Have I missed something about the significance of a pushchair?

[Koalafications]

DH and I are expecting a baby. DM has offered to buy us a pram, we have gratefully accepted as money is a bit tight.

FIL spoke to DH last night and also offered to pay for a pram. When DH told me I reminded him that DM had already offered and we had accepted.

When DH spoke to FIL today he explained that DM had already offered. DH said that FIL was very quiet and seemed annoyed and said he would need to talk to MIL and discuss what else they could help us with. We are, of course, grateful for any help they give us. And we haven't bought anything yet so they can help with cot/moses basket etc.

I am just concerned that there is there something 'special' about a buggy and I have missed this?

Is it a significant gift for GP's to buy? I'm really confused but they seem to have taken it quite badly...

Violetta, flimmyflam He wouldn't appreciate a suggestion and it would fall on deaf ears if we suggested what we need.

I did think that yesterday flimmy so have asked DH and he said that FIL was asking what kind of pram we wanted so I don't think he has.

I would love for them to get us the cot bed but will have to wait and see what FIL decides on.

I'm out of date with prices for baby things but what about making a list of what you want need, OP, and letting your ILs choose.

Pram )
Pushchair ) There's a difference between these two
Cot plus bedding
Chest of drawers what's the matter with changing a baby on a bed?
Play pen
Car seat (for older child perhaps)
Fireguard - if you have an open fireplace
High chair
Savings account
Large premium bond (£100 min)
Clothes for new mother
No clothes for baby because everyone else will buy them

I hope my bracketed bits are shewn properly

Thank you Chicken. Yes they have a DD. So it's not that FIL won't get the chance to do these things in the future if SIL has a baby.

Thanks Happy

DH is going to phone FIL one night this week to see if he is still annoyed of if he is ok about it now.

Looks like baby stuff is as contentious as wedding stuff

I thought that it might be a generational thing too. My dad wasn't bothered but I think my Mum would have been if she was still with us. MIL&FIL were quite insistent that they would buy us the buggy and gave us a cheque for £200-we were incredibly grateful but we didn't have the heart to tell them how much our buggy eventually cost. I think her Mum bought her first buggy so it's traditional.
It does seem a bit when there are so many costs to get so hell bent on buying one in particular. There are plenty of expensive things to buy!!
Tread lightly though I think sometimes the Dad-to-be's family feel a bit pushed out. Maybe a shopping trip and lunch with the ILs to chose something else special????

Yes, Nicky I am trying to involve them in as much as possible so they don't get left out. We also have a lot of history of FIL's feelings being hurt (unintentionally). I'm really nervous of doing anything to cause upset.

Shopping trip and a day out is a good idea, thank you. Then DH and I can say "oh we like this..." and then it won't be a suggestion but at least FIL will have an idea about what we might like.

Never thought about GPs getting the essentials, I just asked them to knit. Not sure what big deal is on pram, its not like dc will remember it

Get one to buy the very expensive travel system that you'll use for six months and the other the Maclaren that you'll use for ever.

I'm hoping to stick with the travel system that turns into a pushchair Electric. I'm not too keen on the 'look' of the Maclaren style buggies. I know they are more practical though.

If it's only him that will make a thing of it, then why not casually mention to MiL that you will obv need a cot, and you were looking at cotbeds, etc, but will have to start saving for one, and let MiL suggest it to FiL, if he won't be pleased with suggestions from you and dh.

Why not adk for a good cot bec, mine cost lots, and lasted from when he outgrew the crib till 5 years old. So lots of use.

We bought our first travel system ourselves, but my parents bought us the cotbed we wanted - it was beech, rather than the flimsy pine that everything was over a decade ago, so nice and solid and it served both boys before we ebayed it in almost pristine condition, save a few gnaw marks.

Choose an expensive pram and let them go halves?

I have always thought that traditionally. The brides parents had paid for the wedding and the grooms parents later paid for the pram when the first baby arrived.

Maybe I'm wrong but if it is the tradition in some families it could be why FIL feels put out. Just explain that it was a lovely offer but maybe he could buy the cot instead.

I know we bought all the larger items ourselves. Relatives including both sets of GP bought clothes, toys and bedding.

Thanks all.

Saucy & nagy I've said a few times up thread that FIL wouldn't be happy about us suggesting anything, so sadly we can't say that we also need a cot bed.!

nagy I didn't know that, maybe it is a tradition for the IL's to buy it and that's why he has taken offence.