To insist DS(6) tries pre-booked club at least once?

[grumpalumpgrumped]

DS(6) really wanted to book an after school club activity. I booked it as it seemed something he would like. He has since decided he doesn't want to go. First session today, que crying, refusing to go to school. I have insisted he goes once at least. He struggles socially so may be nerves, so do push him to try things.

Feel really guilty now, left him in tears at school (his lovely teacher took over and sent me on my way).

AIBU? Or just a horrible mum!

I'd have left it tbh, unless you won't get the money back. He quite clearly doesn't want to do it so what's the point in forcing him? Not a battle worth having to me.

Dd changed her mind about an ASC last week but I said she had to do it once. Lots of grumbling.
She really enjoyed it and is excited about this week. I think yanbu

Some would send him, some wouldn't. You know him best.

I would send my DC because if they seemed really keen in the first place I wouldn't want nerves to hold them back from getting involved with something they might love. If they went once and hated it, they wouldn't have to go again.

I would bribe him with a treat to just go and have a look. No pressure to join in.

After that, I wouldn't push it. He's a bit young to realise the financial implications. I think this is a lesson learned for you really. Don't sign him up for anything that he can't try first.

I think a lot of us will have learned this the hard way, myself included.

Yanbu. He wanted to do it, you booked and paid for it as a result. I'd insist not only that he goes at least once but goes to at least 5, or the full course if you've booked that. Otherwise how will he learn that money doesn't grow on trees and that if you say you'll do something you'll do it?

If he hadn't asked to and you'd just decided to book it my response would be different and I'd say fair enough don't make him go. But he asked to, therefore he goes.

I would tell my ds that he must attend the first session to at least see if he enjoys it. If after the first session he still didnt want to go then I'd allow him to stop. Same approach I take with food...try it and if you don't like it then fine don't eat anymore.

I'm a big meanie - I make DS do anything he say he wants to for the whole term. Even once isn't enough for them to decide they like it.

Have you tried talking to him about what he is anxious about and discussing what he would do in that situation?

Or bribery?

DS has not wanted to do clubs but not to the point of crying about it so I'm not sure if I would make him go. My only concern with not expecting him to try it is that it might reinforce his anxiety (whatever it is) and from here on in you're stuff with him knowing he can always back out.

It is horrible to see them unhappy but being so scared of doing something, presumably fairly benign, can;t be making him happy either.

I am with you on this one OP. If DS asks to do something we have the 'are you sure' discussion and if he is adamant he gets the 'no pulling out until you have been once' talk. He wanted to drama when he was five. We booked a free taster then he changed his mind but I still explained that he had to go, he had wanted to and he was taking another kid's place up so he had to try. His job was to tell me why he didn't like it, like a reporter (DS loves doing 'reporting back'-strange kid!)

Two years later and he has done drama every week apart from school holidays. Absolutely loves it. He knows that if he does something once and doesn't like it he is entitled to drop out but it's never happened with any activities he does because that rule makes him really think hard before he asks to book it.

I'd stick to my guns.

I also think it depends on what's involved in 'making him go'.

For my dd, I would get lots of moans and groans about how mean I am, but she would do it. She would then probably love it, or at least stick out the whole 10 lessons.

For ds, I would have to drag him kicking and screaming and then get someone to peel him off and pin him down while I legged it. Which, obviously, isn't really ideal. He would be a big snotty mess for hours afterwards and still hate it the following week as he's a stubborn little bugger.

As a pp said, you know him best.

If he agreed in the first place then yes I would send him... I did this with my DS with an activity with limited places though school don't charge.. He decided he didn't want to go so I sad go one more week if you don't like it you can drop it but when activity comes round again I won't book it for you I will let someone else have the place.

Yanbu if lo has asked to do something we encourage to go for 3 weeks if still doesn't want to go we knock it on the head.

Thanks all. He went straight from school so no more dramas, Picked him up......he loved it! Little bugger.

lol ..glad he enjoyed it...