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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Indulge My Inner Woo Over All These DC with "other Mummies" ?!

57 replies

MadameOvary · 23/01/2015 23:58

Yes it's a TAAT, but I know I'm not the only one who's curious about all these stories about DC who talk about their "other Mummies"

Am I???

OP posts:

Tunna · 24/01/2015 01:22

My DS used to talk about his other mummy on and off from about the age of 2 - 4. It was a tiny bit woo at the time as he'd be very specific about things like the texture of her hair or asking when the two girls would be joining our family.

He stopped a few months after starting school, although there was one awkward chat with the teacher who said he'd been very upset in school that day because his mummy had died. I think she was very relieved to see me when I picked him up

unclerory · 24/01/2015 01:25

My friends daughter talks about her other family the whole time. She does it to wind up her brother, points out the house they live in etc. Nothing woo at all.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/01/2015 01:35

Ha ha. Not my dad, my d.d.

ArsenicFaceCream · 24/01/2015 01:42

all these stories

I haven't seen a single one

Braeburns · 24/01/2015 03:45

My son (now 4) used to talk quite a lot about his other family who lived in a town nearby when he was 2-3. Once driving through he said that his other home was close by (would have been interesting to try and 'find' it). However he is generally fairly obsessed with the idea of other lives and "starting over" as he refers to it. We cannot figure out where the concept has come from as we and the family he interacts with are atheist or would not believe in reincarnation. Most recently he told me that when I die and start again he would be teaching me. He is also quite keen to either grow up and become a girl or 'start again' and be a girl next time - so I think it's just an exploration of identity.

ZingTheGreat · 24/01/2015 04:03

this whole thing reminds me of the scene in My Family when Hugh Dennis wants to leave the shop (I think) and picks up his reluctant son who starts shouting something like " please help, this man is not my father..."

maybe those children had seen that episode and like to re-enact?

sashh · 24/01/2015 06:24

I have a theory based on no actual science.

I think we sort of inherit memory.

Before we are born our bodies try all sorts of things which is why you get scans of babies sucking thumbs. If you hold a hew born baby up with feet on a floor or table it will 'walk'.

I think the bits of our brain that become our memory are tested with memories from parents passed on in the genes.

Now I know you will say that memories cannot be passed on but consider this, every single cell in your body has been replaced since birth. So the physical entity that was you as an 8 year old does not exist now, but you can remember being 8, your friends and relatives can too.

Then there is the second part of my theory - children cannot cope with the idea that they never existed. It does not make sense to them, they know they exist but can't remember not existing so they fill int he gaps with, "well if I wasn't here I must have been somewhere"

These two things lead to 'memories'.

alwaysstaytoolong · 24/01/2015 07:18

Kids make stuff up all the time or hear and repeat it.

When they say 'my other Mummy' some people go woo because they're not 100% convinced that reincarnation doesn't exist and it MIGHT be possible.

But when the kid says 'there's a monster in the cupboard' or 'my friend is a unicorn that talks to me at night' you 100% know those things don't exist so you don't consider it.

All just demonstrations of a childs fantasy world. Nothing woo about it.

JeanSeberg · 24/01/2015 07:35

That was Outnumbered Zing.

ahfuckit · 24/01/2015 08:08

I'm not sure how old my DD was but we had that woo conversation. She told me I was her favourite mummy. When I replied that she only had one, she was adamant that she had had several and some were unkind. Nice that I was the best though

Whowillsaveyoursoul · 24/01/2015 08:43

I find the threads where people have 'spirit babies' and talk about their dc saying they chose their mummy and were just waiting make me very sad. I can't conceive. Is that because I'd be such a terrible mother that there's no baby wanting to come to me?

PoppyFleur · 24/01/2015 08:57

whowill Nothing to do with 'spirit babies' choosing a mummy & everything to do with life being very unfair. I am so sorry to hear you can't conceive.

I am very lucky to have DS, I remember all too clearly sitting in waiting rooms at the fertility clinic praying that this time it would work.

kaykayred · 24/01/2015 09:01

What the fuck is "Woo" ?

If I heard a child talking about their "other mummy" I would assume that it's parents were a gay couple, and my head would go "noted" not "woooooooo"

Are you talking about it more from a "Coraline" sort of angle?

kaykayred · 24/01/2015 09:08

Oh I get it, is this more like invisible friends?

Someone in my family had an imaginary friend when a child. It was all very consistent, and they had a weird arse name which seems odd for a child to just "invent" rather than going for a standard name like "Julie" or whatever.

Their (very down to earth and not at all new age) parents were told that no-one knows why some children go through this phase, but it was best not to encourage it by setting places at the table, etc.

They were also told by the local (honestly not insane) priest that children were very sensitive - much more so than adults - and he suspected that their openness meant they could perceive things at more levels than adults (like, on a scientific level - hearing frequency). He said it was up to the parents to decide whether this thing their child was perceiving was beneficial or harmful.

That always freaked me the fuck out.

YouBetterWerk · 24/01/2015 09:12

I was like this at about 4/5. Just asked my DM about it and she says it was just very blasé, vary factual, I wasn't upset by it. 'My other mummy before' kind of stuff. I do remember a kind of feeling of 'before', kind of like you know for a fact that yesterday happened even though you're not there anymore, IYSWIM. It's quite common and I highly doubt there was anything 'woo' in it, I'd love to understand the psychology behind it though.

notonyourninny · 24/01/2015 09:12

ifgrandmahadawilly · 24/01/2015 09:22

'other Mummy' reminds me of Coraline. Creepy.

I get really scared hearing those stories about kids who think they have lived before. Not sure I believe it but I definitely find it creepy.

Blueandwhitelover · 24/01/2015 09:28

My son did it aged around 3, he said that the flowers in the garden we had just passed were the same as the ones that had been in the church when he was in the box and the other/first mummy was crying.
He was so matter of fact about it but there was something about the way he said it that sent chills down me!

PenelopeChipShop · 24/01/2015 10:59

Blueandwhite that would have freaked me out! What did you say to him?

TwitterWooooo · 24/01/2015 11:36

Oh I see that kind of "woo"!
I'm not sure if I believe that, it sounds too creepy. My dd aged aged about 3 was very unwell with a dreadfully painful kidney infection I held her in arms and she "if I die mummy you do know I love you". I wanted to cry it made me so fucking scared thinking she had "woo powers"

TwitterWooooo · 24/01/2015 11:38

Bloody hell blue, that's creepy and would have given me bad dreams,

CinderellaRockefeller · 24/01/2015 11:52

My theory is that kids spend a lot of time hearing people say "I remember when we did this" and "when I lived in..." and so on that they try out the grammatical construct and say things like "I used to live there" and so on without realising that there is reality behind it for other people. They have no real concept of time and past so they think that people just say random imagining things, and want to join in.

cailindana · 24/01/2015 11:55

My DS started talking about "other mummies" when he was 3. I talked to him about where babies come from yesterday and he said "yes and before I got here someone else looked after me, she was nice."

It did give me the slight collywobbles.

Blueandwhitelover · 24/01/2015 11:58

He doesn't have any recollection of it now (aged 23)- when he was born the elderly midwife took one look at him staring up at her and said that he'd been here before which creeped me out a bit!

TwitterWooooo · 24/01/2015 12:40

Very unprofessional of midwifes to say shit stuff like that WHITE.

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