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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if anyone has given their DC a surname of a family member/ friend?

37 replies

cottonhankie · 26/01/2015 22:16

rather than your own or dps? Or done something else which is considered non-traditional when deciding on your DCs last name? And what were your reasons?

Basically DH and I are considering giving our future DC my mums maiden name for several reasons - one of them being that we don't want to double barrell DC's name and neither of us wants to not pass on our name.

My mum's maiden is a lovely, non complicated surname (far nicer than either of ours) that has stopped since she and her sisters got married and changed to their DHs and we'd see this as a way of bringing it back and carrying it on.

Or would it cause too many problems do you think?

OP posts:

APocketfulOfSpondulix · 02/02/2015 23:02

"It just looks like there is something to hide when your ancestors trace their family tree."

That actually really appeals to me!

We all have different names, due to me not taking DH's name, and DC2 being born in a country where the naming 'format' is different. We've lived travelled all over the world and have never had problems. The last trip I took they checked visas to see that we all actually lived in the same country but that was it.

Concordial · 02/02/2015 23:16

Twitterwooooo, nothing to hide or weird about us.
It's just the way it is

UniS · 02/02/2015 23:18

DS has my family name as a middle name and DHs as a surname. Pretty common Scottish thing to do I believe

musicalendorphins2 · 03/02/2015 05:17

It just looks like there is something to hide when your ancestors trace their family tree.
I think you may mean descendants, since the ancestors are usually dead.

sportinguista · 03/02/2015 05:24

My DS has my former surname and DHs 2 family names ie. mothers maiden name, fathers name because that is how it is done in Portugal. Here they work as middle names, when we go through passport control we generally get approval that we've done this. Know of a lot of people who've double barrelled for various reasons so I think it's all down to choice especially if you've got a really cool surname you want to keep!

Original poster

cottonhankie · 03/02/2015 05:57

sportinguista thanks for your reply. Does your DS go by all his surnames (he has three if I've understood correctly)? Or just one.

OP posts:

SoonToBeSix · 03/02/2015 06:21

No that's a really strange thing to do. Don't you have your dh name? Give your ds that name.

mutternutter · 03/02/2015 06:55

I did this. Gave dcs a friends last name. On my own so can do what I like. Love it and no regrets

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 03/02/2015 10:02

Yes, we did for our children.

We did it at the request of my lovely grandmother who had researched her side of the family back 300 years so the surname went a way back. However the last few generations produced only girls the name was going to die out with her brother, so she asked if we would consider using it.

The children are XXXX(her maiden name) - YYYYY (DH's/my married name) It is hyphenated and I can assure you that they have had no problems with passports, banks, life stuff..and they are now aged 17-23 :) They like carrying the name too.. as it is somewhat unusual.

It does make us sound posher than we really are though My DD1 will graduate as a doctor this summer and I can't wait to write Dr XXX-YYYY on everything

strawberryowl · 03/02/2015 12:10

Do whatever you like with your own and your dc's name.

We have all sorts of names in our house. My oldest dd (from a previous relationship) is double barrelled (her father and me). I have kept my own name and so has DH, our 2 dc have my name and half of his double barrelled name. He chose the half he most identified with. His name is double barrelled because his parents added his paternal gm name to his father's original sur-name when they got married (the paternal gm name is the one DH kept). Doing it our way means the dc have part of their name in common showing they are siblings. They may drop a name as they get older; so be it. They may change all of the names we chose for them and that'll be their choice.

I have a (charming) friend who says double barrelled names are smug. I don't think so, I think it's an acknowledgement that children have 2 parents from 2 families and they are united behind these children and that seems to me a good thing for children.

People do all sorts of things with names and you should do whatever you want without any regard to what anyone else wants you to do or how hard it will be for descendants to make their family trees.

TooHasty · 03/02/2015 13:38

what does your DH think? people will think she is not his!

leedy · 03/02/2015 13:47

"what does your DH think? people will think she is not his!"

Friends of mine's DC have her surname. Nobody has ever thought they are not their dad's (not least because they look really like him). Similar to nobody thinking my kids aren't mine because they don't have my surname.

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