My MIL Got Me A New Job & I Hate It (Lighthearted)

[UKSky]

For Christmas my DMIL got me a new job. I don't want it, don't need it and don't have enough time as is required to do it properly.

According to my "Manager" it's a job in retail. Everyday, I have to stack the shelves, assist the customers in choosing their shopping, man the till and take their money. Then I have to pack it.

To make matters worse, the shop is tiny; it has too many shelves and too much stock for the space. All of the customers are a bit wobbly on their feet and if they so much as touch one of my lovingly made displays the whole lot ends up in a heap on the floor.

And, despite starting work on Christmas Day, I have no contract and not yet been paid. And the hours are crap. I am "expected" to work from about 7am for an hour. Then from 4pm for an hour or two

What can I do? I feel this is going to get worse as my "Manager" will most likely be acquiring more properties and customers over the coming years, but there is unlikely to be a staff increase.

And yesterday, the new loos arrived and I am expected to help the customers use the loo, wipe their bums and help them wash their hands.

There will be bus arriving soon to take all the customers to the beach, and I expect I am going to have to drive the bus to the beach, help then undress and build them sandcastles, as well as making a picnic.

There really just aren't enough hours in the day.

AIBU to ask the "Manager" to stop bossing me about and do some of the bloody work herself?

I've just been recruited. I don't get any wages, but if I did they would be ploughed straight back into the company as I am forced to buy brick shaped parts of cakes which all cost "penty" (£20)

I've worked in many of these types of establishments over the years it always ended in tears....my tears.
From the sheer rudeness from my dictator Manager with pointing, screaming and foot stamping when I wasn't working fast enough to the 'customers' throwing their shopping at me while I totalled up the bill it was a terrifying experience.

My manager has decided to open some sort of cafe, and i dont know if she has the right skills to be honest. There is a lot of cake going on (and a lot of it looks like toast), the kettle is also used as a serving dish and i have never had fish, cake and hairbrush stew before. Then again she could be the next heston Blumenthal.

I wouldn't have minded shop work, I landed a job moving passengers with random forestry work on some days and if I was extra lucky, when a farm emerged, cattle and sheep. I was hoping for a few perks like free uniform and travel but tbh the train driver/station master/controller wore the only hat and route was more than a bit predictable.

When I picked up something to read a stern voice said reprovingly, "We're not finished yet!"

need to send the manager on a training course where they can learn form other managers of similar experience... I think they are entitled to about fifteen hours per week training, although to qualify they need to have three years experience.

Don't worry. In 10 years time, your Manager will have promoted you to Head Driver and you will even get to act as a bank that never closes. The hours will remain erratic and will largely depend on the mood of your manager. You'll miss your days in that shop but the quality of food from the cafe will greatly improve. You'll even be able to eat some of it.

I shop at a branch of this store and am frankly baffled by its pricing policy. It seems that all items and combinations of items cost "one penny" - and yet I don't get change from £20.

I was promised a delicious lunch at one of these restaurants. I waited with drooling mouth while they cooked it - the way they described it sounded wonderful!

Then I got it. An empty plate with a fork
When I protested, I was told "You have to pretend!"

I've a good mind to complain to Trading Standards!

I used to work in a similar such establishment. It only ever sold tinned goods, at quite ridiculous prices. £10 for a tin of beans!

My manager then moved onto running a cafe at which I was expected to spend 24/7 and vast amounts of money, eating weird concoctions.

My manager now expects me to work manufacturing loom band bracelets, I have to buy all the materials, send myself cross eyed working out how to make the blooming things, then buy them from her.

Get your manager to diversify into wooden railways. I found those much more rewarding. Although my manager was a bit too keen on causing major traffic disasters whilst I was concentrating on achieving the railway version of spaghetti junction.

I'm so glad I am not alone in this enforced work slavery. Unfortunately, the Manager already attends full time education, hence the bossiness I suppose as I am expected to work unsupervised whilst she improves her social skills.

Also, this supermarket, whilst it has full stock, when it arrives at the shop has no labels on, so each item has to be labelled.

My customers are slightly different as they are actually dressed, miniature animals. Although why a kangaroo would need to buy wine, I don't know. Unfortunately, I am unable to consume the stock of wine in the store as there is no cork screw.

But it seems I have the evening off, as my Manager has just spent her Christmas money and has taken on the the services of an engineer, who is just now building an ice palace with really small blocks. Although, I fear that in the near future this will be turned into an ice hotel for her furry customers, and my services will be required to make blankets, hats and scarves to keep them all warm.

I think you need to recruit MIL as a co worker!

I had lunch at this cafe today and the chef/wAitress shat herself while serving my stew. Then insisted I clean it up.

Honestly I have had enough of her Del Boy esq money making ventures. There was the nursery but all those babies were out naked in all weathers. Then she insisted she was a qualified doctor but I'm not so sure. She had a very cursory listen to my chest then injected my skull as apparently I wasn't eating enough vegetables. It's hard to have a balanced diet though if the chef at your local cafe can't control their bowels and only serves endless cups of tea.....

munchkinmaster I well remember those days. Thankfully my Manager is now able to control herself much better.

You need a bit more training, as mine now offers wine as well as tea, and is quite happy to share her chocolate.

These are my current places of employment. The bus seems to have a jacuzzi on the top deck. So, with that and the supermarket selling wine, chocolate and ice cream, I fear that the customers may be partying once the Manager has retired to bed for the evening.

I have recently taken been given a job in a cafe. Thing is, the Manager insists she doesn't want to open on Saturdays, or before 10am, and she closes for lunch...surely I will be out of a job soon :(

Also, despite there being a wide range of ingredients available the cafe only serves 'rost porck and aple sors'. I am vegetarian. And hungry.

Still it's better than working for my manager in teacher-mode, who reads out the register and I just have to answer 'here Mrs x'. It's the actual class register, all 30 of them. That game gets old fast.

YANBU OP. DSIL once bought DD Barbie's supermarket for Christmas. 1000 pieces of crap stock, everyone of which had to have a sticker individually stuck on it by hand. I am still finding bits of it around the house and DD is 22 next month.

Now the Manager has retired for the evening, after instructing her engineer in the exact specification of the new Ice Palace, Olaf is partying with the rabbits and kangaroos. Wine is being supped in large quantities, there is debauchery abounding in the jacuzzi and I think Mrs Rabbit and Mr Kangaroo are about to create a new species. There may be photographic evidence in the Daily Mail tomorrow with divorce proceedings being issued by the injured parties.

And who is going to have to clear up after this debauched group before the Manager puts in an appearance in the morning. Me, that's who!!

I think I have too much time on my hands in the evening

I have to sing in a choir whilst my 'boss' waves her hands around pretending to conduct. I am also in a dance troupe with a very bossy choreographer (who gives herself all the best moves) I have recently been engaged as a minibus driver for the 'school'. The minibus my car breaks loads of H & S rules as we squish a class of thirty in it- there are six on the back seat, six wedged in the front footwell , eight in the boot and ten on the roofrack that we don't actually have. I am thinking of reporting the HT but she is very cute so I don't want her to get into trouble.

I shiver as I remember my days at The Shop. Fierce manager, hands on hips and glaring at every misdemeanour, nothing was ever right and I was useless and didn't know how to pretend.

My time at the leper theme park where everyone's leg or arm fell off, thanks ELC was equally short lived.

My local caffaaaay charges FIFTY POUNDS for a cup of coffee. But the salmon and chicken come free.

Yes -I too remember frequenting a similar establishment with a male manager some 14 years ago. It was like being served by a cross between Jeremy paxman and basil fawlty. God alone knows what union he was in - one that deemed giving old bus tickets as legal tender as perfectly respectable. The goods would have shamed east Germany circa 1970, the produce was licked and services terminated when the teletubbies came on.

Ha, you think that's bad? Do not, whatever you do, give in your notice and go to work I the cafe. He is a slave driver that one, his 'nicecuppatea' patter hides a terrible work ethic, there's never any change and the cake is rock hard!

Hmm, it seems the main issue here is understaffing and I would suggest your mananger should contact her paternal grandmother about taking on some weekend shifts.

I've had several similar jobs over the years. All my managers have changed sectors, they all seem to have quite senior roles in computers and my expertise is rarely called for these days.

Excellent OP, I was half way through it and thinking thoughts along the lines of telling mil to shove her job where the sun don't shine and then the penny dropped!

My local shop tried to charge me $30million for a packet of baby wipes. Will not be shopping there again

I spent a lot of time over the years eating at a really rubbish cafe. I was given sippy cups of water or juice to drink and force fed crackers, some of which seemed a bit soggy. Luckily that cafe has closed now. I don't ever want to eat there again.
I spent time as an indentured servant to a builder who would insist I try to hold up his buildings and got really mad if I let one fall. Then he'd take a break, sit me on the couch and perform some sort of cabaret act that had to be watched in it's entirety or it would be repeated over and over.