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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at not being successful in getting a job

49 replies

iammargesimpson · 26/01/2015 13:08

had a job interview Thursday. Got the email this morning saying unsuccessful. I am gutted. I have been looking for part time work since last September when my youngest ds started school, this was only my second interview. In a community/family centre doing admin part time, I would have loved it and been bloody good at it too. I've been tears all morning even though I spent the entire weekend telling myself I hadn't got it and I'll get something eventually, etc etc.

I have asked for feedback from the interview so I know where I'm going wrong.

I've applied for loads of jobs, retail, admin, cafe work, anything, most of them haven't even replied. Starting to wonder if it's my age, I'm 41.
This has really knocked my confidence, aibu to despair at getting part time suitable work??

OP posts:
Varya · 26/01/2015 13:11

Empathise with you, I was recently made redundant against my wishes. Job search, interview both hack me off bigtime. Good luck.

Cookiecake · 26/01/2015 13:15

It can be massively disheartening not getting a job, even if you convince yourself you haven't got it. I suppose you are taking it like a personal rejection but you cannot let this destroy your confidence. I love that you say you'd have been good at it, there just may have been someone who was slightly more suitable or who came across better at the interview.

It's a great idea to ask for feedback for future reference. I think the main thing is to keep applying and keep going for interviews. The more you do the higher the chance of getting one. At 41 you are not old, people start in an entirely new profession later in life than that.

I do appreciate that part time suitable work is hard to come by but you've just got to keep at it. Good luck

ArsenicFaceCream · 26/01/2015 13:18

YANBU. It's never much fun, is it?

I'm sure it isn't your age, though. Just one of those things. Asking for feedback was a good idea.

Anything else possible on the horizon?

FloatIsRechargedNow · 26/01/2015 13:18

Oh poor you OP it must be a confidence buster. I can't really offer any substantial advice but what about approaching some of the temping agencies? And here's some Cake and remember you have had 2 interviews which is better than no interviews and you haven't been searching too long yet and the xmas period puts a lot of things out of 'kilter' so don't be too demoralized.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 26/01/2015 13:20

I always feel that it is more than reasonable to ask for feedback if you have had an interview. You must be doing something right to get to that stage and the feedback should help you alter the little thing which held you back.

Jackieharris · 26/01/2015 13:21

Sorry about your news. I'm waiting to hear about an interview I had last week too. This was my 3rd interview. Was better than last 2 but I'm not getting my hopes up. It is a soul destroying process.

Do everything you can to keep your confidence up. That counts for a lot at future interviews.

SunshineAndShadows · 26/01/2015 13:25

Don't be disheartened OP - you got to interview which is great!
Interviewing well is a real skill. Did you make an effort to introduce yourself? Lots of eye contact, did you research the centre and its activities and were you able to speak knowledgeably about this? Do you have relevant skills and experience and did you link them to the kind of work the centre does?
In my experience interviews can be make or break, not because you don't have the skills (they wouldn't interview you if you didn't), but because of how you present yourself and your skills as relevant to the position.
Good luck!

sparechange · 26/01/2015 13:30

It probably isn't you, rather it is the huge number of applications they'll be getting for all part-time roles, often from people who are overqualified and 'cheap'.

Do you have someone who could take a look over your CV and the covering letters/emails to see if there is anything you could tweak to make yourself stand out a little? Would it be practical to do a bit of volunteering work in a related field (PTA, Charity Shop, community cafe?) to help signpost some relevant skills? Even being on an organising committee for a school event might give you the edge over someone without that sort of experience.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 26/01/2015 13:37

It is very frustrating isn't it, you may not have done anything wrong but these days so many people apply they can choose literally whoever they want. Better luck next time Thanks

Meloria · 26/01/2015 13:47

It's so difficult now even to get an interview so please don't take it personally. When I advertise for even the most basic admin role at work we receive so many applications that we are rejecting great candidates all the time. Keep trying and eventually you'll get there!

BigFatBabyBrain · 26/01/2015 13:53

dont take it personally please!

its good that you have asked for feedback so that you can be even better in your next interview. you have no idea who else they have interviewed, for all you know they could have interviewed the world champion admin. Its probably not that they interviewed you and thought you were shit and didnt want you, its probably that they just had someone that was more qualified/experienced.

YOU WILL GET THERE!

everything happens for a reason, good luck!!!!!!!! Thanks Wine

Original poster
iammargesimpson · 26/01/2015 13:55

Thank you all for your replies, I will allow myself today to wallow in self pity and then back to it tomorrow! I've done plenty of voluntary work in the past and have been employed either full or part time since I was sixteen, ran my own business for five years too so it's just a knock to my confidence :(

I am waiting to hear about local classes in doing interviews and have had my cv recently revamped by a professional. I do feel I have a tendency to babble in interviews (nerves) and suffer from the dreaded dry mouth!

Thank you all for the encouragement, onwards and upwards (tomorrow, after I get through a family sized bar of chocolate today)

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 26/01/2015 14:01

Oh I feel for you, I found out on Friday I didn't get a job I'd gone for, it's such a kick in the bloody teeth isn't it :(

Onwards and upwards!!! One thing I never used to do for interviews which I've started recently is taking in notes - if you're doing a competency based interview you can make notes of good examples you can give and take them in with you :)

Good luck!!

Scholes34 · 26/01/2015 14:07

The fact that you've had interviews shows that on paper you're employable. Once in the interview, it'd down to personality and the competition. On any other day you might have got the job. It's a big knock as you've done your best and it (seemingly) wasn't enough. Just keep at it. There's a job out there somewhere with your name on it and a whole bunch of new friends and colleagues waiting to greet you. I was third time lucky going back to work when my youngest started school, and that job was so much better than the other two might have been.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 26/01/2015 14:17

I've been out of work since not being made permanent in my admin/reception job in Aug 2013. Very big knock that was and I'm starting to wonder if I'm unemployable (at 32) :-(

concretekitten · 26/01/2015 14:28

Flowers sorry to hear this

I really do believe it fate and I'm sure an even better and more perfect job will come along soon.

Try and see the last interview as good practice.

Have you thought about volunteering? Family centres (and lots of other places) are always after volunteers and then when a paid job comes along you've got an advantage over other applicants.

Onwards and upwards hun x

hestialou · 26/01/2015 14:29

Sorry to hear didn't get the job and there are any number of reasons, including already having someone internally in mind for the role. My advice is to keep trying and if possible get someone to do practise interview with you. Also doesn't matter which role going for always dress smartly. I am accountant and have had people come to interviews in trainers and no tie, doesn't give a good impression. Good luck with job search xx

hestialou · 26/01/2015 14:34

Also a good question to ask at the interview is something like, "is there any specific skills you are looking for in the role which you don't think I have" one it shows confidence and two gives you a chance to say if you do have the skill or what you would do about gaining it.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 26/01/2015 14:43

Don't take it personally. I'm waiting to hear back after an interview I had last week. i was surprised at how nervy I felt - dry mouth, shaky, the lot Sad. Perhaps we should start a support thread for those of us trying to get back into work. I'm 41 and it's really hard, knowing that you could definitely do these jobs, but, for some reason, aren't getting them Confused. Onwards and upwards is the way to go, I think.

concretekitten · 26/01/2015 14:44

Employers seem to love seeing that you're interested in training, progression and personal progression.

My current employer loved that I was studying part time, even though the course was just for leisure and personal development.

Have a look at your local college to see if they're doing any free/cheap courses you can sign up for. It will probably help with your confidence too.

HighwayDragon · 26/01/2015 14:45

I had 3 interviews before landing my job, it was such a good boost after all the knock backs

m0therofdragons · 26/01/2015 14:48

I found out Friday I didn't get a job. Worse thing is the person who did will now be my boss. Haven't met them yet but they'd better be nice and respectfu, oh and good at the job. I understand why they were chosen (already doing the job elsewhere where as it would have been a promotion for me) but it doesn't make it damage my confidence any less. I've allowed myself a weekend of self pity and now moving on. Good luck xx

TheHobbit · 26/01/2015 14:53

Where are you based OP? I'm recruiting for an Assistant Admin Manager at a really nice country shop. The hours are flexible and twenty hours per week at £7.50 an hour. Suitable to work in school hours. Its a lovely little job with a great team. I'm situated in a village near Bath

liketohelp · 26/01/2015 14:59

I`m sure you will get a job soon.

You may not be "going wrong" at all - don`t assume you made any mistakes. Very often there are half a dozen candidates who are appointable, but they just have to choose one. It may be someone they already know, or someone who has done the exact same job before.

Also, the main thing is usually not so much about skills etc, but whether the candidate will fit in with a particular team - so it`s more about them than you.

I dont think its your age either. 41 is no age!

Best of luck.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 26/01/2015 15:03

I'm feeling rather unemployable at the moment too, so you have my sympathies.

Over Christmas I applied for and was interviewed for two different jobs at the organisation where I currently volunteer. I was actually approached by my boss to apply. Didn't get either of them.

Doubly gutting as one of them was the exact same job I was doing as a part-time job while I was at school. So that makes me less employable today (with all my experience and qualifications) than I was back then.

Still - onwards and upwards.