To think I may have ADHD or some other I diagnosed condition?

[ShabbyShan]

Obviously I don't truly know how other people get through life but I have always felt different in ways I can't explain. I never had friends as a child, I just used to irritate everyone by acting stupid, being childish and just "not getting it". I used to drive family members crazy by doing stupid pointless stuff like mashing up a bar of soap, ruining wallpaper or purposely staining carpets (my favourite was to stain the same bit of carpet over and over again). As I got older I started getting impulses to do really stupid and dangerous things, one of which was setting fire to an out building at the school (someone else put it out, I would have let it burn to the point of no return). During lessons I just stared out of the window daydreaming and as a result I left school with few decent gcse's (other than a c in English and a b in art).

Anyway all these characteristics have continued right into my 30s, I just keep a better lid on them now. I still can't make friends, I still daydream when I'm supposed to be paying attention, I still get the urge to do stupid things (last year I had the urge to swim to a nearby island in a country known for dangerous waters despite not being a great swimmer. I did it and thank god lived to tell the tale. I still deface magazines and signs at work because I just can't fight the urge if I think I can get away with it and I just cannot make decisions to save my life. My head feels like a jumbled up ball of fragments. I can change my mind multiple times within minutes. What do you reckon? Could there be something actually undiagnosed? I also get the urge to scream randomly , if I'm in company I can get away with I do occasionally scream and make it out to be a joke. If I can't, I feel physical shivers as I try to resist it. I'm sure/positive people think I'm weird.

You've struggled with this all your life and it's still affecting you daily. Yes, I think you might have something undiagnosed. I suspect I'm on the autistic spectrum, but getting a diagnosis is hard.

Do you want a diagnosis, or would acknowledgement that you're different be enough?

My daughter has ADHD, and you have described her perfectly. I really think you should see a doctor. However it is very hard for adults to get diagnosed. Google ADHD forums, and you may find some support there and tips on seeking diagnosis. You may find that trying medication, or even some form of counselling might help, you have nothing to lose by trying. Just be prepared for a fight, and possibly to need to go private. Good luck.

The medical profession are sometimes reluctant to diagnose these things in adults as they don't think we will benefit from it.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult after going private and it was one if the best things I ever did.

Sounds very much like ADHD. Two of my children have a diagnosis. I spent an evening this week cleaning up a pack of butter that had been rubbed into the kitchen lino for no apparent reason other than an urge to do it. A diagnosis as an adult isn't easy as far as I understand but it sounds like you have enough evidence to back it up. I would start with your gp and tell him what you have told us. Good luck with it, decent support or medication could make all the difference.

My son was diagnosed with autism (asperger's) last year, and having read up on asperger's in females, I have become reasonably certain that I have at least traits.

Something I found helpful was the observation that it only matters if it is causing you problems. It sounds as if it is causing you problems, so I can see why finding a diagnosis might help you.

For me, I realised that I had already developed coping strategies and put supports (therapy, relaxation stuff) in place to help me navigate my difficult areas (and to address my anxiety issues).

Good luck .

ADHD in adults is increasingly recognised now and it's incorrect to say Dr's are reluctant to diagnose it in adults and there is a great deal of benefit to be had with an adult ADHD diagnosis and treatment.

The problem is that there aren't that many specialist clinics. There's one in Bristol which covers a wide area, one in Birmingham and London.

There are smaller 'clinics' dotted around the UK but they tend to be one or two people so the waiting lists are huge.

Look on the UKAAN website for a list of clinics in the UK and approved private Psychiatrists who can assess and diagnose but that will cost on average £500 - £900 depending where you live.

ShabbyShan, I can actually identify with almost all of what you've said. I've donewell academically, but have always struggled to concentrate at all (was almost completely unable to do homework; never once revised for an exam, even into adulthood). I've always sought danger and taken ridiculous risks, and I'll happily let fate decide things for me, without a care for the consequences. I've not had trouble making friends, but I've never been particularly fussed over keeping them.

I've done the odd 'do you have ADHD' test online, and have always scored very highly, but have never really thought it worth going to a medical professional for. I understand the value of doing so with an undiagnosed child, but I've never been sure what they'd be able to do for me as a (fairly successful) adult. I'm less manic that I was as a child, and I've worked hard and learned to manage, mitigate and even harness some of my impulses in adult life.

However, reading what you've written, and writing this down myself, I'm starting to wonder if I should speak to someone about it!

Yep,

Inability to control impulse is the core of ADHD.
I have a DS1 with it and a few adult friends - they are glad to be diagnosed. My DP definitely has it but not sure to push diagnosis or not, watchign with interest.

A third of the population will score on an 'do you have ADHD test' - they're very blunt tools and anxiety and personality disorders can mimic ADHD in adults as can experiences of childhood trauma.

A decent assessment by a specialist adult ADHD service is the only way to reliably diagnose the disorder.

Stimulant medication is the front - line treatment and can make a huge difference but lots of adults with ADHD have developed compensatory mechanisms over time that are effective.

A diagnosis in adulthood can make that person make sense of themselves and the world around them but pharmacological treatment is only indicated if ADHD symptoms are impacting on that persons life to a damaging degree.

My daughter has adhd and does exactly as you describe down to the purposely staining carpets and mashing up soap. She also has Tourette's which explains the urge to make random noises.

My mother refused to believe that ds1 had ADHD as he was "exactly the same as you were as a child". I have no doubt I have it but have never looked for a diagnosis. Ds1 had a fire raising phase. Fortunately it passed quite quickly with minimal damage.

Alwaysstaytoolomg, I appreciate the nuance of your statement, helping people in 'making sense of themselves', but I remain skeptical of the value of diagnosis for its own sake.

In the US, for example, Ritalin is massively over-prescribed to 8.5% of children! Most of whom are just being.... children. Other than confirming our own prejudices (often of ourselves), I'm yet to be convinced of what the point is in diagnosing all but the most extreme examples in adulthood.

If I was diagnosed, so what? I'd have a satisfying label; maybe I'd feel a way of externalising or explaining some of my impulses, but so what? And, ultimately, a diagnosis of a disorder is a description of shades of grey. There's no threshold either way; we're categorised on a sliding scale.

I'm most ambivalent about this!

Babycham - I was actually supporting you in my post as in a 'if it ain't really broke, don't fix it' kind of way. Sorry if it seemed otherwise.

That's what I was saying about many adults with ADHD having made adaptations over time so the difficulties are compensated for and don't impact on their lives too much.

There's a misconception about ADHD that the most damaging symptoms must be related to very obviously socially unacceptable behaviour in extremes but it often isn't about that at all.

Many adults with ADHD have just been told consistently since childhood that they're e.g feckless, lazy, childish or unreliable and tutors/employers now say it. So they believe it, 'everyone else can get to work on time and don't lose a piece of paper in 5 mins so it's me, I'm not as good as everyone else. I AM stupid/irresponsible'.

Family members/partners/friends may have said they are; selfish, don't care about other people, don't listen, don't appreciate people, take and don't give, let everyone else organise everything, don't take responsibilty etc.

For those people - a diagnosis can be really helpful to help that person make sense of their life and improve anxiety and depression whether that person wants treatment for ADHD or not because often the anxiety and depression is directly related to the persons ADHD and them constantly viewing the things they do as a failing in themselves rather than the result of an executive functioning disorder which is no more under their control than Autism would be.

If its not damaging your career, your relationships or the way you view yourself and the world then you wouldn't really be looking for an assessment or diagnosis anyway so it would be fairly irrelevant in that case

always that's kind of how I feel, but in relation to ASD rather than ADHD, a diagnosis would help me make sense of my failings, and perhaps help me to get effective treatment for my depression and anxiety. As it is, I respond well to treatment but have frequent relapses, I suspect because we're treating the symptoms rather than the underlying issue.

While I've suspected ASD for a long time, certainly since my teens, it's only when things are not going well and I am under stress that I feel the need to seek a diagnosis, so it's true what you say about if it isn't damaging, you wouldn't be seeking a diagnosis.

Interesting comments - I do feel DP has it deeply rooted in his personality - very charismatic and focussed when he wants to be (but not otherwise), he was let down badly by schooling as a child and left without qualifications. What I strongly feel, and had to press when we started down the road to diagnosis with DS1, is that DP is very lucky that he harnessed his specific personality and found what he wanted to do with it. Another person without that purpose would easily find themselves impulsively doing things they shouldn't, or choosing the wrong career so that they were working against rather than with their ADHD traits. So knowledge is definitely power

Also I wanted to say OP that we aren't professionals and that it may be that there are other things going on with you - the swimming in unsafe waters incident reminds me of acquaintances with Bipolar disorder in a manic phase. I think you should definitely see a professional and show them your OP