DS having baby teeth removed

[MiddleAgedandConfused]

DS 13 needs 3 baby teeth taken out. He is really, really worried about it. I was thinking about making an appointment but not telling him until the day itself so he doesn't have time to get wound up or have sleepless nights.

Aibu to do this? Or should he know in advance?

I think telling him on the day may be a bit unfair but I do understand why you may not want him worrying too much - how about a day or 2 before? I had 4 baby teeth removed at a similar age due to crowding. My dentist didn't give me any injection and they really did just pop out. It isn't pleasant but he will be fine.

He is being a bit irrational so just trying to find the best route for him. Wondering what the down sides might be of surprising him rather than letting him stress for days.

Is he going to be knocked out or a local? If knocked out I could tell him about it to make him feel better as my son went through it last year...

Could you give him the choice of knowing the day before or being told earlier?

He's 13! Of course he should know, and he should know exactly what the procedure entails.

imo you have to tell him, don't arrange it w/o telling him or he will think he cant' trust you, it's not nice to having things like this sprung on you

A friend's son needed some baby teeth out before braces were fitted. He was about the same age.His mum decided not to tell him, he thought he was going for a normal check up.

When he found out he was having teeth out he got so upset that the dentist would not proceed. They had to get referred to have them done under gas.

My dd had 4 upper jaw baby teeth removed on one day when she was 14 as the adult teeth were not pointing down so they weren't pushing them out. It took about 20 minutes, I don't remember what sort of anaesthetic she had. The other 2 baby teeth in that jaw fell out that same day. It didn't hurt at all. Don't you need to ask him when to book the appointment to make sure he doesn't have an after school club or some other plans when the appointment is? Maybe if you let him choose the day he will feel more in control and less worried?

I think blind siding him could be a big mistake.
I think if he has anxiety about an event then suddenly springing it on him might make the day go more smoothly, but you may pay in the future. If I though that difficult situations were just going to be sprung upon me I would have more anxiety all the time.

13 is quite old to be so stressed about this. Is he just anxious about the dentist or is it an on going problem?

Does he actually know what is going to happen? My son has very high levels of anxiety ( and asd) and we have found an extra visit to the dentist where he is talked through what will happen,helps enormously.
Fear/ anxiety is about the unknown and situations being out of control. Surprises are likely to make that worse I'm afraid.

Thanks for your replies.
He does know it is going to happen and we have talked through the process so he is aware that the appointment will be made and what is going on. I just thought it might be kinder to not make him worry about it for days in advance.
But sounds like it's not a good idea.

I hope it goes well. It really won't be awful at all. My son had no problems.

You should tell him. As a child I was also very anxious about dental treatment and had my baby teeth removed under sedation, could that be a possibility?

You could ask him at 13 whether he would like to find out on the day, and explain he might sleep better if its a surprise.