To ask how people in high-stakes jobs cope with the pressure?

[marvellousmistermars]

I have just qualified as a solicitor, which is something I've studied and worked for for ages, but now I'm not sure whether it's what I want to do. I work in a big firm which does corporate law and the hours and pressure are considerable.

I'm constantly terrified of making a mistake, to the point where I have started checking things obsessively (like 5 or 6 times when logically I know it is OK). I feel like I could so easily make a mistake and cost the firm thousands, if not millions, especially when I've been working for 15 hours straight.

The culture is fairly macho (although not too bad for the type of firm) so I don't feel like I can tell any colleagues how I feel or ask for their advice. I don't think HR will be able to help much - maybe I'm just not cut out for it?

It's got to the point where I am constantly anxious about work things, often when there's no specific need to be worried. My nerves aren't good anyway, as I have had problems with anxiety in the past and also PTSD-type issues and I'm conscious that with a bit too much pressure these things could become a real issue.

Just hoping for some advice from anyone who has a similar type of job. I'm aware that I'm very early on in my career and am hoping that I can improve things.

Have a look at a book called secret thoughts of successful women, it's about imposter syndrome and I think it might help.

As others have said checklists and ask for help. Even in a macho environment there must be someone who you look on as a mentor, maybe approach one of the more senior women in the organisation?

I'm another solicitor.

Firstly, you will make a mistake at some point in your career but it will not cost your firm millions because their indemnity insurance will pick up the tab. Worst case they may lose a client and their premiums go up. Accepting this may make life easier.

Second, you're an NQ. You'll have under a year experience in your chosen area. You are expected to make lots of mistakes (and when you do the buck will stop with the partner supervising you - that's why he/she gets paid the big bucks). There is no magic to qualification, just as you were learning when you were a trainee, so you are now and will be for some time. In a big firm you won't be expected to be more independent until you are about 4 PQE.

Checking things is good (unless this has become a complete obsession) so don't worry about doing it. Nothing more annoying than checking a juniors work to find it full of obvious mistakes. Just make sure to ask whenever there is something you are unsure of.

The fear of mistakes aside, it sounds like you are also struggling with the long hours and 'macho' culture? That's more difficult to deal with and it will only get worse as your career progresses.

Are you in corporate? Might be worth considering moving to an area with more regular hours (property, private client...) or, if you want to stay in the same area, to a different type of firm (West End rather than City maybe?).

My friend is a senior commanding officer in the military. If he gets it wrong, people die.
I don't know how he sleeps at night!

Yes to organisation and just in case snacks eg Museli bar, nuts,bottle water
I lay out the week outfits in advance.
Pack bag night before
Lay out kids clothes for the week in advance
Have a diary i use
Iphone sync with my work diary

I'm not so sure it does get easier with time. Yes, it's true that you acquire legal knowledge and develop your client skills as time passes. You also have more credibility when you can say you've done the job for years, which is helpful when dealing with clients. However, as you become more experienced, the stakes become higher as you're dealing with more complex legal issues, transactions that involve more money, clients who are more important to the firm etc.

Corporate law is notoriously long hours & hectic. If you are newly qualified and already finding it seriously stressful (as opposed to the usual nerves), then I'd suggest you consider if this is really for you and be open to a change of direction eg to a different area of law, a smaller firm, professional support lawyer etc. The pay is likely to be lower, but that may be a compromise that's work taking.

It's good to be stretched, but not stretched beyond what you feel capable of

Stimulated is good,and there a buzz with being hectic but ine need to like it
Find your niche,a specialism that works for you,suits your temprement and ability
Can you network with other solocitors?do you have a good confidant?
And i agree experience can in fact make demands higher stake

Just seen your post about feeling under-supervised. Do raise this with your firm. If you don't feel comfortable doing it now then bring it up at your next review.

Remember firms invest a lot of money in getting you to qualification so they will want to help you. Also once you've told them that you've covered your arse should a mistake go unnoticed by your supervisor ;-)

I work in a job where people could die if I fuck up. People sometimes die or are seriously harmed anyway, unrelated to anything that I should have/could have done, and my practice is heavily scutinised. The first day that I went back to work after Christmas I had to deal with something along those lines. In my experience, the people that cope best are the people who can switch off when work is over. People I know who have been off sick for months with stress have been the types that haven't been able to do that, and they become absolutely consumed by the job. To a certain extent, you can't really help which of these you naturally are, but you could improve things by taking some of the advice already offered in this thread re separating work and the rest of your life.

Working as a solicitor in a big corporate law firm is no place to be if you are an anxious person (as I am!). The stress (and expectation) only gets worse.

My advice to you is to stay put until you are 2 years PQE, then move in-house. Most in-house jobs (take time to find the right one) are lower pressure and fewer hours.

If you decide now that that is your plan, you will probably feel much less stressed about your job now and will be able to stick at it for another couple of years, knowing there is an exit in sight.

Good luck... I have been there!

Very good prescription medication helps enormously.

There is nothing more terrifying than being an NQ and no longer having the "I don't know what I'm talking about" footer of "Trainee Solicitor" at the bottom of your emails. It is so daunting. And then you do things for the second or third time and it becomes more familiar. And you gradually realise that everyone senior to you has probably made quite a major mistake at some point in their career and, if not, has been on a deal where one has been made and it isn't life or death but becomes a good anecdote.
If you're not closely supervised by the person supervising you, is there a friendly mid level person or PSL who you can bounce ideas off. I often have juniors who don't work for me traipsing into my office to ask a random question as they know that - most of the time - I will listen & guide them in the right direction. If that doesn't work, emailing your supervisor & saying "please can we discuss X as I'm not sure what I should do" does pass the buck firmly into his/her court.

Every solicitor will have fucked up at some stage. Might be a big one or it might be a small one but if it hasn't happened then it will happen at some point in their career. Tell your supervisor the minute you realise you've made a reportable mistake. It then becomes their issue and you've followed the correct procedure in reporting the problem.

I know of a lawyer who hid problem files in the ceiling of the office and was only discovered when the ceiling collapsed. This is not a good strategy to adopt

Life as a solicitor is stressful though. You will become used to it.

Yes, I would agree with coming clean the moment you realise that you have made a mistake. There's usually some way of rectifying it, or minimising the damage.

Also, what you think is a massive unresolvable mistake, someone with more experience will know how to deal with. If you have made a mistake, tell someone immediately but if you can't face telling your supervisor, tell someone else more senior than you as they can probably think of some solutions which means you can then go to your supervisor & say "X has happened bit we can do A, B or C" to sort it out.

Atticuslaw, that's funny, I knew someone (not solicitor) who hid problem files in her loft at home, who was of course eventually found out! Whenever we had a tricky client after that, we used to refer to them as "an xxxxx's loft client".

OP, there's been some good advice here. Remember that quote "experience is the name men give to their mistakes"

Agree we ALL make mistakes, someone mentioned professional indemnity which (although it seems unprofessional) is good to remember in the background. A lovely exboss of mine, when we had a serious fuck up (not mine!) said to the fuckerupper, "at least I'm getting something back for all the PI premiums I've paid." He also said to me when I made a fuck up, "every one of us will make a mistake, that's forgivable. It's only unforgivable if you make the same one again". It's true!

Typing this has made me realise how important it was to have a good management behind you. I worked in a profession that had possible criminal consequences if you fucked up and eventually I learnt to do it, check it and forget it but it was hard to start, only you know if it will get easier or if it's just not quite the right job for you. At least you have plenty of options.

I am also a lawyer. I found things got tougher as I got higher up as the expectations were greater and I was expected to take more responsibility.

But I know other lawyers who have found it gets easier as you get more confident in the role. It depends on the person I think.

If you can stick it out until say 3 years PQE your options will increase - i.e. going in house, Government Legal Service (although I think they actually recruit at all levels), teaching on the LPC/GDL. There are also PSL roles but I imagine you would need to be at least 5 years PQE for that kind of thing.

There are other options out there and I know lots of people who have quit the City to do other things. Good luck.

I totally understand this feeling - it's all-consuming.

I used to work in corporate PR. I was agencyside rather than inhouse, so had multiple accounts that I either managed, co-managed or contributed to.

It was hell. Utter hell. I was there just over two years and HATED it.

Heart palpations, stress coming from all angles. Lying in bed dreading the next morning, long hours, micro-managing bosses and clients who knew fuck all about PR but still felt the need to nitpick every decision, every result. I even went to the doctor for Valium at one point.

I said I'd give it a year and if I still hated it, I'd move on. It took me much longer than I imagined to find the right next job, in the right place, so I ended up being there two years in the end.

I now work inhouse - I do the same job with less than 0.5% of the stress I had before. I love my job and am grateful I did the old one (now) because it shows me how easy I have it.

I suggest you give yourself a time limit on how long you can stick it and bail after. I don't regret it at all. It helps massively thinking 'I won't be here this time next year' and 'only 6 months to go'. Think of it as CV glossing, not your forever job.

Sorry I did not come back to the latest helpful replies. Work has been all-consuming! I am still finding it very stressful. Every day I make some kind of mistake/misunderstanding/omission - none of which have had any consequences but I really hate the feeling!

I am really unsure whether I am cut out for this. I think I react much worse to things going slightly wrong than other people. Being anxious makes me feel physically ill, I totally lose my appetite and can't eat all day which of course doesn't help. In the past month I have taken co-codamol not for pain relief but in an attempt to calm down. After working 13-17 hours a day for a couple of weeks, I now need a whiskey before bed in order to sleep comfortably. This is not good!

I love law, but don't think high-pressured private practice City stuff is necessarily right for me. I guess I need to stick it out a couple of years for my CV to look right though...

I have a another recommendation for you... bit niche but have you thought about working at an offshore law firm in London? I did Cayman law at the London office of a top Cayman/BVI firm, and it was awesome. The work is really easy (I mean, REALLY easy), the hours are great and the pay was spectacular (much much better than Magic Circle rates). It's so much nicer and friendlier than working in a big firm. If you work in corporate, funds or finance I would definitely look into it.

I was a trainee at a top magic circle firm then stayed till about 5 years PQE (a while ago now! I now work at a well regarded national firm as a PSL).

1. You've got NQ syndrome. It's normal. You are being asked to take on a lot of responsibility with little experience and little status within the firm. Feeling anxious is a normal response to being in that situation. Especially in a prestigious firm where everyone is clever and talented and there is a competitiveness/macho thing.

1. Everyone makes mistakes. You will find every partner has made some almighty cock up at some point. Its what the insurance is for! Every lawyers senior to you knows what it is like being an NQ. Because of this most people are sympathetic if you do cock up. And the few that aren't are t*ts, so stuff them!

1. Make sure you copy your supervisors in and give them the opportunity to guide you. Be proactive in obtaining supervision, then if you do make a cock up you can show you tried your best to get guidance.

1. If you do cost the firm thousands, don't worry too much. They have a business model based on having lots of young cheap lawyers doing a lot of the work. They have to factor in the risk that things may go wrong. They have insurance. And when profits per partner will be £1m plus, should you really have to be having anxiety issues about a small mistake? No. The reality is (and I hope you find this reassuring rather than a put-down) is that you are a very small cog in a big wheel and there are lots of other little cogs just like you. If you represented a major risk to the firm they would soon be on to you and they wouldn't let you do the work you're doing.

1. You don't have to stay there forever. Its great to get experience at a big firm and it will stand you in great stead to have it on your CV. But there are LOTS AND LOTS of legal careers which are far less stressful and family friendly (not sure if you've got to that point yet). So don't panic and think "this is it forever! I have to be THIS kind of person!" because it may well not be. You will have a lot of choices once you have two or three more years experience behind you. Perhaps you aren't a City Firm type. God knows I wasn't.

1. It does sound you are an anxious person (though it is normal for everyone to be anxious as an NQ) and maybe you could seek counselling or therapy for that. It does sound from your post that you take an awful lot onto your own shoulders and you are highly conscientious and worried about letting people down. Those are great traits to have, but not to the extent that they cause a nervous breakdown. In the working world you do have to learn to set boundaries around how much can be fairly expected from you and be alright with that in your own head and heart. At the moment The Firm sounds like it is a giant Monster in your head, which you must constantly slave to please all hours that god sends and which you must never upset by making a mistake. You can't go on like that for next 5 years. It's just a law firm, try your best, be committed and diligent but don't kill yourself over it, please! If you went into therapy you'd probably find a whole host of reasons for why you have created this Monster to which you are so beholden.

Good luck!

I also agree that as you get more experienced you develop an intuition/feel for risky things - you start to know what you can let drift a bit and what really needs your attention (because you can't attend to everything!)

I also agree with the poster who said "no-one's going to die". She put it a bit bluntly but no one is going to die. All your clients have loads of money, the firm has loads of money, the greatest risk is embarrassment and an insurance claim or litigation. Not the end of the world - to be employed at a big firm you must have a good CV and plenty of options in life even if you made such an almighty mistake they kicked you out.

In the legal world we do get a bit self absorbed about our high stress jobs and although the other poster was a bit blunt it is worth while remembering that nurses who have been on their feet for 12 hours and who are paid a pittance have to get it right when they are giving drugs and caring for others - and there can be REAL serious consequences if they cock up.

I am not trying to make you feel bad, I'm trying to reassure you that nothing too bad can happen. If you have your health, and your mental health, then nothing else really matters esp. if you have a good CV as you must do.

Bumpsadaisie - thanks. It has actually really helped to remember that the way firms make money is to take a calculated risk in delegating down to the least qualified person who can actually do the job competently, on the basis that they will probably not fuck it up but even if they do the firm is more profitable than having more expensive more qualified lawyers doing easier stuff.

I have also been reading 'Secret Thoughts of Successful Women' recommended on here, which is pretty good despite the cheesy title!

Possibly ironic trying to answer this one... but you did ask about doctors etc, and speaking as one who nearly burned out last year...(no patients harmed... but that is always the risk if we cock up).

Learn to say no. Learn to accept that you're human, working in an imperfect system, and can't do better than your absolute best. Learn to prioritise what is most important... not always what you're being hassled about the most. Desperately hang onto some sort of me time that isn't just collapsing in front of the TV/computer - preferably something that involves getting out in the fresh air, and tiring yourself out enough to sleep. Plan out holidays so you always have time off to look forward to. If you think there's a problem ask for help before it goes pearshaped.

Most useful time management tool I ever came across: imagine a grid, 2 by 2. 1st box is important and urgent. 2nd box is important but not urgent. Then across the bottom you have 3 not important but urgent, and 4th neither urgent nor important. Box 4 work doesn't matter. It's a waste of time. Box 1 work is your biggest priority. But you need to keep nibbling away at box 2 work, whenever you get a chance, so it doesn't move into box 1 and overwhelm you. Oh, and box 3 ...you might need to do a bit of work on to get people of your back, but the minimum possible, as it isn't important. And you need your energy, focus and drive on what is important.

Do you have any friends outside the firm at the same level/stage as you? Obviously you won't be going around gossiping about confidential info (!), but hearing that they feel the same as you would probably help.

Good luck.

I am 1.5 yrs PQE and know how you feel! My top tip is to learn meditation- really helps me switch of at night (and in the day if I get panicky!) Try something like Bach Rescue Remedy- some people I know swear by it, anything to keep you calm!

Try to pause and map something through before starting- e.g I need to read the contract, call the client to confirm queries, and then draft memo for partner - don't just plunge into reading, then realise you haven't noted queries for client IYSWIM?!

In addition to organisation suggestions upthread, I have painkillers, tights, antiallergy meds, plasters etc in my drawer- cuts out a lot of the worry when you don't have time to pop out!