To be pissed off at dp interrupting me?

[saltedcaramelicious]

My partner has a bad habit of interrupting me
Today we were having a conversation about something normal and trivial to do with work, which I began. He them says a few sentences about it, and pauses for a few seconds. During this pause I say something along the lines of "yes and I think that is why -" and I am them cut off by DP launching into another comment linked to what he'd said before.

He does this often, I have mentioned it to him and he says he doesn't realise he's doing it. He does it when we are alone also in groups.
It's started to irritate me, to the point where when he interrupts me I lose all interest in the conversation and give up talking. I've found myself rushing my speech when I talk to him as I am anticipating being talked over.
When it happens in groups I feel even worse!

When he stops talking I feel like saying "as I was sayinf......"

If I ever accidentally interrupt anyone, I apologise and ask them to continue.

Why can't he do this?!

And breathe....

I have a personal assistant/carer who I directly employ who does this.

I find it so frustrating, but I haven't been able to say anything yet. She gets defensive quite easily, and also doesn't pick up on hints.

I don't know what I can do.

My DH does this too and it drives me mad.

I end up pointedly telling him to stop interrupting me and to actively listen.

Someone who is talking over you isn't listening as they are thinking about themselves and the point they want to make.

My DH also does these rambling, tangential conversations. It will start off innocuously enough. Like, "oh you'll never believe who I bumped into today near that building with the fancy doors. Fancy doors, that reminds me of when I lived in St Petersburg. St Petersburg was great, but not as good as Finland. I don't know how I survived getting lost in the Tundra ..." So then I say, so who was it you bumped into? And he looks at me like I'm crazy and he doesn't know what I'm talking about as in his head he's talking about tundra. I then have to recount the whole conversation.

Sorry offloading a bit.

Quick question, OP: Does he do it with anybody else? Or just you?

This would seriously inform any subsequent comments I would make...

Does he think that you are the one interrupting him?

My DH also often has long thinking pauses between his statements and it ends up annoying both of us because I feel he has stopped talking and so it is now my turn to speak (as there is no indication if it is a pause or an actual end), whereas he feels that I am interrupting him.

Do the 'As I was saying' bit. If it annoys him, good. He may then learn to stop annoying you!

My DH used to do this. I put up with it for, oh, probably twenty years. I would just shut up and let him talk.

I changed. I just continued talking until I was done. Then I would say, "what were you saying? I could not hear you as you were talking over me."

That took years to make any progress.

There are so many things I would like to tell the young me!

I know he just has things to say and he can't wait to say them. I think he has AS characteristics. Also is an only child.

See, I do this with DH. I have come to realize we just have very different speech patterns: I speak very fast, get my point across quickly (my parents and siblings are the same), whereas DH speaks very slowly and gets bogged down in details. An example...

Me: We should try to lower our electric bill. Any suggestions?
DH: I had a friend once...now what was his name?....David, no Dave, no was it Lewis? Hmmm well we called him-
Me: Doesn't matter. Move on.
DH: Well he had a flat in Bromley...no Brentwood?...noooo-
Me: Near London. Got it. What about him?
DH: He always used to say his heating was crap but actually, it was because the instructions were written in French...no German...might have been-
Me: Do you have any thoughts about our bill?
DH: No.

Drives me insane.

Hmm maybe I need to leave a longer pause then, wait til he's finished everything and then talk when I will probably have forgotten my own comments anyway

It's even more annoying when he asks me a question then interrupts my answer, think I will try the 'as I was saying'.

My mil and her siblings do this, dh to a lesser extent but he does it too sometimes. Get them all together and its a massive loud, shouty mess of posh-voiced people all saying their piece and nobody able to hear what anybody else is saying. They don't care what anybody else is saying, nor do they seem to care if nobody is listening to them!

You could always try "Sorry to talk while you're interrupting".

My DH does it too. I just completely stop mid sentence and look at him til he realises I hadn't finished my sentence. Then continue when he's gone quiet. Probably rather PA really

I would get up and walk away without a word as soon as he interupted. It's about as clear as you can get that he has done it and also is a taste of his own medicine but in a very point making way. You interupt him by walking away. I wouldnt be sitting waiting for him to finish to say "as i was saying". Make your point immediately by walking away.

My MIL does this, but she's very socially anxious and I think her sense of how conversation should flow just flies out of the window with her nerves, so she monologues at people. She's the only person I put up with it in.

My dh does this too.
When he does it to me as I just keep repeating the phrase "I'm still talking" until he gets the hint.
Its worse when he does it to my son in law who comes from a very polite family. Poor sil just gives up trying to put his point across.
We tend to shout "sil is still talking!"
Dh comes from a big family who all interrupt so its quite normal to him, not rude at all.

My DH does it too - not as badly as he used to mind!

In his case, I think he thinks we are just so in tune that he can finish my sentences. The reality is, we are complete opposites so this is rarely true lol. Normally I just look at him slack-jawed until he's finished, then say "as I was saying...."

Luckily he takes it well!

Lips moving, still talking

Me TOO op. So annoying!!!

The other day we were having a serious chat where, out of stubbornness, we both just tried the talking at the same time. I just repeated the start of my sentence over and over until he gave up. I'm sick of it. He doesn't listen!

"I just feel like..."

"I just feel like..."

Repeated about 10 times. It worked though mind. Cheeky twat.