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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask your thoughts on Jon Venables joining a dating site?

480 replies

Sallystyle · 26/01/2015 12:57

With his new name no one can do a google search on him and find his history.

He was found not long ago with images of child abuse.

Should he be able to get on with his life now he is out of prison? Of course he can just as easily meet someone in the pub.

I just had a debate with a family member about this so interested in your thoughts.

Link here

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/james-bulger-killer-jon-venables-5039227

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 26/01/2015 13:22

TBH if it was up to me he'd would've been imprisoned for life after the second lot of offences anyway so it's a moot point to me really.

I don't think as a society we should be giving indefinite chances to people who commit such serious crimes.

concretekitten · 26/01/2015 13:22

I've seen pictures online which I believe are of him, he has had to have his identity changed a few times as he keeps giving it away, maybe this is how the papers know it's him on the dating site? Because his picture is known?

I think for his safety he needs protecting, but I think women and our children need protecting more.

In some ways he's served his time so should now be free to live his life, but the fact that he has been caught with child pornography only a few years ago shows he is not reformed, and I'm sorry but I fear he never can be.
I think it's probably so screwed in the head he is past the point of ever being fixed.
If he was an animal we would have put him down without hesitation.

I just fear that it's just a matter of time before something terrible happens involving him.

CrispyFern · 26/01/2015 13:23

Why is he any different to other ex convicts on dating sites?

You can't ban someone from dating because they've been in prison. For any reason.
Men who have raped more than once are on dating sites. Men who have killed their own children, they're on dating sites.

Slow news day I suppose.

ArsenicFaceCream · 26/01/2015 13:24

If he was banned from internet use after the child abuse image debacle (conviction?) then he shouldn't be using the internet, full stop. But I do wonder how realistic that is.

More broadly; They were released around the age of 20, they were always going to want relationships (and settled relationships are good for the stability of ex-offenders, I think) but the simplest solution was always going to be child-free relationships and until they are middle aged, they will be meeting fertile women, some of whom are already mothers. It's a minefield, and where they meet people is the least of it.

I do seem to remember reading that Robert Thompson was gay, though, which might make the whole relationships business easier for him.

26Point2Miles · 26/01/2015 13:24

single mothers.....we have brains you know!! don't feel too worried on our part

its those parents who happily send their dc off on sleepovers who worry me more! you don't know the history of the mother,father,older siblings or any visitor to that house....'but the mum seems really nice we chat at the school gates' is the usual disclaime. JV (or someone like him) could be a visitor to that house,or an uncle.....who would know??

wishmiplass · 26/01/2015 13:25

Agree with Down.

Not picking up a pitchfork myself.

Don't see the merit in us discussing it really. Surely it goes without saying it's wrong/awful. But, we have to let services do their job.

Willow Could we please have a link to your statistical evidence?

StockingFullOfCoal · 26/01/2015 13:25

He shouldn't be out of prison full stop in my opinion, nor should the other. Life should mean life. Especially considering the nature of the crime and their age when they commited it. I dread to think what they are capable of now they are adults.

26Point2Miles · 26/01/2015 13:25

how can you ban someone from the internet lol! cheap pay as you go phones make it easy for him to get online undetected

JanineStHubbins · 26/01/2015 13:25

I think it's extremely irresponsible for that rag of a paper to publish a story like that. Just blatant fear-mongering. It's not illegal to join a dating site, regardless of what past convictions might be.

ArsenicFaceCream · 26/01/2015 13:26

Not all single mothers/mothers/people have brains 26.

The internet part is largely irrelevant though. It's a probation issue.

LisaTummy · 26/01/2015 13:27

Jamie Bulger was 2 not 5.

StockingFullOfCoal · 26/01/2015 13:29

Were they tried as adults? They certainly weren't sentenced as adults. There are people in prison for a full life term for crimes far less worse than what they commited.

PoppyField · 26/01/2015 13:31

Ditto about irresponsible newspaper. If they want a pitchfork-waving mob, they'll always get one on this subject.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/01/2015 13:34

Momb I almost thought that your post was directed at the death of James Bulger and his family, I was saddened to read it was for those 'two little boys' who murdered him. No Jon Venables is an adult now.

Hatespiders · 26/01/2015 13:35

They were sentenced to be detained until the age of 18. But their parole is lifelong, which means that any breach of the conditions could result in return to prison.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/01/2015 13:37

If I were on a dating site, I bloody hell would like to know if I was dating a child murderer and paedophile. Well hopefully he would reveal it to potential dates as he does blag quite a bit. Mabey they should stop bloody protecting him, and let him get on with it if he keeps doing this.

concretekitten · 26/01/2015 13:38

26 has a point tho...
I have 3 good friends who were sexually abused as children, one by her dad, one by her uncle (through marriage) and one by her BIL (he's about 13 years older than her).
They all happened in the girl's own homes. The police have never been involved in any of the cases, my friend's uncle did end up in trouble with the police about other child sex offenses and then when he died it came out that he'd been abusing his own son.
It goes on more than you realise and our children aren't as safe as we sometimes think.

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/01/2015 13:39

I dread to think what they are capable of now they are adults.
Well, we have no reason to suspect that Robert Thompson is capable of anything beyond leading a quiet and uneventful life - his caseworkers believe he has been successfully rehabilitated and has not offended again.

I agree it's all a bit pitchforky and fearmongering. There are plenty of dangerous men with a history of violent offending using online dating websites, as well as a lot of dangerous men with no criminal convictions and thus nothing to warn women away. On balance, I think Jon Venable's risk to vulnerable women and children is lessened by the very fact that, unlike many of the other potentially harmful men they might end up in a relationship with, he's closely monitored and restricted by certain conditions.

TheXxed · 26/01/2015 13:47

I guess this begs the question on whether or not you think a paedophile can be rehabilitated?

Personally I don't.

ilovechristmas1 · 26/01/2015 13:48

well he cant be that worried about getting caught if he was looking at pictures of children

i think he will do what the hell he likes,i really dont think he cares

MoanCollins · 26/01/2015 13:49

I think the problem with Venables is the unique position he is in because of his new identity and the fact that he committed his offences as a child.

I know that you can now vet partners criminal records to find out if they have convictions for sex crimes or domestic abuse which is a sensible thing to do and hopefully people would use.

But the problem with Venables is that I don't think that system might work the same way from him. He has a new identity and he is not linked to his past crimes, I'm not even sure if they would show up in a criminal records check, so a mother who wanted to check might be told he has no convictions because his convictions are attached to his old identity, not his new one. This is why the problem with him is unique, as normal processes may let him slip through the net.

Given how poorly supervised he was the first time he was released I think the public need reassurance that anybody who enters into a relationship with him will be made aware of the dangers he poses.

I think in some ways his treatment as frozen him in time as if he was still the child who committed the offences when he's not, he's an adult and a dangerous one and we can't as a society just carry on treating him like the victim when he is the danger.

Pengyquin · 26/01/2015 13:49

I worked with guy who had previously looked after him whilst he was in the offenders place. He said he was a very very twisted individual. Also, that what he did to the poor 2 yr old is beyond sick - a lot more to it than the information they released to the press (which was bad enough).

I don't buy the bs that he was only a child and didn't know what he was doing. At 10 he knew exactly what he was doing.

One very very dangerous individual imo.

wishmiplass · 26/01/2015 13:50

But we can't vet every household our children go into can we? I mean, it's just not feasible is it? Yes, child abuse happens, but let's not get into a froth about our kids going on play dates eh?

willow? Still waiting...

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 26/01/2015 13:53

Ignoring his first horrific crimes, and just focusing on his current spent time. I think all pedophiles and rapist should be barred from dating site all together.

ilovechristmas1 · 26/01/2015 13:54

yes i watched a programme last year about it and it said that their were details that were just horrific that were never made public

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