To Feel Sad after Visit To City?

[Hatespiders]

I expect IABU, but today was lovely and sunny so we went into Norwich for a bit of a jaunt. But there were so many sad sights I got very depressed. A poor chap was selling the Big Issue and he looked frozen and miserable. Gave him £1. A possibly Romanian man was sculpting a dog out of sand, looked hungry and miserable, gave him £1 too. Then some lovely youngsters were campaigning outside M&S about them chucking food away when charities could use it. Had a nice chat with them about meals for the homeless (connected to our local foodbank, so was interested) A solitary old man carrying a wooden cross was singing a hymn, He didn't want money, just to proclaim his religion. Felt sorry for him too, and talked for a bit and said 'Bless you'. The famous Puppet Man was there (has been for 30yrs to my knowledge) begging. Gave him £1 and had a quick chat. Gave him a kiss too (he knows me of old) Sat in a small cafe and there was a respectable but sad-looking lady sitting all alone. Had a chat with her and she cheered up a bit. Dh gave £1 to a Cats Charity lady (sad pics of abandoned cats). Young lad singing (badly) and playing a guitar, being totally ignored. Gave him...yes you've guessed. It went on like this until I had a lump in my throat and felt like sobbing. All these sad, lonely, poor or troubled people and everyone walking past as if they were invisible.
I realise of course that the odd pathetic quid does no good. But we can't do more, we haven't much to spare. And having a quick chat doesn't help either.
It's just I seem to see loneliness and despair in people's eyes and it upsets me terribly, especially when no-one seems to care.
Maybe I was in a low mood (don't think so though, as I'm usually quite chirpy!) but AIBU?

YANBU.
you are a very caring, sensitive person.
never change.

I live in another city, it is horrible at the moment, as so many people are clearly being failed by the system.

I live by a market in Mexico City so I can't go out my door without seeing people begging on the street, it is quite desensitizing. I just can't give to everyone so I end up being totally arbitrary. I am afraid I am too shy to talk to them, but it is very cruel to see so much misery.

Well, but rich people have severe problems too.
You can't feel sad for everyone in the world....we'll all have to feel sorry for you then!

I'm currently in Paris and you do get down from time to time seeing people begging. You have to pick your cause though.

I really don't like cities, and find them depressing. Fantastic,for a day or two, but no way could I live in a big city or suburb happily.

I nearly wrote this today. I live in a very rural area so when I go to a city it's the same. Just get overwhelmed by all the misery.
I'm definitely going to do sone volunteering, but with a baby and a toddler it might have to wait a bit...!

I think you should always be careful about giving to beggars. I don't know what it's like for beggars in the UK, but in the country I live in there is a huge cultural taboo about begging. Instead of begging, people often sell cheap fruit, sing or collect plastic bottles to resell. That way, money earned is for a service or goods.

There are children and adults who beg without doing these things, and locals and people who live here ignore them. They have usually been trafficked across the border from Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia etc and any money that is given goes straight to criminal gangs that work in the drug trade. They aim for tourists because they are usually the people who don't realise what is going on.

I imagine that there must be similar cases in the UK so I would urge you to be scrupulous about who you support. Obviously things like the Big Issue are evidence of genuine need and that the money is going to the worker, but someone else may be being exploited, and one of the ways which we can prevent this happening is by removing the financial incentive for the gangs.

I volunteer with Crisis, and the one thing our homeless guests consistently say is the best part of Crisis at Chritmas is that for sometimes the only time in that year, people have made the time to sit and jut talk to them, rather than ignore / abuse / piss on they get the rest of the year, so never under estimate what a smile and a friendly greeting can give to someone homeless.

We are also recommended by numerous charities working with homeless clients to not give money to people begging in the streets, especially in bigger cities, as there are a lot of issues with gangs running begging 'pitches' and making a fortune that the begger doesn't see any of, or of course using it for drugs / alcohol.

The suggestion is that you instead offer to buy someone some food / hot drink, as if they really are in need, they will be very glad of that, if they turn it down, then we jus apologise, reoffer, but walk away if still not wanted. It's hard to do admittedly, but this is info from those working on the streets with this client group, and they generally know the situation best.

Oh and this time of year I have spare hats / gloves / socks / blankets in the car, and offer those too, often much needed and very gladly recieved - you can't have too many dry warm socks living on the streets, wet cold feet is a literal killer, but socks are relatively cheap and even unwaged I manage a few pairs here and there

Adara that is a good idea about giving food. I have a friend who does that. It's not quite the same but there's a woman who frequently stops people asking if they can give her change for the bus.
My friend said she didn't have change but would wait with her and pay her onto the bus. Funnily enough she made her excuses and left...

Just out of interest, do you know what happens when police catch up with people who are begging? I've seen it happen a few times lately where the police are obviously moving people on but I've never known what happens next. If they are in genuine need it'd be sad to think of them being punished for it.