

"Let your mum take them if she wants. Give her a list and the kids and see how long she lasts."
Excellent idea from DeanKoontz!

I take mine to the supermarket and they hate it. I also say let your mum take them and see how quickly her opinion changes!

I make my boys sit on the footpath outside our local (very small) supermarket. There's something in that store that turns them into little demons and I just can't be arsed dealing with them when all I want is milk and bread. Tell your mother about me - I'll make you look good.

some of the comments made me chuckle. YANBU at all. We like the asda van man he even carries our shopping into the kitchen. We are same as you go to shops for a few bits but the BIG shop gets done online. Another cruel mama here!

Id say its more important to show how to cook from scratch than showing how to get food off a shelf. I personally wont if can avoid it as kids running around shops obviously bored isn't great for other people trying to shop.

Utterly ridiculous.

By that logic, we should stop using our washing machines and dishwashers so that we can teach my children how clothes and dishes are washed. Perhaps should stop vaccinating them so that they can see how diseases are treated.

Ignore your mother. Supermarkets are shit and should be avoided at all costs. Thank God for the Cabbage Van.

notyou she has said that we're lazy to use disposable nappies and we should go back to 'proper' ones - cloth and safety pin jobs conveniently forgetting my brother wore disposables too

Maybe she's right, perhaps I could take my kids on a nice little trip - farm/allotment/slaughterhouse and give them a full breakdown of where their food comes from, that wouldn't be traumatising at all right?!

It's just one of many many 'digs' at my parenting and I begin to question myself, thanks for the reassurance I am not dooming them forever without the weekly treks round sainsburys

You're doing it right. Children dislike shopping, they will often play up because it's boring for them. If you can have it brought to the door why not?

Haha, my mother shares this opinion as well. Apparently I'm denying my two toddlers a valuable learning experience by not taking them to the supermarket every week, and they can't possibly end up as functional members of society while I'm being a terrible mother and shopping online!

Not only that but the supermarket has to be a certain size to qualify as educational - the Tesco metro within walking distance of our house is just not good enough. She does have some very odd opinions sometimes though!

She's bonkers.I took DS (now 35) to Sainsburys once when he was about 18 months.I saw another side to my lovely mild mannered baby that day.Sufice to say we never went again.Babies+supermarkets = the equivalent of Dante's 7th circle of Hell.

My MiL regularly calls me lazy for stuff like this. She was horrified when she first realised we got the shopping delivered.

I've never been one for making things harder for myself so it seems more like using common sense, but hey, if she thinks I'm lazy I'm fine with that. I've never really been bothered about being called lazy. I prefer to think it means I'm doing it right

Your mother is a frootloop! Seriously!

When she makes these ridiculous suggestions just come back with something like 'Good God, why on earth would I deliberately go and do things the hard way? No thank you.'

Frootloop made me lol. Oh santa we could do a MN group tour to the slaughter house for all children who's mums use online shopping the lazeee mares! I always had my suspicions about something in the air con of supermarkets

DS not being toilet trained yet is a fav one for my not so DD.

That is ridiculous. YANBU. You are being very sensible! Anyway food does not come from supermarkets, it comes from animals and plants. Did your mum take you round a farm every week as well?! Just silly, don't take it on.

Tell her you've arranged a family outing to the slaughterhouse so you can all appreciate where food comes from, and insist that she comes along.

YANBU!!

My DPs used to bring us all (4 under 6, and then 6 under 10) the hour drive to the local "big city" every weekend to do the food shopping, any other shopping needed, go to the library and have a cup of coffee together (they'd have a milky coffee, we'd share 2 drinks between us and there would be 4 buns bought - 2 for grown ups and 2 would be sliced into 3 pieces each for children). All squished into the back of the car, and spending all Saturday from mid-morning until late afternoon out "doing the shopping". We all HATED it.

I live in a big city and can get to my choice of 3 large supermarkets or another 4 small ones within 15 minutes drive. And local F&V shops (choice of 3), butchers (4), fishmongers (2). (and a local Asian supermarket - but I tend to go to the better one near my office at lunchtimes).

I do internet shopping about once a month, smaller SM and local F&V/B/FM about twice a month and large SM once a month. DD knows well where food comes from - trips to local open farms, growing veg on our allotment when we had it, coming to butcher and fishmonger where they have lots of posters of the animals and fish on the walls, and SM too, have all helped to teach her that.

JUST going to the SM would not have taught her that at all. And the amount of time and energy it takes to drag her around the SM, even still (at aged 9!!) is unreal. So doing it on the internet is a godsend!

I was one of the very first tesco online shoppers when they started home deliveries all those years ago. Based purely on the fact that I didn't want to shop with baby/toddler combo. Lots of people said that hone shopping wouldn't be popular.
LOL!

Although, at least now I can send her to get certain items.

And there is a learning opportunity.....I am a very sneaky DM who makes her DD do lots of sums in the SM. Checking which size of packet is best value (working out unit prices by division), or how much we are going to spend altogether (usually just on a meal - not the whole trolley!!), fractioning items to see how many buns our family of 3 would each get from a 4 or a six pack of buns, how much are we saving if we buy 2 packs of something on a deal.....

But about where food comes from.....she's not missing out on that learning in SM!!

She's only missing out on the best ways to whine (what pitch is the most annoying) in order to get another extra treat added in this week...

Your mother is crazy - ignore her. YANBU!