Very very long, sorry, but just want to offload:
Last week I went into my local branch of HSBC and (after a very long wait in the queue) said to the cashier "I'd like to see someone or make an appointment to open two bank accounts, one for my daughter and one for a group that I am treasurer for".
So he said ok I can set up an appointment, and consulted his screen, and then asked for this information and input it on the screen: first name, last name, dob, email, (at this point I said do I have to give all this info here and now just to get an appointment and he said "yes I have to create a form on the computer") landline no., mobile no, postcode, house number, confirm street name, date moved into current address, first name of dd, second name of dd, dob of dd etc etc. All while the queue stretched away behind me.
Then there was some kind of hiatus on the computer system and he more told me "Really sorry but computer says No. We are just a service branch here anyway so you'll have to go X branch (branch about 3 miles away) for the appointment, so can you phone them or go online?"
I said, yes I could do that (although why he didn't tell me my appointment would be at X branch at the start of the conversation, I'm not sure - because I might have wanted to choose another branch entirely) can you give me the direct line number of X branch so that I don't have to go through the central phone number for the whole group and all the annoying interminable options? So then he clearly googled for a few minutes and wrote the 0800 number for the whole of HSBC UK down anyway so I said thanks and left. 20 minutes of life I don't get back.
On Friday I phoned the number. I got through to a call centre in Wales. I said "I'd like to make an appointment at X branch to open 2 bank accounts ... etc". Righto, said the man in Wales, I just need to fill in a form ... he took all the same details as chap in branch, might not have got as far as my dd's details to be fair, and then said "Oh, I'm really really sorry but the computer seems to be down and I can't get your details accepted. Can I just put you on hold and I'll go through to our New Business department and they'll take over from me?"
So I said ok. Few minutes on hold.
New person on line "Hello Mrs Mintyy, I understand you want to make an appointment to open a new bank account?" Me: "Yes" Him: "Ok then" then we had to review all the info I'd given so far, then he tried to actually book an appointment with the X branch, then he came back and said "I'm sorry but I think we've got a computer problem, tell you what, give me your number and I'll get someone to call you back later."
So now I was slightly impatient and explained why I wasn't terribly impressed with my experience of trying to open a bank account with HSBC up to this point, pointed out that they already had both of my contact numbers (twice), provided my mobile number again and said I looked forward to hearing from a member of the team shortly so that they could book this appointment for me.
To date I haven't had a call.
That's really quite rubbish isn't it? (if you've managed to read this far 
)