to refuse to serve coffee to a 10 year old?

[ScarlettDarling]

Ds just been to an outdoor sledging place for his birthday party. Three of his best friends have come back here and as they're all freezing I offered them hot chocolate. One said he didn't like it and asked could he have coffee instead.I was a bit taken aback and made a joke about how coffee wasn't a children's drink, but he looked a bit miffed and said he had it all the time at home. I ended up giving him hot apple stuff instead but now Im wondering if I was being unreasonable...I don't think coffee is an appropriate drink for children, but I happily served hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows to the others which, let's face it, isn't exactly healthy!!

[DarkHeart]

YABU so many kids drink coke and other fizzy drinks. My ds 13 drinks coffee now and again and has dine for a few years.

[jumbo79]

springalong but why is coffee definitely not "okay"?

What's the reason behind you deciding that?

[AcrossthePond55]

My mum started giving me milky coffee & tea as a child as a breakfast treat or sometimes we were allowed to have it with dessert at a family party (made us feel vair sophisticated and grownup!). I started drinking it regularly with breakfast when I was probably 14 or so. It never did us any harm. It didn't 'stunt our growth' (which is what they told us it would do) and we didn't run around like hyped-up savages.

8 oz coffee 95-200 mg (depending on brew strength)
8 oz tea 14-70 mg (again, depending on brew strength)
8 oz Coke 19.5 mg
8 oz cocoa 5-70 mg (depending on brand or recipe)

I probably would have just said 'Will it be ok with your mum?' and then given it to him. I would probably also mentioned it to her with a 'Bobby said he had it at home so I hope it was OK'.

[squoosh]

I certainly wouldn't give a 5 year old coffee but then caffeine addicts irritate me so perhaps that would influence me.

[DancingDinosaur]

He's 10 It wouldn't occur to me to refuse. But then I was drinking tea and coffee from age 5.

[tobysmum77]

caffeine addicts irritate me rofl hahahaha

[emotionsecho]

My children also drank tea and coffee before they were 10, I can safely report no harm was done.

[ivykaty44]

Aren't experiences outside the home supposed to give you new experiences?

yes and this boy will now have experienced the Op being funny over giving him a drink that he has at home - different strokes for different folks type experience.

No harm done, just a bit odd to offer a person a drink and then when the request is made say no you can't have that as I am taken aback by your not out of the ordinary request….

[o0]

Doesn't caffeine affect iron absorption? So that's why they say no tea/coffee for children. I followed that advice for my DC so if one of my DS's friends asked for coffee I'd be taken aback at first, just because I've never given mine it.

I think it's fine to give it if you want/they like it, I'm just saying that if you've never given it to your DC you've never had to actually have a proper think about it for other kids.

[Metalguru]

I think posters are being harsh, op wasn't judging other parents IMO, but it's tricky with other peoples dc in your own home and we tend to be a bit mire cautious. You don't know what kind of "coffee" he has at home, my dd always calls my hot chocolate "coffee" when we are out as that is how she refers to adult drinks

[tobysmum77]

so why give them chocolate if caffeine is so bad?

[morethanpotatoprints]

My dd has the occasional coffee if she needs a hit before a performance as coke and other caffeine containing drinks produce too much gas .

I don't think YWBU to refuse though, because what happens if he was pulling your leg and the parents didn't approve.

There isn't any harm though, and its no worse than sugary caffeine drinks, maybe better.

[ivykaty44]

Dual isotope studies were performed in iron replete human subjects to evaluate the effect of coffee on nonheme iron absorption. A cup of coffee reduced iron absorption from a hamburger meal by 39% as compared to a 64% decrease with tea, which is known to be a potent inhibitor of iron absorption. When a cup of drip coffee or instant coffee was ingested with a meal composed of semipurified ingredients, absorption was reduced from 5.88% to 1.64 and 0.97%, respectively, and when the strength of the instant coffee was doubled, percentage iron absorption fell to 0.53%. No decrease in iron absorption occurred when coffee was consumed 1 h before a meal, but the same degree of inhibition as with simultaneous ingestion was seen when coffee was taken 1 h later. In tests containing no food items, iron absorption from NaFeEDTA was diminished to the same extent as that from ferric chloride when each was added to a cup of coffee. These studies demonstrate that coffee inhibits iron absorption in a concentration-dependent fashion.

[hoobypickypicky]

ScarlettDarling, did you think he was trying it on and not really allowed coffee or did you take it upon yourself to decide that he shouldn't have it while on your watch?

[Spinaroo]

Yabu- you could have made him a weak coffee instead of making him feel awkward.

[HicDraconis]

YABU but you know that already :)

My boys love tea, hot chocolate and decent coffee - at 7&8. It's a drink. It's not alcoholic, why the adults only perception? They don't like coca cola (which has caffeine in), diet sodas (which are full of artificial sweeteners that rot brain cells) or in the 8 year olds case, fruit juice (which is liquid sugar) - but they do like English breakfast or a flat white.

[Lweji]

Well, actually according to these tables most coffee will have more than twice a can of coke.
I suppose you could have prepared some weaker coffee, but as others pointed out:
a) you don't know if he is telling the truth
b) if he has decaf or not real coffee at home.

I did give a nephew a small cup with a tiny amount of instant coffee in it. For me it would also depend on the age and size of the child.

[hoobypickypicky]

Um, a polite reminder. Whiskey is an "adult drink". Lager is an "adult drink". Coffee is a drink.

[squoosh]

'caffeine addicts irritate me rofl hahahaha'

Rofl all you like tobysmum dear but I do get a bit bored of colleagues who can't even contemplate starting work without first brewing up pots of tea/coffee.

[Spincyclist]

I'm really surprised so many are saying OP is v unreasonable. It's just never occurred to me to buy my 8 year old a coffee. Quick Google says a massive starbucks hot choc is 25mg caffeine, a red bull 80mg, a small Costa Americano 185g.

I know it's not poison etc but it is addictive. It would just not cross my mind to let a 10 year old have 2 red bulls at a kids' party. So shoot me. Maybe when my eldest is 10 I'll feel differently.

[Lweji]

Coffee is a drink. that contains a drug, although to be dangerous it should require very high levels.

[maddy68]

Really? Why wouldn't you give him a coffee?
There is caffine in hot chocolate too!

Mine have never well rarely drunk cold drinks. Always tea or coffee

[Lweji]

It's about the dosage.
Caffeine is a psychoactive drug, and can be poisonous (which is why it's made by the plant), but it's safe in small quantities.
Different beverages have different amounts, so we can't say that a strong coffee is the same as hot coco, or even coke.

[Lweji]

Also: kidshealth.org/parent/growth/feeding/child_caffeine.html#