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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my work should have sent a bunch of flowers

59 replies

Mammanat222 · 27/01/2015 15:42

Had a baby last week.

I know it sounds really grabby but when colleague had baby in September I was tasked with ordering her flowers. Literally the moment colleagues email announcing her new arrival I was handed the co. credit card and asked to order flowers (given budget of £50)

It's my 2nd baby / ML, but I have been with co. for almost 15 years.

I wouldn't expect a collection but I would expect the same as my colleague?

AIBU to be a little disappointed?

OP posts:
KnackeredMerrily · 27/01/2015 16:33

Angels - I'd buy a bunch just to go and beat them all with it. Horrible fuckers

Flowers
Runningupthathill82 · 27/01/2015 16:33

I didn't even get a proper goodbye when I left for mat leave - hardly anyone was in the office, and those that were working that day just said "see ya" as if I'd be back in the following day.
No card or present or anything - but did I give a toss? No. I never even thought it was the norm til I read about mat leave gifts etc on here.
Maybe working in newspapers is very different to the norm though!
I think YAB a bit U. There's more important things to worry about.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 27/01/2015 16:34

Yanbu. I got flowers when DD was born but my colleague got nothing and her DS was born a week later. I always felt bad for her.

kbbeanie · 27/01/2015 16:37

No YANBU at all. Before i had my ds i worked for a very well known company. Everyone always got a collection after a baby...however for some reason or other (i think it was because i had to leave on maternity earlier due to ill health...they werent happy about this) i got absolutely nothing !
I didnt even get a text from anyone to acknowledge i had him even though they knew straight away. And when he was a week old i got a package from them. There wasnt even a single sentence of congratulations just my return to work date and all the terms and conditions of my contract in reems of paper.
Needless to say i didnt go back there at the end of my maternity leave !

Chilicosrenegade · 27/01/2015 16:41

First babies only usually. Lest at every london firm I've ever worked at

OnlyLovers · 27/01/2015 16:42

Another one against the grain: YAB a bit U. It relies on someone remembering and organising, and people aren't necessarily always going to do that. Or maybe they only tend to do flowers for a first baby?

Threeplus1 · 27/01/2015 16:43

I think what the OP finds upsetting runningupthathill is that mat leave/baby birth gifts from colleagues is the norm where she works, but she's been left out. If it wasn't the done thing fine, but if she's helped organise these things for other colleagues, it's NU for her to have though the same would be done for her

zippyandbungle · 27/01/2015 16:45

I didn't get any with dd1, then realized it was always me who sorted it for others births, marriage, death. I made sure that someone else took a bit of responsibility when I returned.

wobblebobblehat · 27/01/2015 16:50

YANBU

When we got married, I didn't receive a thing (not even a card). Wouldn't mind, but most of them knew DH as we'd all worked at another company. Second day back in the office my boss asked I could order some flowers for one of the guys whose wife had just had a baby (her second or third). I handed my notice in a day or so after that.

Some people are thoughtless.

BackforGood · 27/01/2015 16:50

diddl - Am glad it's not just me who thought Shock at the company buying something, rather than colleagues chipping in, and even more so Shock Shock at spending 50 on flowers. think I've been working for the public sector too long Grin

As someone else said upthread, I think these things (organising flowers / gift) tend to be no-one's 'job' (unless it's very different in your company Wink) and if you were the one in the office who tends to get round to doing it, nobody else gives it a thought - they just assume someone will.

Bambambini · 27/01/2015 16:52

Was already to say you were unreasonable , but reading your list - no, not nice to treat you differently.

IrianofWay · 27/01/2015 16:52

Our company wouldn't arrange anything unless a long-stanging employee was leaving, or retiring. Gifts and cards etc tend to get organised by their fellow (female) employees - hence I won't be getting a card for my 50th next month as I work entirely with men Grin

squareheadcut · 27/01/2015 16:52

I didn't expect anything because they gave me so much flowers and pressies when I got married a year earlier. But it was so touching when they did send me flowers and card which were so lovely. I was really moved that they thought of me even though I wasn't there.

peaz · 27/01/2015 17:00

When my dad died I got nothing. A few weeks later the person who designed our website had a baby. We hadn't met him or his wofe, yet we were asked to contribute to flowers and a present.

OOAOML · 27/01/2015 17:03

And did you peaz? Bit cheeky when you don't even know them/probably wouldn't recognise them in the street.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/01/2015 17:10

Is it because it's your second baby, congratulations by the way Flowers

RitaOrange · 27/01/2015 17:10

I think the person who said if you are generally "The Organiser" then often you are overlooked is right!

It does rely on someone remembering and quite frankly I am sick of trying to drum up more than £3.50 out of 60+ people Hmm

RitaOrange · 27/01/2015 17:11

£3.50 total - not each!

WeatherWatchingWitch · 27/01/2015 17:12

YANBU. It needs to be the same for everyone to avoid causing offence. Congratulations Thanks

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 27/01/2015 17:12

Last time they had a collection for me. So people were contributing out of their own pocket and I completely understand people not wanting to do so again. In fact I'd be embarrassed.

However as I said when my colleague had her baby I was immediately tasked with getting her an expensive bunch of flowers, paid for by the company. I know this as I was the one who ordered the flowers on the company credit card.

I kind of expected the same? I know that sounds really bad but I've been with the co for so long and even though its second baby surely its still polite for my co. to acknowledge this. It would have been my team that would have ordered the flowers (we get lumped with all that crap)

I emailed to let them know baby had arrived and I got a reply from the people I emailed.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 27/01/2015 17:16

When it's the person who always does it that the flowers should be going to there is a problem!

Goodmum1234 · 27/01/2015 17:17

Angels and mamman

Flowers Flowers xxx

PrettyLittleMitty · 27/01/2015 17:17

Give them time, bet you get some flowers in a week or so when somebody finally realises that nobody's done it. Congrats Flowers

egnahc · 27/01/2015 19:58

The company pays?

Is it a private owned company? I think most shareholders of public companies would be pretty annoyed to be funding flowers for employees and in the public sector an absolute no (misuse of public funds)

WastingMyYoungYears · 27/01/2015 20:23

Aw, it is rubbish when this happens. I don't think it's deliberate though, it's just unthinking.

I didn't get a card or flowers from my work when my Dad died. But then I was subsequently asked to contribute to a card and flowers when someone else's Dad died Confused.