convo with ex/to see baby

[ghostspirit]

me: when baby is born do you want any contact? please be honest.

him: Not really as ive been through being a part time dad with my girls. just getting windows in to them growing up and its not fair on me or the baby.

me: ok thats fine.

him: i know your a good mum and put your kids first so that makes me feel very happy :) :) :)

me: ok

him: shame we are not together then things would have been different but we are not so life go's on.

me: me and you did not work.

him: but your still a great girl.

The thing he said about his girls does not make sense as he's in contact with them now sees them all the time one is living with him. they are is their 20's now. so i don't know how it was when they were children. but fact that he has a relationship with them now must mean something... but with this child it seems he does not want to bother....

do i get rid of his number and never bother again. or do i just leave things as they are and keep doors open :/

So if I've read this right- he would rather be an absent dad than a part time dad? He sounds a right charmer!

Leave it up to him- let him know once baby is born. Then at least you can say you gave him the opportunity to be a part of their life. (Which to be fair you have just done but at least when the baby is born if you tell him he can't wriggle out of it by saying he didn't know.

Leave the doors open but don't do any chasing. He may change his mind when baby is born

yeah that's true... part of me wants to just fuck him of it would be so much easyer for me. but i know that's wrong and i don't have the right to make that choice.

he might feel different when baby is born. my friend always told me never to have expectations of anyone just keep doors open. if hes there he is if not so be it, think she has a point

He sounds like an idiot, trying to emotionally blackmail you into staying in a relationship with him. But I'd also leave the doors open for contact.

squoosh i know its kind of odd. that he cant separate things. and with him its me him baby or nothing. i did try a couple of times to have a relationship with him but he was not nice towards my children. so i could not.

yeah that's true... part of me wants to just fuck him of it would be so much easyer for me. but i know that's wrong and i don't have the right to make that choice

Why on earth wouldn't you have the right to make that choice. He has made his decision known. You either go along with it or end up hassling him when it is not welcome.

needs would that not mean i was taking the babys right away to see his father?

i would not hassle him. it would be his choice. but i would also be allowing him to mess about. saying that if i was just to not contact him again i dont think i would ever hear from him again

Of course it wouldn't if he changes his mind at any time in the future he has the ability to track you down and go via the courts.

You cannot force him to do anything other than pay CM. I personally wouldn't even bother dropping him a note after the birth.

saying that if i was just to not contact him again i dont think i would ever hear from him again

That says all you need to know.

He's made it perfectly clear in his messages that he has no interest in seeing this baby because it's only part-time! He's basically saying it's all or nothing.

If I were you, I would only make comtact with him once baby is born. Then he ball's in his court. And if you never hear from him again then it's his loss. Don't do any chasing.

contact the

wish we had an edit button!

needs regarding cm. im not even sure if he would be paying that. im assuming if he don't want to know. then he's wont even want to go on the birth certificate then how could i get any cm out of him?

In the uk him having Parental responsibility or being unnamed does not matter you just give his details to the CMS