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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with my manager and my direct report?

14 replies

LollyLondon · 27/01/2015 13:03

One of my direct reports has emailed me "FYI" a note about a global talent search for "future directors, senior managers and leaders of the future".

This is being run by our company globally. The note informs her that she has been chosen to participate in the selection process which will involve 4 trips overseas for various assessment exercises.

It is a very big deal to be selected for something like this and she is an extremely ambitious person and shrewd corporate player. She is very keen to leapfrog over me and report directly to my manager (which my manager is aware of and thinks is amusing). He has joked about a "Single White Female" scenario and her looking pissed off when my manager and I are in meetings together!

Anyway, I knew nothing about the talent search, let alone that she has been nominated, so I asked HR about it. Apparently, my manager nominated her.

Shouldn't he have told me/discussed it with me first? I am very annoyed and feel like I have been excluded from this. Surely it is directly relevant to me as her manager? Or AIBU?

[And, yes, I do feel threatened by her. And my (male) manager loves female attention and my direct report is very effective at flattering him....]

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2015 13:10

He probably should have mentioned it but I'm not sure why you think he should have discussed it with you first?

You describe her as extremely ambitious and a shrewd corporate player, so she sounds like an ideal candidate.

I'm not sure what you're getting at with the female attention/flatter thing? Are you saying that this was the only reason she was nominated by him?

If so, it kind of contradicts how you have described her.

flowery · 27/01/2015 13:11

Well yes it is a bit off for him to nominate her without discussing with you, yes, as a courtesy. What difference would it have made him telling you first though? And why are you annoyed with her about it?

AMumInScotland · 27/01/2015 13:18

It would have been a lot more polite of him to mention it to you when he nominated her. But since he is happy to 'joke' about a colleague - which you seem to have no problem with - I'm not sure why you're surprised that he isn't always as polite and tactful as you might hope for.

You and he share a joke about her. You are now miffed that he and she have something shared which excludes you. I understand, but I don't think you come off all that well from this either.

Optimist1 · 27/01/2015 13:24

A perfect summary of the situation, IMO.

passthewineplz · 27/01/2015 13:45

No. As she's your direct report he should have discussed it with you, and the logistics about the impact of the opportunity and her absence on her workload.

I would also try to gain control of your line management role, she keeps bypassing you to go to higher management - at some point this could mean senior management may feel your job role isn't needed. I.e whats the point in your role if direct reports are effectively managed by higher management?

It sounds like neither of them respect your position in the company. So is speak to your boss and ask him to direct her to you in future and reiterate this to her in her 1-2-1's with you.

i'm so glad I'm out of that environment - office politics such arse! I really empathise with you!

Original poster

LollyLondon · 27/01/2015 14:03

Thanks all - much appreciated. I hadn't realised before how difficult it is to explain the context in these AIBUs!

I shan't bored you all with the details, but basically I am more annoyed at him, than her. This has a direct impact on workload in the team and will lead to others asking why they have not been nominated. I should not be put in a position where my direct report "informs" me of something that I should already have been aware of. Fortunately, she emailed me rather than mentioned it in passing (I would have no idea what she was talking about)

It's a pretty complex situation, but my manager has recently been promoted to his position and thinks its amusing that people who pay him any attention before (my direct report included) now worship the ground he walks on. The "Single White Female" thing is him trying to wind me up I'm sure (it's a mad place, I tell you!).

OP posts:

TranquilityofSolitude · 27/01/2015 14:05

In many organisations it's normal for talent management not to be the responsibility of the line manager, but of the line manager's manager.

That said, he should have told you he was nominating her. That's just courtesy.

LadyLuck10 · 27/01/2015 14:09

You were happy to make fun of her behind her back with the manager so now it's come back around. If you had an issue with her, should you not as her manager discussed it with her. It seems like she is a real go-getter and has been recognized for it.

passthewineplz · 27/01/2015 14:10

It's also normal for some companies to get rid of job roles they think aren't needed.

I worked for a company where on paper we all reported into senior management - however it wasn't uncommon for them to do restructures and make job roles redundant...

passthewineplz · 27/01/2015 14:14

My point is OP - I'd speak to her and ask her to come to you first in the first instance for any work related matters, and speak to your boss about directing her to you in future, unless it's something she's spoken to you about and the issue needs escalating.

OfaFrenchMind · 27/01/2015 14:23

passthewineplz yes, but only on work related things.
However, for trainings, talents research and such, it's perfectly understandable that she directly goes to the bigger boss, as they are less likely to slow them or even stop them.
She was savvy to go to the manager, as OP may have been likely not to nominate her to ensure her work would go smoothly, or to be "fair" to the other colleagues , or even she would not have the power to get her in. She has to think of herself first with this kind of programs, as they are quite exclusive.
She just needs to inform her direct manager when it is coming along.

Original poster

LollyLondon · 27/01/2015 14:24

Exactly TranquilityofSolitude, it's the lack of courtesy I'm annoyed about.

Lady Luck - no, I didn't make fun of her. My manager has teased me about the SWF thing but that is a whole other issue (e.g. he fancies himself as a bit of a Wolf of Wall Street unfortunately!).

Passthewine - yep, same here. I would be delighted if they'd make my role redundant , but it doesn't look likely....

OP posts:

passthewineplz · 27/01/2015 14:46

Lol! Well in that case hun, have a glass of wine this evening / everything will seem so much better after that

DoJo · 27/01/2015 15:47

I can't really see what she has done wrong (other than generally annoy you by existing! ) but I think your manager should have mentioned to you that he was going to nominate her. Is it the kind of thing she would have had to ask him to do, or did he do it off his own bat as it were?

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