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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave my job that I hate

25 replies

Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:10

I've posted before about my job, think the thread got deleted. Basically it is a tiny family company with only me working for it in the office (I am not family). To cut it short or I would be here all day typing this, I don't think where the office is is even legal to work in, lots of things are missing from files of other workers, they could be illegal. I get bullied by one of the bosses. She is always interfering in my work and is clueless about it herself. She is only a boss because of her relationship to the main boss.

Example - phone rings and I answer and ask their name and they are calling about a job opening. Boss is at side of me asking where are they from, who is it, what do they want. I'm on the phone so can't answer her! Then she says oh give it here, and takes the phone from me without letting me finish the call myself which I am more than capable of. An email might come and she asks who from, I say X. Then she will say oh Y? No it's X. 10 min later she wil ask what happened to that email from Y? Y never emailed, it was X and I already sorted it out like I told her before! She doesnt work in the office or for the company at all really, just pops in to interfere

She also always lies constantly. I am sick of her bullshit lies. Like oh there is a job with X amount of people starting on Monday. We have never had a job that large. I phone the other boss and ask about it and he has no idea what I am talking about

I took a day off sick and when I come back I am told by her that her and other boss are very angry at me and it's not acceptable. Then I hear her on the phone to the other boss and him saying that he is pissed off with me. They are very casual swearers which I am not, and so when I do anything wrong their unhappy response always has a lot of swearing in it - I don't really do anything wrong though. They will ask why isn't X done but they never told me to do it or told me that it existed and I phone the boss every morning asking if anything specific needs doing

I don't want to go into too much detail because it could out me, but I am fed up of being lied to and fed up of her interfering that distracts me from work. Sometimes she will just come and sit next to me and watch me in silence which is very off putting and uncomfortable. I have social anxiety and feel that I can't say no when she asks me to do things - like send personal emails from her account or come back to work for an hour in the evening when it isn't needed

She has also lied about herself and her family having certain very bad illnesses and will come and make fake phonecalls next to me in the office about her personal problems. There is never anybody on the other end of the phone, she stages them which must be for attention as I can't understand why else she would do it sitting right next to me for no reason. Also the office was closed during the holidays. I am an employee and was not paid for it. I think I was meant to be? But they deny it and I darent challenge it

I've also recently been diagnosed with depression and I feel that a big factor is because of this job. I dread going to bed at night because I know I'll have to wake up to come to work to be lied to and complained at again. I would feel very uncomfortable telling her I want to leave, though she always threatens me with it, she will never find anyone else who puts up with this like I have done. I don't even have a contract so won't have to give notice will I? Can I just leave on Friday and send a letter of resignation and not have to see her again? I know I will chicken out if I say it on the phone or to her face

My DP has a decent job and the money from my job is just extra, it isn't needed as such. I would look for another job straight away but I really can't stand to work another week here. AIBU to quit on Friday?

OP posts:
Lunastarfish · 27/01/2015 12:14

If you can afford to not have the job. Just quit!

Nancy66 · 27/01/2015 12:15

just leave.
the job sounds horrendous, the people horrible and it's making you miserable and ill. Life's too short. Have a break, feel better and then look for a position within a nicer, more professional outfit.

QueQuesto · 27/01/2015 12:17

I'd leave if you don't need the money. Can you get a sick line for your depression to cover your notice period?

imgoodatpointless · 27/01/2015 12:20

you will be expected to account for your time there though... on your cv i mean.

If you say any of this to a new employer, they might not be quite on your side. Id say.. i need something a little more challenging.

good luck id be gone like a shot, but not before id collected enough evidence about these mysterious employees!

Wellwellwell3holesintheground · 27/01/2015 12:20

Is this the job where you have to hide from officials?

PausingFlatly · 27/01/2015 12:23

Are you the person who was working in an office shed in the employers' garden, and they told you to hide when HMRC or someone came round?

If you're still there, leave leave leave. Don't tell them in advance, just leave.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 27/01/2015 12:24

YANBU to quit. Sounds dreadful but...am assuming you will not need a reference for next job. Will you leave it off any future job applications when asked about previous employment?

Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:25

Hah yes that is me. I had tried to leave before but they persuaded me back and I am always too awkward to say no. It seemed to have got better but now her constant interfering etc is driving me crazy. If I leave on Friday and send a letter will that be ok? I can make it til Friday and then I'll also get paid before I leave. I doubt they'd give me a reference anyway but my CV will look awful if nobody can get a reference - previous job I had wouldn't give reference either due to their policy

OP posts:
PausingFlatly · 27/01/2015 12:27

These twats are hardly likely to give a good job reference.

Call HMRC (or CQC, or whoever is relevant) as soon as you've left, then tell any future possible employers that you left your previous employer when they were under investigation by HMRC. That will say more than enough.

SolomanDaisy · 27/01/2015 12:29

Just quit. Do it by sending an email if you think it will be too hard in person. You're not desperate for the money and they're making you ill.

Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:31

Ok - definately leaving on Friday and not coming back. I feel so relieved already. In the back of my head I was just thinking what a loss of money it will be and staying because of that. We can survive off DPs wage but it might be a bit tight - I don't think I can get Jobseeker's Allowance etc for a certain amount of weeks if I have left a job of my own accord

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/01/2015 12:32

I would be really tempted to leave when they say I should - call their bluff and just put my coat on and go. That would teach them a lesson.

I'd also be on the phone to the tax authorities the minute I left, too.

JamNan · 27/01/2015 12:36

OP You will feel so much better after you have left. Quit.

Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:37

I've imagined doing that every time imperial, I am just not brave enough Grin

OP posts:
Summerisle1 · 27/01/2015 12:37

Just leave. If they are operating illegally you could also find yourself the wrong side of the authorities.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2015 12:39

I remember you. I can't believe you are still there.

ImperialBlether · 27/01/2015 12:40

It's not a matter of being brave enough. Tell us exactly what she says when she tells you to leave and we'll come up with a smart retort that would get you out of the office for good Grin

krystellie · 27/01/2015 12:43

Nobody deserves to be treated like that full stop. Let alone in the workplace. Your colleague sounds like a complete sadist.

Have you been there for long, Strawberryyjamm? Is there anyone senior in the company that you could rely upon for a decent reference? I left a job after a few months due to the bullying/sexist/racist... attitude of the boss, but as my work was extremely good, another senior person said she would write my reference, if required.

If not, you can always be honest and if asked at a future interview why you left, explain it was due to bullying. That will deflect any questions away from you. Especially if the rest of your CV is good.

I bet you will feel 1000 times better if you leave, as it's clearly having an impact on your mental health. Especially so if you're not desperate for the money.

Good luck!

TheTravellingLemon · 27/01/2015 12:45

strawberry I left a really well paid job because it was making me depressed and I was being treated badly. It completely changed our lifestyle as it cut our household income but over half. We had to pull out of the house we were buying and move to a smaller place in a less expensive area.

It was, without question, the best decision I ever made. We are all so much happier for it. I now have a part time job in a different field that a love and have absolutely no regrets. If you can make it work financially, I say do it.

Good luck. Life is short. Nobody on their deathbed ever said 'I wish I'd have stuck at that job I hated' Flowers

Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:47

I can't believe it either AF :( I did leave and they persuaded me back and gave me a small payrise and I am too wimpy/Not confident enough to say no. I am leaving for real and permanently this time, going to block their numbers on my phone too so they can't try that again

DP and my mum also supportive this time, before I think they thought I was being a bit OTT

OP posts:
Strawberryyjamm · 27/01/2015 12:49

There's nobody senior in the company, just me and the bosses so I think a reference is totally off the table, I think I'll still add the job to my CV, and just say I left due to bullying or personal reasons or something if asked. I've been here about 7 months now and it would look good on a CV as I've managed the (sometimes busy) office all alone

OP posts:
allypally999 · 27/01/2015 12:53

I could have written some of that as I was also working with a lunatic in a very strange environment - just left last week and feel better already - might even come off the anti-deps now - if you can afford it go for it! Grin

DeladionInch · 27/01/2015 13:04

Walk out. Now. Why torture yourself by staying? You owe them nothing.

And phone HMRC from your car.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 27/01/2015 13:07

Another one here who remembers the other thread. I agree you should leave. I have left jobs Ive hated before, Life's too short to spend 5 days a week somewhere making you unhappy. Leave and dont go back ever.

Im sure there will be other jobs somewhere that will give you a chance again.

Good luck

toffeeboffin · 27/01/2015 13:22

Just leave. Life is too short! Just don't go in, don't even tell them. They sound terrible.

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