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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to comment on this status

73 replies

Discopanda · 20/01/2015 00:06

A FB friend (more of a FB acquaintance) posted this status today-
I may well be in a minority here and yes I'm fully aware that it's a perfectly natural thing. But is there really any need to post pics on Facebook of breast feeding your baby? I'm more than aware that I may well stumble across it from time to time in a public place, but to consciously post it, I think says more like look at my tits than look at my adorable baby

3 women have told him basically to get his head out of his arse and he has compared bf pics on facebook to having a w*nk in public. I'm trying to decide whether or not to post something and thought I'd open it up to the jury of MN!

OP posts:

Cat2014 · 20/01/2015 10:17

Yes it's through less instances of childhood illness eg gastroenteritis. It's about £18 million I think, estimated.
And please don't accuse me of making sweeping statements. This is on a population level, not an individual one. I have no issue with mums choosing not to breastfeed, in fact I'm glad we have the choice! I have a problem with the fact that support is woefully inadequate and that breastfeeding is presented as weird or wrong by some idiots, thus making it 'taboo' and discouraging new mums from trying or persevering.

laughingmyarseoff · 20/01/2015 12:17

It's his fb he can post what he likes, just like these ladies can post what they like. He can remove the people doing it if he likes equally they can remove him.

I would just post about the normalising op or and even remove him. Anything posted to fb is to get likes and attention, if they feel strongly then good for then for posting.

if he does not like...remove them. They don't like...remove him.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 20/01/2015 12:24

Is he called Nigel? comment with a pic of a bluetit, that'll learn him

laughingmyarseoff · 20/01/2015 12:25

And I do think he is a knob but he has the right to be in his own fb. If he loses fb followers then that's his issue.

Goldmandra · 20/01/2015 12:29

Point out that people post pics of BFing online so that insecure men like him will start to get used to seeing it and stop worrying about babies being allowed to steal their toys.

AngelDreams · 20/01/2015 13:29

"The only exception would have been if I was that BF mum who was upside-down doing yoga and her daughter decided to feed. That is an awesome picture and I'd have had it blown up life size and hung in my front room "

I looked at that and thought attention seeking annoying look at me and staged

I'm not pro/anti bf, if you want to bf, go for it - if you want to put pics on fb of you dong it, again, people instagram their dinners, so why not...

SallySolomon · 20/01/2015 15:02

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, even if you don't agree with it. As they've posted a status airing controversial opinions, absolutely comment on it as why would they post if they weren't expecting someone to 'bite?'
Posting pictures of b/f babies on FB IS a bit 'look at me, look at meee' so your FB does kind of have a point there, however twattily it was put across....

Goldmandra · 20/01/2015 15:08

Posting pictures of b/f babies on FB IS a bit 'look at me, look at meee'

Maybe but isn't it great that people feel able to do this now. I'm very happy to see anything that normalises BFing publicly. We need to see more images of it so there is less prejudice against it.

The best outcome would be for it to be constantly plastered all over FB in a similar way to pictures of children in their new school uniform, on holiday or opening presents, then the next generation will grow up seeing it as perfectly normal and acceptable to BF in public. How lovely would that be?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/01/2015 15:10

what an idiot, I don't know where he is seeing them, because none are coming up on my Facebook.

Nocturne123 · 20/01/2015 15:18

Agree with Sally!

Greencurtain · 20/01/2015 15:20

I think it's odd to post pics of yourself breastfeeding. It isn't offensive, it's just a strange thing to post. I've breast fed all over the place for 2yrs but still wouldn't post a photo specifically of it.

I'm not sure the man questioning it does have his head up his arse. I think he's highlighting the fact that it's an odd thing to post, which it is.

(And my dc were only breast fed, always from the boob and never had a bottle or formula ever so I am pro breastfeeding!)

Anyway I'd stay out of a fb argument regardless. Fb = work of devil.

FightOrFlight · 20/01/2015 19:04

I looked at that and thought attention seeking annoying look at me and staged

I looked at it and thought 'I wish I could do a handstand'. I think it's a great picture, I'm not bothered whether it's staged or not. Any woman who is naked in a field, upside-down and breast feeding gets my admiration

I'm a bit of an old hippy though.

Yoga mum denies it was staged and having seen other pictures of her, her partner and their daughter I can believe it.

blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/breastfeeding-yoga-mom-photo-08062013-story/

AlfAlf · 20/01/2015 20:13

There have been a few breastfeeding photos that have been shared by thousands on fb recently, I've seen some shared by friends but not of them, just widely shared in a please-share-this-to-show-Facebook-we-support-breastfeeding way. It's become a political issue on fb because there have apparently been a lot of cases of fb banning and deleting pictures of breastfeeding while allowing very sexual photos remain. Some people are thinking "Why is a cute picture of my newborn breastfeeding being banned when naked pictures of Kim Kardashian's arse are not?".

LadyGlen · 20/01/2015 20:15

'Here's a picture of me taking a dump!'

Every. Bloody. Time.

I really am fed up with this being trotted out every time there is any talk of BF in public / FB photos or whatever.

It is not an appropriate analogy. It really, really isn't.
Eating a meal in public is comparable. I do that - don't you, simon?

FightOrFlight · 20/01/2015 20:32

Eating a meal in public is comparable. I do that - don't you, simon?

Maybe he shits on the table afterwards?

Goldmandra · 20/01/2015 20:44

The only reason people think it's odd to post a picture of yourself BFing is because we have been brought up to think it's something that should be done in private.

We want mothers to feel comfortable about BFing in public but still expect them to cover up and almost pretend they are not doing it.

If our culture was more accepting about BFing, it wouldn't be considered odd to share images of it any more than images of lots of other family/parenting activities.

Maybe, the more people post pictures of BFing, the more normal it will begin to feel and the more accepting our wider society will become.

Original poster

Discopanda · 21/01/2015 10:04

He posted again this morning saying he's sorry if he offended anyone and shouldn't have compared it to w*nking in public but he is standing by the rest of the post. I've commented- Part of the reason women post bf pics is to try to normalise it, nobody blinks twice at a baby having a bottle but as breasts have become over-sexualised, more and more people have seen public breastfeeding as offensive. A breastfeeding pic or doing it in public shows far less skin than wearing a bikini or most of the dresses people wear clubbing nowadays! As someone who breastfed for 14 months, I can vouch for how hard it is to feed in public without stares or even somewhere suitable to sit down. If you see a pic you don't like, just hide it.

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 21/01/2015 10:47

Good clear, reasoned reply, disco.

I hope he manages to give it some thought.

skylark2 · 21/01/2015 11:57

"Eating a meal in public is comparable."

I agree with that. I roll my eyes at people who post pictures of themselves eating meals in public too.

Nobody. Cares.

dingdongdonna · 21/01/2015 12:09

On one hand, pictures of breastfeeding do seem completely unnecessary to me - I don't want to see you shovelling your dinner into your mouth so why do I need to see your baby doing it? The hoo-hah caused by bf recently does seem to have led to the part-time-friends-of-the-earth brigade suddenly wanting to let us all know that they do it too - loud and proud. Aren't they just soooo rebellious and trendy!! Pretty unnecessary really.

However, the guy that posted that comparison is an arse. there were better arguments to make.

Original poster

Discopanda · 21/01/2015 12:17

Oh God, now he's comparing it to porn and saying that women are 'shoving their tits into people's faces'. I might just unfollow the post now.

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 21/01/2015 12:21

On one hand, pictures of breastfeeding do seem completely unnecessary to me

Whereas post pictures of your child doing other things is necessary?

Goldmandra · 21/01/2015 12:23

Oh God, now he's comparing it to porn and saying that women are 'shoving their tits into people's faces'.

Some people are beyond redemption.

They will remain ignorant and prejudiced while, hopefully, the majority of society makes progress towards a more mature and supportive view of BFing.

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