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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get this cat neutered.

46 replies

Drunkendonut · 19/01/2015 00:21

We have one neutered male cat ourselves and a lovely cat flap that invariably means we get the odd neighbourhood cat in.
Anyway, a large tom has appeared to have taken a shine to our house. He's fat enough but a bit mangy and scabby, half his ear missing. He's very friendly and dd adores him.
No collar so I made a few enquiries and believe he belongs to a young lad who has a few and let's them breed like the proverbial. The lady I spoke to has reported him to the RSPCA but he's not actually abusing the animals so they're not bothered.
He apparently kicks the cat out for a bit when he gets sick of it. Hence he's come (quite a way really) to ours.
I live in a small village and am 99% sure this is the same cat.
Would ibu to take him to the vets and have him 'done'? I feel quite strongly that there are too many unwanted cats around and if he's going to be hanging around ours, I'd rather he was spayed.

Would it be theft?? Of a cat? A cats balls?
This man apparently threatened the girl who was feeding the cat last time and threw something at her window so I'm not keen to ask....

OP posts:

Hatespiders · 19/01/2015 08:40

I've done this a few times over the years. Poor scraggy strays hanging around (We too live in the countryside) I've just told the vet the cat is a stray and I've no idea who initially had him. All mine have settled beautifully with our own cats after a week of hissing and huffing. You could also get the chap de-flead and wormed, and an 'MOT' (ears, teeth etc).

Neutered males can still spray (our Siamese do, the horrors) but it doesn't have that eye-watering quality you get with toms.
If you decide not to take him in (aww, please do though ) have you thought about an electronic cat flap? Your own cat wears a special collar which opens the cat flap, and no other cat can get in.

The man who 'kicks him out' sounds a swine and I'm not surprised the poor cat voted with his feet. Could you get the man neutered?

BathshebaDarkstone · 19/01/2015 09:28

Love it, Hatespiders! I'd take him in and get him neutered.

FightOrFlight · 19/01/2015 09:43

I may have misread the situation.

When you said the owner 'kicks him out' I assumed you meant the cat roams about during the day and then returns to his owner at night.

If you mean that the owner kicks the cat out for days or weeks on end and you plan to adopt the cat permanently then that's a different story.

If you get him de-nadded you will need to keep him inside for a week or so after the op.

worldgonecrazy · 19/01/2015 09:53

Take him to the vets as a stray - the vet can then claim back the cost of the operation from the RSPCA or PDSA.

I have done this with several toms and not been charged by the vet. They did tend to make a bolt for it once they were back from the vets so we didn't end up having lots of cats, but at least we had done our bit to keep the population down.

One of them, a definite stray/wild cat, viscious ginger tom, who was causing a lot of problems to the local cat and dog population, turned back up 6 months later looking gorgeous and well-cared for. Obviously de-nadding him had a positive effect on his personality and he had found someone to look after him.

lljkk · 19/01/2015 09:58

What Knackered said above ^^.
Being an intact roaming Tom is awful, they end up in a pitiful state & die young.

Hatespiders · 19/01/2015 13:21

I took in one I called Solo. He was in a dreadful state. His tabby fur was coming out in handfuls and he was standing in the snow lifting up one foot after the other as each one froze. He was nervous but I kept tempting him with food and bit by bit he edged in. Once he was calmer and had slept in a cat bed by the radiator, I got him off to the vet, who neutered him and did everything possible to decontaminate the poor lad. Weeks later he was a tubby little tabby with a big smile and spent every minute he could wangle draped round my neck like a scarf. That cat worshipped me and my dh. The others soon got used to him and cuddled up to him in their big bed. He had more fur than the Siamese so he was useful as a rug.
Sadly, Solo later got serious liver disease and had to be pts, but we had about 5 yrs with him, and at least he was loved and happy.

Original poster

Drunkendonut · 19/01/2015 14:02

Aww hatespiders I feel like this big guy will be the same. He's so friendly and vocal! It's like he's talking to me!! He meows when I talk to him in the gaps in conversation!
fight he's here all night every night. I have 4 dd who adore him and have him on their beds which is another reason I feel I need to get him sorted.
He disappears during the day but I feel like he's decided to stay now. It's been about 6 months and when it was warmer I chased him out and we didn't see him too much. Now it's been colder the last month or so he's pretty much living here.
I'm just conscious he's not 'ours' but since his owner sounds like a dick and we live far enough away for him not to find out then I have no moral issues personally.
He's currently curled up beside the fire.
Thanks for all the responses :)

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/01/2015 14:07

I'd probably do what a Pp suggested and take him. To a vet miles away and pray he's not chipped.

If he spends so much time at yours what are you going to do about the fleas as he must be riddled poor thing.

With any luck owner won't notice. I'd get an FIV test too

Thudercatsrule · 19/01/2015 15:04

Yes, do it! If only there were more people like you there wdnt be so many unwanted kittens.

thecatneuterer · 19/01/2015 15:25

There is no way on earth he will be chipped. Chipping is normally done at the same time as neutering and the sort of people who don't bother with neutering certainly don't bother with chipping.

And I wouldn't bother with an FIV test as Giles suggested. There is really only any point in that if it's as a diagnostic test for some symptoms being displayed. Most cats live perfectly normal lives even if they do have it. And if they're neutered they are unlikely to pass it on, so a test really isn't necessary, as knowing the result won't make any difference to anything.

babybat · 19/01/2015 15:44

I'd do it. I doubt the owner would even notice, and you're reducing the number of unwanted kittens that would be born without any guarantee that they'd receive the care they need. The cat won't care. It's not like you're stealing a prize winning stud cat, is it?

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/01/2015 17:15

Isn't FIV able to be transmitted through bites and scratches not just through mating?

prepared to be corrected though. Just assumed if he gets into fights he's best kept in if positive

thecatneuterer · 19/01/2015 17:32

Giles yes, saliva into blood is the transmission route. So effectively bites (and sex as the males bite the females neck when mating). But neutered males really rarely get into such serious fights. And if they do it's almost certainly going to be with unneutered males which have a high chance of already being FIV positive anyway. So no, knowing a cat has FIV shouldn't really make any difference to whether or not they have outdoor access.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/01/2015 17:35

Ok thanks

SuburbanRhonda · 19/01/2015 17:36

I did this many years ago.

A cat adopted me - beautiful fluffy black male, covered in abcesses from fights with other cats. So I took him to the vet and got him neutered. The owners were neighbours and they neither noticed nor cared.

He recovered from his injuries, became much more chilled and moved in. Then I passed him onto the people who bought my house and he had a lovely life

Hatespiders · 19/01/2015 17:44

We don't have an electronic cat flap, and our neighbours have 4 cats (we have 3) They visit at all hours during the day, especially 'Alfie' (a ginger giant) and Squibble (tabby & white) It's all very matey, they all seem to know each other. The only problem is our cats are a bit spoiled and get chicken, tuna and ham for treats. Alfie hoovers up anything we put on the floor and ours just look a bit miffed. We shut our cat flap at night. I'm glad there's no racism between the Siamese and the Brits.

A poor stray with a strange, deformed head used to creep in sometimes. I tried to coax him/her but after a few weeks it disappeared. I reckon it died as it was in a bad way.
Why don't people look after their animals properly or not have them at all?
I get so upset, especially in this bitter weather, seeing an obviously suffering cat with no warmth or food.

Shockers · 19/01/2015 18:04

Put up a notice for 5 minutes and if nobody responds, take him to the vet as a stray that you've been looking after for the last 6 months.

I don't believe that people have the right to keep animals if they aren't prepared to look after them properly.

Have you de-flea'd him already?

PhaedraIsMyName · 19/01/2015 18:14

My son acquired a very young female cat in circumstances where it seemed she had either been abandoned or if she wasn't she was awfully young to be out so much, so late and so often.

He did put up notices in the area asking if any one was missing her. No response. She wasn't chipped and I have her now.

oldgrandmama · 19/01/2015 18:21

Well, you GENUINELY thought he was a stray, didn't you? And he sort of 'adopted' you as his slave owner? So you do the right thing, for him, you, and for stopping him fathering poor kittens that'll end up unwanted? Win-win. You are a nice person to pay out for this, too. I must tell you, my local vet neutered a tom, a lovely boy but a real 'ladies man', who came into everyone's houses, spraying his stinky spray everywhere. Vet 'assumed' he was a stray and gave him the chop! His owner (with whom I'd spoken) had previously come out with the lame 'oh, it's unnatural, would spoil poor Tiddles's fun ...' rubbish. Tiddles (not his real name) is now a settled down, lovely cuddly home-body, not ranging all over the neighbourhood stinking up houses and knocking up lady cats!

Hatespiders · 19/01/2015 18:32

When we took Minty (a tiny little blue-point Siamese) as a kitten to be neutered, the vet looked at his crown jewels and said he'd never, ever seen such big balls on such a small cat. I foolishly replied that it would be nice if my dh had ones that size. He couldn't do anything for laughing and said he'd be telling all the staff during their tea break. My poor dh glared a bit.

Tynsel · 19/01/2015 18:41

I've had a cat 'stolen' previously - where someone locked the cat in her house! However cats choose where they want to go - and it sounds like this cat has chosen you.

The owner sounds like a idiot, all you need to do is ask yourself 'if the cat was to contract FIV would the owner be happy to pay the vets bills? Or to keep his as a house cat?' If the answer is no, then I would get the cat neutered.

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