To ask mil not to take dd swimming again this week

[Sugarfreeriot]

Mil loves to take dd swimming and tends to weekly. However last week I told her not to as dd was snotty and had a cough that seemed to be bothering her. Mil still had dd but just didn't go swimming.
I thought dds cough had gone but seems to have come back with a vengeance would I be unreasonable AFTER telling mil that dd seems well enough for swimming this week to tell her she can't take her again?
Dp fell out with his df last week & I'm worried mil will feel I'm taking sides/ punishing her (she does get upset about these tgibgs) if I say no to swimming this week.
Can 2 year olds go swimming with a cough? I'm not sure if I'm being ott.
Dp fell out with his df over our dd causing clutter in his house with toys & basically fil expresses that he felt we were dirty people who trash his home so now dp doesn't want dd round there when he isn't because he remembers his df ways when he was little regarding "mess" & said it really stuck with him and doesn't want dd subjected to it, so now I can't even tell mil to take dd for the afternoon instead of swimming!
Long ramble of confusing and probably unnecessary info but didn't want to "drip feed".

If your MIL says she'll have your DD at her house, couldn't you just ask her if she thinks that to be a good idea, as FIL has appeared to get very annoyed when DD is there, and you don't think it is good for anyone? there must be other indoor things she could do. Not all soft play is stressful. How about the library? Or is there a local museum etc?

I sounds like you like and get on well with MIL. Does she realise how upsetting FIL's behaviour was for DH? In an ideal world you'd talk to her about that. Is it possible for her to send FIL out for the afternoon? Maybe send him on some errands or to play golf (or whatever he does?).

Alternatively maybe you could treat her to an afternoon out somewhere like a city farm, or go for lunch, rather than the purgatory that is soft play?

But, if DD is well in herself, I don't think swimming will do her any harm.

Think you need professional child care. Your fil doesn't want dd there making a mess. It's partly his house so fair enough.

Your mil seeks stuck in the middle like you too.

You need to listen to your dh and get proper childcare.

This isn't fair on anyone least of all your dd.

My dad goes to nursery and has a childminder! Mil asks to take dd when I'm not working etc because she wants to see her, it's not because I need childcare. We pay for that.

My dad really doesn't go to nursery or have a childminder! Ha! My dd does though, that makes more sense doesn't it?

Some days I think my dad could do with a childminder.

How about a library visit instead?

Your FIL is an idiot.Who on earth complains about a 2 year old's toys < scans toy covered living room with 18 month old DGC sitting in the centre >. Best to have a word with MIL and let her know how awkward the situation is and let her deal with grumpy bum grandad.

Sounds like its your FIL that needs the childminder, one that enforces the Naughty Step ideally

I wouldn't send her swimming if she's not well either, I think it would be totally reasonable of you to ask mil not to take her. Is there any particular reason that mil must have her this week? If you aren't working couldn't you make something up that you are doing with dd instead this week? However you get out of it this time though, it's just a quick fix as you probably know. If dp doesn't want dd at his parents without you and this is something that mil expects to happen then you're going to have this issue again and again. If dp really feels that way going forward then he probably needs to let his mum know...!

I think I'd ask her opinion what MIL doesn't like being asked for advice?
"DD doesn't seem on top form again, what to you think MIL?". You can have a discussion together and go from there.
Soft play will be as strenuous as swimming, the library sounds a better idea.