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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to apologise for having judged this in the past as i now understand!

17 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 20/01/2015 13:44

Kids in matching clothes. I never got it. I would always silently judge and think 'they are individuals, stop dressing them as clones'. Especially with twins.

and now I have DS2 who idolises DS1 and wants to be just like him and that includes the clothes they wear. this is a 2 way thing, DS1 asked me at the weekend "What shirt is DS2 wearing so I can wear the same?"

And then DD (DS2's twin) feels left out and wants to wear the same. So if DS2 has his dungarees on DD wants her dungaree dress. If DS2 is wearing his red trousers she wants her red leggings. They always looked like I have deliberately dressed them as twins!

So today (DS1 is off school sick) I have all 3 DC in jeans with blue and white striped tops on at their own insistence. They look like little clones!!

So sorry to all those who have been before me, I have seen the error of my ways!!

(incidently, those with 2 or more of the same gender - how do you chose who gets what new things? for example I saw a great dinosaur top the other day and couldn't decide who to get it for - DS1 or DS2 as they both love dinosaurs! but I cant quite face buying them the same clothes all the time, plus its a pain when sorting laundry in a hurry to know who's is whos!)

OP posts:

VenusRising · 20/01/2015 13:51

Don't cut off the tags and sew/ tie a ribbon on for identification. Yellow, orange and green might be useful colours as they won't run in a coloureds wash.

You can change the ribbons as they grow into a bigger size: names are too permanent and you can't write over them.

Fwiw I like little teams of sibs! Makes me think of buzzing bees.

Bettercallsaul1 · 20/01/2015 13:56

Your children sound very cute, Queen!

Gawjushun · 20/01/2015 13:56

I think it's quite cute.

Then again, when I was a kid my mum had this horrible catalogue of unisex sibling clothes. She would dress me and my brother in matching shorts and very 80s tshirts. Luckily, she didn't order from the mother and daughter matching dungaree selection at the back.

AlfAlf · 20/01/2015 13:58

I've been guilty of similar judging in the past, but have also realised the error of my ways it usually comes from the children themselves wanting to dress the same. My youngest likes to dress like her sister too.
It does get very confusing with identical twins though; I know a pair of toddlers that always dress exactly the same and I can only tell them apart from their behaviour. Luckily, one is quieter and younger-acting.

SantasFavouriteHo · 20/01/2015 13:58

I saw a tip on buzzfeed for sorting clothes when you've kids of the same gender close together - the eldest gets one dot in permanent pen on the label, the next gets two dots etc and then if something is passed down then a new dot is added
Fwiw I usually buy new clothes for ds1 knowing that ds2 will get to wear it too when ds1 grows out of it

ChocLover2015 · 20/01/2015 14:01

I think you are making a problem for yourself by buying them matching stuff.If they don't have it, they can't wear it
I would buy it for the older one and then the younger one will get it eventually.
My DS is at university and there are 3 identical triplets on his course which is odd in itself.But they dress identically too!!

Original poster

QueenofKelsingra · 20/01/2015 14:01

thanks bettercall I think so!

venus that's a good idea about the coloured ribbon.

its does feel very clan-like here when they do it! I have a great photo of all 3 DC and DH in matching rugby shirts! cute and scary in equal measure!!

OP posts:

Original poster

QueenofKelsingra · 20/01/2015 14:05

choclover I haven't deliberately bought them matching stuff except for rugby shirts for our home team. I bought DS1 a triple pack of shirts and then a friend coincidently bought the same set for DS2 for his birthday which is why they have matching ones. they have some similar things - so different shirts with diggers on, or dinosaurs for example which they will want to wear on the same day - I guess that its technically 'co-ordinating' rather than 'matching'!

The issue is when I see a new item of clothing and I know both DSs would love it - who do I buy it for? DS2 is nearly 3 so it hasn't been an issue before but he's now getting vocal about his clothes and wants to choose! if I bought it for DS1 and he saw it he would want it and vice versa - and they would want to know why I hadn't bought them one too!!

OP posts:

Original poster

QueenofKelsingra · 20/01/2015 14:06

to add - DS1 and 2 were born off season to each other, so DS2 needs his clothes supplementing with new as he doesn't fit DS1's clothes at the right time of year! so its not as simple as 'you can have DS1's when your older'!

OP posts:

HearMyRoar · 20/01/2015 14:07

The thing about always buying for the eldest is that, as the youngest of 4, I can tell you that seeing your elder siblings always getting the new stuff leads to buckets of resentment over time. I always got everyone else's cast offs and it felt terribly unfair.

My parents were very short of cash so now i am grown up i understand and have forgiven them, but I think if you can possibly manage it you have to buy equally.

Toofat2BtheFly · 20/01/2015 14:08

17 months between my DD 's - now 5 and 3 .

They have been in matching clothes everyday since I could .only weekends now as Elder one is at school .

I would never buy one without the other ... Please judge away , I've tried to stop but I can't ! .

It's good crowd control at a glance too !!

MrsTawdry · 20/01/2015 14:13

It won't last though OP. My DDs are ten and almost 7 and the younger one wants to be like her sister...but her sister rightfully...has refused this since she was about 8.

She doesn't want her little sister to dress the same as her...it's not cool.

loudarts · 20/01/2015 14:14

Mine all have a couple of matching outfits, mainly so if we are going somewhere busy with the potential for one wandering off I can easily spot them and will remember what they were wearing. generally on a normal day the older ones don't match, but dd3 and dd4 have quite a few matching outfits that have been handed down so often end up wearing the same thing

IdaClair · 20/01/2015 14:14

The one who gets it is the one who actually needs some new clothes.

I have born off season stuff too but surely that only matters for the first 18 months ish. Nothing is true to size because there is no standard, either. I have plenty of clothes in the wardrobe that any of my kids can wear and there is a six year gap youngest to oldest

AlfAlf · 20/01/2015 14:15

HearMyRoar I hear you hehe and agree it's important to make sure even the youngest gets new clothes as well. My dd3 once said "can't I have me clothes sometimes?" when I presented her with dd2's outgrown pjs
On the other hand, she looks forward to getting dd2s things, and will admire a jumper dd2 is actually wearing and say she's looking forward to it being hers soon.

Girlwhowearsglasses · 20/01/2015 14:23

I have ID DTs (Boys) I usually buy them the same but different colours, avoids arguments about any item being 'better' than the other (coats fro instance).

Mine have conveniently partitioned colours out between them so its very easy to know whose thing is what, long may that continue.

I had a strategy when they were a bit younger where I would by DS1 (2 years older) 2 of any given item of value so that both would be equally worn as hand-me-downs - worked well with coats and nice tops from Boden. They are all wearing similar sizes now so it doesn't work

grannytomine · 20/01/2015 14:32

Made me laugh, my DIL loves the matching look. Her younger son will not wear the same as his brother, he has em....... expressed this view since before he could talk properly. Initially she was determined to win, fat chance.

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