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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want a technology free bedroom?

23 replies

Applejack100 · 26/01/2015 12:59

my dh charges his iphone every night in the bedroom, during the week he generally does not use it in bed apart from weekends when he uses it in the morning as part of his lie-in. Never-the-less, i would still prefer not to have it in the bedroom at all, as i think there should be one room without the temptation to succumb to the internet, he thinks IABU - totally! and is very cross, any one else had this issue? also in general his phone is always in his hand or on his person

OP posts:

gamerchick · 26/01/2015 13:02

Like overnight? Bit of a fire hazard though.

InfinitySeven · 26/01/2015 13:03

I wouldn't leave my phone out of the bedroom. I like to have it around to use it.

But my bedroom (and house, in general) is as far from technology free as you can get. I've usually got my phone and iPad on me, my bedroom has a 42" TV, Sky box, Xbox, WD... There's usually a laptop in there too, along with DP's phone, and his tablet.

I suppose the compromise here is to let him have his phone, because there should be no temptation for you to use the internet on his phone, and ask him not to tell you about what he is doing/the news/anything that you are trying to avoid. You can't really demand that he doesn't use technology, because that is his decision to make.

Hatespiders · 26/01/2015 13:08

Ha! We have no signal at all in our village, and no street lights either. Result - silent and pitch dark bedrooms and it's bliss!

Dh recharges his stuff during the day and we don't have TV in our rooms either. Our hub thing (modem is it?) is turned off at night. I swear I know when it's on. I can sense it!

Original poster

Applejack100 · 26/01/2015 13:10

its not really a demand, its an opinion, i can't stop him, i just don't like it, i think modern technology can erode relationships

OP posts:

DollyMcDolly · 26/01/2015 13:12

I charge my phone overnight in my bedroom next to me. I put it on 'do not disturb' mode though so I don't hear any beeps during the night that might wake me up. I don;t see the big deal to be honest

Bowlersarm · 26/01/2015 13:12

I think YABU. I like to have my phone by my bed at night; its also my alarm clock.

I don't see why your wishes should trump his,,about something which is personal,,and belongs to, him.

Although I don't think it's wise to charge it overnight, it's a fire risk.

Nextwednesday · 26/01/2015 13:21

I am glued to my mobile and use my iPad a lot.

However I do agree that modern technology can damage relationships. The worst thing for my previous relationship was buying a laptop. Ex would spend hours on it day and night including in the bedroom, not engaging with anyone or anything. Whereas when we had a computer in a downstairs office, he was at least around and couldn't avoid family life as much.

Btw he was obsessed with a hobby-related forum not chatting up women (to my knowledge) and it still damaged things.

If he charges it in the bedroom, does it ping with messages? If so, YANBU.

kaykayred · 26/01/2015 13:28

I don't really see how you have any right to dictate which rooms he can and cannot bring his phone into.

I think this is generational thing. My partner charges his phone every night next to the bed and it's never even occurred to me that this would be considered abnormal.

You say yourself that it's not like he is using it all the time in bed or whatever. So what's the big deal?

Fudgeface123 · 26/01/2015 13:30

I use my phone as mine and my DP's alarm but I absolutely refuse to have a TV in the bedroom

Notso · 26/01/2015 13:34

DH charges his work phone next to the bed. He can't really charge it any other time.
It's a PITA the charger has a light on it, the phone lights up when he gets an email which is often, also he is expected to answer calls from 6 am.

However I like to have a phone in the room incase of emergencies and it is our alarm unless DS2 or DH's bosses wake us up first

fredfredgeorgejnr · 26/01/2015 13:42

Having a phone in the bedroom is a fire hazard? Isn't it more the reverse - not having a phone in the bedroom means you cannot call for assistance if trapped there via fire?

Neither of you trump the other, it seems odd to want it to me.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/01/2015 13:45

My DH not only has his phone charger by the bed, but also is in the habit of waking very early and wanting to read the news on his iPad, or something on his kindle. I OTOH prefer no tech at all, but like to do crossword or sudoku long after he wants the lights out. The simple solution for a long and happy marriage (esp as he snores too) is separate bedrooms for actual sleeping in.

gamerchick · 26/01/2015 13:52

No leaving your phone on charge overnight is a fire hazard I'm sure I've read.. its certainly not good for the battery.

googoodolly · 26/01/2015 13:55

We both have our phones next to us at night. I'm up at 5am for work so I use mine as my alarm, and DP has his charger plugged in by the bed too, plus he has his alarm set in case he oversleeps for work (he starts much later than me), and I would not appreciate being told I couldn't use my own phone in my own flat.

However, we don't have a TV in there and there are no tablets/laptops used in there either. And we do have technology-free meal times everyday, and ban phones from being used if we're out at dinner or wherever. Technology has its benefits BUT it can erode relationships and I think it's important to have technology-free time together if possible.

GaryShitpeas · 26/01/2015 13:57

Yanbu dh and I are both terrible for i phoning in bed

I'm sure we shag less since getting them

Original poster

Applejack100 · 26/01/2015 14:08

it all started when i showed him an article in the sunday times style section saying what a bad idea it was to have tech in the bedroom - i was trying to reiterate my point i guess, ie its not just me who thinks this, but judging by your responses i am beginning to feel perhaps it is, and i should rethink the whole thing - not that i was actually banning the phone - i do not have those kind of powers! i was merely expressing an opinion....

OP posts:

googoodolly · 26/01/2015 14:49

Maybe you could suggest some tech-free times? I don't think there's anything wrong with him charging his phone in there if it's convenient (I often charge mine overnight because I have no other chance to do it), but I don't use it in there really. Do you think he'd be open to that?

Original poster

Applejack100 · 26/01/2015 15:01

possibly although at the mo he is not really speaking to me

OP posts:

KoalaDownUnder · 26/01/2015 15:06

Fire hazard?! I had no idea.

My phone charges next to my bed every night because a) I live alone and it's a security thing, and b) it's my alarm. Oh, and I do like to read the internet at night if I can't sleep, but I recognise that's not really healthy.

I do agree with no other tech stuff in bedrooms though, especially no tv and laptops.

Original poster

Applejack100 · 26/01/2015 19:13

ultimately i think i may be pushing against the modern world, its not going to change so i may as well accept it i guess

OP posts:

Pixel · 26/01/2015 19:16

We have no tv, laptops or phones in the bedroom. There is lots of evidence that it's bad for you to have electrical equipment around while you sleep.

Be mindful of electromagnetic fields (EMFs) in your bedroom. EMFs can disrupt your pineal gland and its melatonin production, and may have other negative biological effects as well as well as lots of other nasty things according to this article for example (think this might be an american website but have read similar elsewhere).
Our phones are charged downstairs during the evening while we watch tv but not overnight.

We do have a cordless phone on the bookcase on the landing so hopefully that would suffice to call help in an emergency.

Pensionerpeep · 26/01/2015 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minus2seventy3 · 27/01/2015 10:05

Absolutely nothing wrong with charging a modern smart phone overnight, many even default to a night mode and prompt for alarm settings etc - doesn't damage the battery, nor does it constitute a fire risk with a type-approved, CE marked (doesn't have to be original manufacturer) charger. Obviously, avoid the knock-off "China Export" market stall specials!

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