AIBU to put 3mo in cot while I make lunch?

[QueenGeraldine]

I'm not being silly, this is a genuine question. I'm a first time mum and I'm not really sure what I'm doing! Until my LO was about 6wks I generally just had a biscuit about 3pm cos I couldn't get away from her, but since then she has been amazing at napping and I have been able to look after myself and get things done. However, this week it all seems to have gone to pot, she won't nap and is overtired. I put her in the cot while I took 15mins to make my lunch, meaning to get her out if she hadn't dozed off by the time it was on the table but she was grizzling straight away and got onto full blown screaming after 5 mins. So she thinks IABU! I know she isn't hungry or wet btw, and she didn't want to take her dummy.

(I've got her out and she is next to me in her bouncy chair now, in case you think I have left her to scream!)

YY WorraLiberty My right leg has way more muscle definition than my left!

And absent mindedly rocking a trolley full of shopping back and forth in Asda!

Thank you everyone, you are making me feel like not such a bad mother!

WorraLiberty Yes, so true, I go to bed wondering why one of my legs is so much more knackered than the other!

She has a cot mobile, but she finds it very very exciting so it often causes more problems than it solves.

Bubbalou and others, I was basically holding her all the time for the first six weeks, yes, either bouncing/rocking or feeding, but then she got loads better. I think I might be expecting a 13wk old to have inner resources though, which isn't going to happen! Can't she entertain herself for a minute?! I'm looking forward to when she gets into her toys (surely that must be soon!)

Put her in her baby bouncer and let her watch you make dinner, or put her on her play mat (if she has one) so you can see her while you make dinner. Cot/baby bouncer is useful if you need the loo or a shower too.

When she's more mobile, rolling over and sitting up - you can sit her in her high chair so she can watch you make dinner. I used to put my Dd in her cot she I got showered as I could sing to her.

Metalguru that is such a brilliant idea! I am definitely nicking that, I think DD would love it

And don't self flagellate if you have to pop her in front of the TV for 15 mins as a last resort, while you make lunch.

If it calms her down and you get a bit of lunch in peace, it's worth every minute.

bouncy chair! she's safe and happy and can see you, your hands are free to do things.

I didn't mean it in a funny way.

Just a bit at the thought of people who carry round their baby for every minute of every day. Surely that's only going to lead to a clingy baby?

Don't mean that in a funny way either. Just a genuine question. As long as like you said they're not hungry, wet or unwell and they're safe why not put them down?

Do you therefore hold her the whole time she's sleeping?

I just can't comprehend how you get anything done.

Worra I still rock the trolleys in supermarkets.....get some right funny looks

Have you got a playpen? Or travel cot?You could put it up in the kitchen so she can see you while you get things done or just a bouncy chair with things/mobile attached.

OP, dd4 is just a couple of weeks younger. Bouncy chair in the kitchen watching me or in the sling is what I do. Or under her play gym if she's happy. Not getting food isn't an option as I need to feed the other dc!

Bubalou, have you got any children? I don't get much done is the answer! It doesn't make babies clingy to be held all the time though, research shows that they are more settled, breastfeed better and are more independent later if they know you're always there when they need you and can separate from you on their own terms. I don't hold dd every minute of the day and she is getting to an age where she needs to kick about on the floor as well but I do hold her or carry her in a sling most of the time. The sling is the only way I get anything done at all!!

I have 3 dc. I used to swap them between bouncy chair, playmat, Moses basket. Put in one, they get grouchy, swap to another. When they were in any of these places, I ate, went to the toilet and did household jobs.

I also don't understand how you can just sit all day cuddling a baby. Not that it wouldn't be wonderful but surely you need to put a wash on or iron something etc or your houses would be chaos especially if you have other dc's.

OP. You must eat. Just because you are now a mum shouldn't mean you stop taking care of yourself.

My DD hated the bouncy chair but loved her bean bag. It went on the kitchen table with her either sleeping or sat up at an angle watching me while I cleaned the kitchen, made food, etc. Had a blanket between her and the bean bag so I could wrap her up and take her with me if I left the room. Health visitor was happy with it as she was always supervised.

Metalguru - I use that tactic in the bath now! Too big for a bath seat, too curious to stay still, not mobile enough to keep her head above water if she reaches for things. So, strategic baths together It also means I have time for baths.

I would avoid using the cot as a general playpen/holder because you want them to associate it with sleep. Can you use a bouncy chair or something?

Never really understood how people get housework done with a baby in a sling, TBH. I suppose people have ways of making it work, but I could never get it to work at all. You can't really cook with a baby on your front (dangerous) and stooping/bending is super awkward, and unfortunately most forms of housework involve lots of stooping and bending. And I hated having T-Rex arms. By the time my baby was old enough to put on my back (4mo), she was beyond the wanting-to-be-held-constantly phase anyway.

When she was tiny, I just used the bouncy chair and resorted to doing everything in 3 minute bursts because she would wail to be picked up after a minute or so in the chair.

(May I say thank you to MetalGuru for taking me straight back to the seventies with her username). As you were

I used to put my DC on a blanket on the floor next to the French doors. Looking out the window at the trees moving was quite interesting, apparently. Could you try that, unless you've got a dog or some other reason for not putting her on the floor?

Get yourself one handed food! Crisps, crackers, cereal bars,etc. This time will pass and you will be allowed to sit and have lunch again, till then mini cheddars are your friend

Yanbu to put her down to sleep however babies should always sleep in the same room as you due to SIDS even for daytime naps. Do you not have a Moses basket?

Little John - yes I do have children.

As I said to op I wasn't being funny and as a couple of other people have said they don't get it either.

Sorry but my brain can't get round the whole - holding the baby every second of the day thing if that is what the op is saying but she hasn't answered.

How do you know that babies that are held constantly are better at all those things?

My DS wasn't held all the time and he was a happy baby and a great sleeper and feeder sleeping through the night from 6 weeks onwards.

I cook with baby in the sling all the time, NewStatesman. We'd never eat otherwise! I'm just ultra careful of splashes and the stretchy sling pulls over her head anyway. It's a managed risk, like having a toddler helping. I often have both!

Housework with a sling - I'm talking a tidy up and a quick hoover rather than moving furniture and scrubbing skirting boards!

Bubalou, all children are different obviously. One of my four literally screamed if put down or handed to someone else even for a second. Another was happy to sit in a bouncy chair watching me. Both happy, well adjusted children now. It makes perfect sense to me that babies will feel secure when their need for closeness is met and then feel confident to explore on their own terms.

I put DS in his Baby Bjorn facing in to make lunch. It kept him calm as I could chat to him.