was this innocent or should i report it to the school?

[whyareallthegoodnicknamestaken]

Decided to let ds walk to pick dd up with me today (he's 19 months...BIG mistake!!)
Got half way there, he wanted to be picked up... To cut a long story short I ended up exhausted and covered in dog poo..
on the way home I was less that happy and ended up trying to walk ds by his reins, and ended up carrying him again because he had touched my coat with the dog poo on.
so there I was walking down the street with a face like thunder covered in dog poo trying to carry ds whilst restraining him from putting his dog poopy hands in his mouth when an old man came up and was making polite converstation. He had noticed dd was from the local school, he then asked her what class she was in, and before I could intervene she had told him.
he seemed nice enough but I don't like the idea of him asking her what class she was in, am I being over protective?

Heaven Help Us!!

It does seem a bit of a random question for a stranger to ask but not sure what mentioning it to the school would achieve am assuming the school have all the usual safe guarding procedures etc

Hope you and your ds are dog poo free now!!

When people start off conversations like that round here it usually turns into an hour long reminisce about their own school days

That's exactly what I was thinking. School is often the only thing that elderly and young people know they'll have in common, so it's a perfectly normal conversation starter.

It must be hard being an older man sometimes. I'm sure an old lady wouldn't have aroused the same suspicion.

I'm just having a bad day, ended up walking home covered in shit, ds throwing himself on the floor and trying to not have to carry him and then I suppose my emotions might have been a little off..
I'm sure he was just a nice old man.

He's clearly a pedophile and dog poo fetishist.

The perv!

Christ, no wonder Brits are so often accused of not being child friendly

I should think most people are scared to have any kind of conversation with them

Maybe he wanted to report me for being a cruel mother I must have looked a bit bat shit crazy

'Dd was perfectly fine, walking along side me, not trailing behind whike her obviously awful mother couldn't cope'

Not pleasant being innocent and judged negatively by a stranger for it, is it?

Nerris would you feel this if it had been an old woman?

I'd be more concerned about the dog poo TBH.

I used to meet a lovely old man when walking my dogs in the local park. He would keep dog biscuits in his pocket and my dogs would totally ignore me and make a beeline straight for him. He would always give them biscuits and lots of attention. I'm now wondering if he was into beastiality. Then again, he would talk to all the little children that would know him because their mums/dads would go over to retreave their dogs. OMG, he was a monster! May have got slightly carried away

To cut a long story short.. I got covered in dog poo

It could have been that he saw you were struggling and in his own way was trying to make it a bit better for you?
Some years ago my very lovely kind neighbours were hauled into our local school which was at the back of our houses and told they were not to stand in their garden watching their grandson playing football at lunchtime! They were absolutely horrified and embarrassed.

Different generations have different ideas about what may or may not be seen as 'strange' by others. I think we have become a society that thinks a paedo is lurking around every corner.

I had to have a word with my Dad recently (in his 80's) as he was planning to give scooters/bikes/toy cars etc. that my boys outgrew to random mothers walking past with their toddlers. He just saw it as being nice and that they would get some use from the (good condition and good quality) items.

I had to explain that the mums might see it differently (old man they don't know popping out of his house offering their kids toys!). He was shocked and saddened at the thought that his actions could be seen as anything other than kind/altruistic. I was sad to have to explain it to him too when his intentions were perfectly innocent

He comes from a generation when people not only talked to, but helped strangers with neither party thinking it was anything other than common decency.

What exactly do you think this man could do with the information? Does him knowing the class (which he probably immediately forgot) mean he can enter the school and kidnap your child?

All those who think that strangers speaking to children are inappropriate, you do realise don't you, that most children are abused by people they know? And all those putting the fear of God into their kids about strangers and how terribly dangerous they are, you do know that if you teach your children how dangerous strangers are, if they ever get lost, they are more likely to come to harm because of the fear of asking for help?

And you do realise that children who get lost are more likely to come to harm because well-meaning strangers are unlikely to help them because of hysterical overreactions from people like the op and others?

Wow wash your brain if that poo, you have left go if your senses . Report what! To the Police! What are you going to tell them he did wrong

I can understand that he caught you at a bad moment, but I think you are overreacting. It sounds like he was just making polite conversation/small talk. Perhaps he has a child/grandchild at the school, or knows someone who works there, or even went there himself.

Nerris would you feel this if it had been an old woman?

In my own personal experience, no I wouldn't. No strange women have been reported hanging around outside schools/attempting to snatch/assault young children in my area. So the evidence kind of speaks for itself in my case anyway.
The chances are it was innocent, but I do find it slightly odd that the OP is getting berated quite so much just for being protective. You or I have no idea if he was an opportunistic perv or not, so Imo it's best to err on the side of ccaution.

Wannabe i'd rather my kids be wary of strangers full stop. It doesn't make me hysterical, it's just not something I'm comfortable with.
We all parent in different ways and tthink we know best ;).

Paedophiles dragging children off outside a school in broad daylight only happens on Facebook for local mums to 'share' and get hysterical over and call each other Hun. It seems to me, I get lots of people sharing scare stories and 90% of te time it is utter nonsense. Nonce sense.

The opinions here confuse me.

A mother is worried won't send her 12 year old to a pub toilet on his own. too right, there are pedophiles on every corner

A mother is worried about a conversation with a man. what makes you think there are pedophiles on every corner?

A mother won't let her child sit next to a lone male on a flight. too right, all men are pedophiles

Which one is it?

(In my opinion there aren't pedophiles on every corner but then I've been told that the fact that I have failed in every attempt to have a child means that I am not entitled to an opinion)

Nancy raygun, I take it that was aimed at me. No need to be crudely sarky. I am happy to link to a news article relating to the abduction if you like I mentioned. I didn't make it up to be "hysterical". Hun.

Not sure what you're saying, Pipbin.

I would give the same answer to all those things (and in fact made a formal complaint to BA about their policy regarding lone children and single men), that most abuse is in the home, 'stranger danger' is hugely overstated, and that we get most out of life by trusting people unless given reason not to.

Presumably you're saying that MN is not of one mind on everything? Why should it be?

OP an elderly person asking a child questions about school and classes is not uncommon. My dad used to be found hanging around primary schools (picking up my children) and I'm sure a few mothers eyed him suspiciously. He's the loveliest grandpa a child could have and would be pretty devastated by that knowledge.

Generally I think you have to take your suspicions seriously and try to isolate what exactly has rung an alarm bell. In this case the recent media coverage of so many historic cases has shown one old man after another causing your connection. It's irrational and unfair to old men. Plus you have to remember that when these cases occurred, these men were in their 25-50s. (A whole new age group to fear :) )

Yes, YABU