You massive Shit Head

[HoundoftheBaskervilles]

Fuck me, I need to vent about this, so apologies, in advance, for the rant, RIGHT (& there's a huge back-story here as to why I'm a pissed-off person).

My husband (Gawd love him & I fucking do) is a humongous twat, it's a long tale, a whole other thread, BUT, rest assured, he's engineered a situation that leaves us in a very fucking precarious position, the fact is, we're here.

Sooo, one of my BFF's Dad died just after Christmas, he'd been ill for a long time but it was still horrid, as all deaths are, she was there as he went, I've been there to help & support & she had a ridiculous quote for the catering for the funeral, I do some catering, not much, it's just for friends, so I offered to do the catering for a much reduced price at her Dad's funeral which she was very happy to accept.

And then? Dh's Uncle dies, very suddenly last week. He was not close to his family, his father buggered off when he was four, he met his cousin for the first time over Christmas (when I was entertaining his five half siblings & partners & children PLUS their Mum - his Dad's second wife - for a week, they're not British so came over to visit), anyhow, they weren't close.

The crux of this very complex matter IS, (if you've seen my posts in The Doghouse) we have a new puppy, when I knew I was having to do the catering for my friend's funeral I was phoning up about day-care for the pup, I can't cater & cook with him there, as with all Pups, he's very demanding, My Husband stopped me & said he would do it and I SAID 'WILL YOU NOT BE GOING TO YOUR UNCLE'S FUNERAL??? & He said no.

And last night, the night before I have to do my catering & his Uncle's funeral? He's going, no child care, no dog care, he's fucking going. At 7am tomorrow. And I have no fucking recourse. I have to suck that shit up & get on. Because that's HIS FUCKING FAMILY.

Brilliant.

I would be very unhappy in that situation too, he's left you with NO support, even though you'd discussed arrangements?

You dont have to suck it up. You can say "I feel very let down, you said you'd watch the kids/puppy while I prepped catering for X people at BFF's dad's funeral. If you go, it will be SO much harder for me to get it all done. We talked about this. You changing your mind at the last minute really isn't on."

I'm assuming this means he will be going out of the UK for said funeral?

Sorry to hear about bff's dad and your hubbys uncle (even though they werent close).

Do you know why he's suddenly changed his mind and left you in the lurch? Any way he can take kid/s with him?

As for puppy can a friend/relative help?

Sorry about your situation OP but your writing style did make me smile. What a tosser!

No doubt someone will be along to say YABU as it's a family funeral however as you'd discussed arrangements and he's changed them at such short notice he's really got no excuse.

YANBU!

Then if he's going he'd better find a dogsitter to take over his job. Or maybe not bother to come back, eh.

YANBU

I might be throwing the cat amongst the pigeons here, but now that he's met some of his extended family it could be that he somehow feels 'obligated' to go? He may not want to feel like he's letting them down having only just united with them. It's just a thought.

But you have every right to feel aggrieved, it is inconsiderate at the last minute

Funeral is in the UK, 1.5 hours from where we live, it's at 10am, sooooo, he'll be back some time in the late afternoon, probably 5pm realistically.

His priapic father buggered off when he was four and married a woman (who is lovely) in Holland, he has four Dutch half-siblings, plus partners and children. His father then buggered off again with a woman he met over the internet. Who lived in Florida. Fab. Great.

His father's brothers were similarly louche. He never met his cousin until last week,

It wasn't last week, it was over Christmas. Sorry.

Biggest winner was when he met his father again after 12 years. The best way his Father could envisage a Father-Son bonding scenario was through the medium of a prostitute - twos-up, thankfully DH, even as a sixteen year old desperado who wanted nothing more than his Father's love, could see this was a Very Fucking Bad Idea.

Where are you based? Could a MNetter dog lover help you out?

Welsh/Hereford borders AdaraJames.

Hmm way too far for me to help, maybe post request in doghouse?

Will do AdaraJames.

Wish I lived near you, can't think of anything I'd like better than a day with your puppy. There's also the Borrow My Doggy site.

Borry My Doggie looks brilliant Gretna. If I'd signed up a month ago.

Oh OP! How stressful.

If you lived near to me, and it was my day off, I'd happily have your kids over, I'd be happier still to borrow your puppy, and I'd even ring your DH's neck for you into the bargain.

You'll get through it somehow. You sound like a brilliant friend, although I know none of that helps.

I wasn't being an arse there by the way Gretna.

Thanks Misfitless, I'd cheer you on for all of that.

I don't have any though.

We own a brewery.

That's a whole other story of idiocy.

He has sure left you in the lurch, hasn't he? Has he explained why he has left his decision so late without the possibility of you making arrangements for the pup? Very unfair!

Foxglove - NO - Nothing.

So he's said nothing? Have you asked him WTF you're supposed to do? He can't just say 'nothing'!

Oh OP, I'm from the Hereford/welsh border too but unfortunately I've moved away so can't help. And ironically I've got a funeral to attend as well.

Tell him to take the pup/children with him. You asked him to deal with them, he has to deal with them

I think I may take the option I took as a girl whenever a situation occurred that there was no answer to, which was to hide under my bed whilst balefully staring out until the bastards fucked off & then poping out and sorting the shit out.