Aibu to think a friend should be there in times of need?

[Rainiswet]

First off I'm having a pretty shit time at the moment but my 'friend' just seems to distance herself. The more I analyse our friendship, the more I realise we don't have that much in common. I'm sat wondering 'is it me?' Or has she already decided that I'm not worth it? I would die for her (we've been best friends for 9 yrs) She isn't taking my advice on anything no matter how big or small I thought that's what friends do?

surlycue has your friend noticed you've stepped back and if so how did she/you deal with it? I am going through similar...

I am sure she has but we havent had a direct conversation. TBH i havent had to actively step back very much because my circumstamces now mean i am just not physically able to answer the phone or get to her house. She knows the change in circumstances and she knows the toll it has taken on me, that i am exhausted and having to sleep a lot earlier etc so i think she will have drawn a logical conclusion that i am literally not able to talk to her when she calls. The calls have reduced slightly but nowhere near the level of what i would call a normal amount for a friendship (several times daily including while i am at work and college- even during exams which she knew i was taking and at what time) she does sometimes say "i feel like i havent seen you in ages" which i know is true (although ages actually means, "i havent seen you every day this week") but i do explain what i have had on my plate so she knows i am not deliberately avoiding her.

When DD was small I canvassed advice from friends about sleep then promptly completely ignored one friend who always told me to bottle feed, put her in her own room from birth, leave her to cry. Didn't jibe with my thoughts so I ignored her. She didn't stop pushing until I had to say I wouldn't be doing any of those things, which made her think that I was criticising her parenting. Advice is for the recipient, not the giver.

OP I think you need to step back a bit, you sound a bit over-invested in this. 'would die for her'? She drove past you, presumably gave a little wave. She probably didn't even think about where you were going.

In my experience lots of people (including myself) don't listen to advice. Don't take it personally. She seems complimentary about your parenting which is great. However she is a different mum with a different baby so will naturally do things differently.