To think a child of 8 should not be left

[notnow2]

To walk home from school, and stay alone until 18.30. Someone I know says that this is the age that kids can start to do this as childminders don't take children over 8.

A 13 year old babysits my 4 and 3 year old!

bitofanoddone I used to babysit at that age. Again, all down to the maturity of the child.

If a 13 year old can have a baby and legally be allowed to keep it, then how can they not be allowed to babysit someone else's child?

I think the childminder red herring is due to the fact that over 8s aren't included in the ratios. I would imagine most cms would prefer an 8 year old, as it wouldn't stop them from taking another child. My cm has my two littlies plus an assortment of other kids on different days, before /after school and some all day in the holidays - some of the older kids opt to go there, its a nice place to be, there are always different things to do and other children to play with. She takes on a second assistant when things get busy to juggle all the school runs. I fully intend to use her as part of our childcare when the kids get older, alongside school based clubs.
I think at 8 they might get a bit bored at a childminders all the time, but there are ways round it - could they do their music practice there, for example?

I think that's too young and I've given my DD alot of independence quite early. she's always been very grown up and sensible.. At 9 she was walking some of the way home from school and by 10 she was going the whole way and home again. However, only on very rare occasions did she come back to an empty house while in primary school and never till that late. Now that she is 12 she is obviously much more grown up and she does sometimes come home when DW and I are at work and once a week may be home alone till 6.30. I wouldn't want to do that every day though and there is no way I would do that with an 8 year old.

I am seriously wondering whether it would be okay to pop out for five minutes to buy calpol and leave my eight year old alone. To be honest, ds would probably, probably be okay but he would be sad.

It just seems such a lonely time for a little one to be left for three hours.

No, I think whoever told you that was confused by the fact that the rules for adult/child ratio relaxes for childminders after the age of 8. But childminders and other post-school childcare absolutely do take 8-year-olds - and so they should, because they're needed! In general (but not always, childcare stops accepting children when they get to secondary age. Secondary age (in our family anyway) was about the same time that I started feeling comfortable about them letting themselves in, getting a snack and dossing about making a start on their homework.

In my case (two very sensible dds), I remember that dd2 was left home alone at age 8 once, for an hour, because it was an emergency. With her Dad on the way home to her, and me ringing her every chance I got. She was fine, but I wouldn't have done it if I'd had the choice.

I used to go home alone from when I was 11 btw - get the bus home from school, walk home from bus stop and let myself in. Because my Mum had to collect younger siblings from after school clubs at a different school (i.e. I had just gone up to secondary).

I wasn't left before that I don't think, although we would walk to the corner shop from a younger age, so I suppose that is more dangerous!

No matter how sensible an 8-year-old was I wouldn't do something like that on a regular basis, because frankly it sounds too lonely for such a small child.

Not acceptable IMO. The likelihood of anything going wrong is minimal but that is not a risk I could live with.

From Yr 7 and up is about the age I started leaving alone/walking to and from school alone but then again I have lost a child and had another one almost die on me so my opinion is probably a bit skewed.

Number3 I couldn't put that much responsibility on a 12 year old.

If a 13 year old can have a baby and legally be allowed to keep it, then how can they not be allowed to babysit someone else's child?

If a 13yo child had a baby, they would have a huge amount of support from parents, and SS. They may well never be alone with their child for any length of time. They certainly would not be expected to care for the baby entirely independently.

FWIW, I think my 13yo DD (and my 15yo) could babysit children in the evening. But that's an entirely different thing to having sole charge of a baby, without help.

BubbleGirl01

So sorry to hear of your loss, that is absolutely dreadful.

Myself and my son had a long discussion before he decided to agree with collecting DD from school. He is more than happy and I am confident he would let me know if he was not comfortable with it.

He is very responsible and when I return from work (1.5 hours later) they are usually up the table doing homework or playing on kindle / iphones.

Giving a child responsibility is not a bad thing if they can handle that responsibility.

I am expecting DC3 this year, I would not in a million years expect him to look after the baby even for a short time as I know this would be far too much.
DD is very mature, she is extremely articulate and understands dangers far more than most her age.
In fact, sometimes it scares me how much she actually does know!

Myself and my brother were left alone from age 8 + 9, my Dad was a single parent and worked 2 jobs, we were always fine and relied on neighbours if we were concerned about anything.

I am absolutely confident with my my DS collecting DD.

SanityClause
Actually no - I had a school friend who had a baby at 13 (in fact she had 3 by age 16 after having twins later on)

She was quite often solely responsible for her baby and although SS was aware and did visits, she did not have restrictions placed on her.

She is now 35 and married with 4 children (she had another a few years back)

The children were not taken off her, the father attempted to gain custody and he did not get it. She's a well balanced and hard working person, nothing bad ever happened.

"Actually no" to what?

I didn't suggest that a child of 13yo who had a baby would have her children taken from her.

However, a 13yo would not be expected to live independently. I expect your friend lived in her family home, or with a foster carer. So, she was in charge of her DC, but with support.

Incidentally, the parent of a child would be more likely to be a good carer for their own child at 13, than a friend or relative of the child would be at the same age. Just because a 13yo might have a child does not mean that all 13yo would be suitable babysitters.

8 is far too young. My DDs didn't start coming home alone until DD2 was past 9 and DD1 was almost 12 - and DH is always home just after 4, so they were never alone more than 45 minutes max.

Now they're 12 and 14 and it's a different ballgame, the maturity gulf with 8 is just vast.