Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

Original poster

Is the whole world of middle aged people just really vacuous now?

239 replies

Sunbury1986 · 18/01/2015 18:02

Hi all, I'm no academic so I'm not talking about education in the formal sense. I just feel that everyone I meet and talk to, many are educated and hold positions of title and status, are really dull to talk to. the main conversations seem to be about property prices, their "job title", which is hardly the brightest way to introduce yourself unless you are really status anxious, or which bloody Russell Group uni their child is applying to, and obviously if their/your child doesn't make a Russell Group they are going to be lucky to get a job in a Pound Shop. AIBU? Or do I need to (re) step away from people I know? I believe many succeed with out a RG uni education.

OP posts:

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 18/01/2015 20:12

UnhingeDeranged - sorry, but the clue was in the title: Is the whole world of middle aged people just really vacuous now?

Speaking for myself, I took this to mean that the OP thought the whole of the Middle Aged population are vacuous. What else could it have meant?

Laska42 · 18/01/2015 20:18

Sigh...ageism
. I'm with BIWI here , (oh and Im a MIL also! so of course I lionise my DS and DGS whilst obs utterley hating my DDIL and trying my best to make her life a misery ... )

Oh and Im a hideous old hag also ..

Hakluyt · 18/01/2015 20:18

I'm not trying to take offence-it was forced on me!

ouryve · 18/01/2015 20:22

They must be trying to tell you something, OP.

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 18/01/2015 20:23

Its ageist
and really inaccurate.

I don't know a single middle aged ( 45-50 year old ) who talks about house prices - not their concern .
30-40 yr olds -Yep bang on the money!
Vacuous- showing lack of thought or intelligence , really a whole generation is being written off in this way.
Boring (depending on your interests maybe) but vacuous ???

HaroldLloyd · 18/01/2015 20:25

Maybe some of you people are actually a bit boring, and these poor middle aged folk are struggling for things to say.

unhingederanged · 18/01/2015 20:26

I am middle aged and I don't get all offended when someone mentions the m word. It's pretty clear that the OP was exaggerating to make a point and her responses indicate she was talking about a certain group of people.

Randomly deciding to extrapolate the title to mean everyone is ludicrous.

BIWI · 18/01/2015 20:35

But the title didn't say 'Is the whole world of middle aged people (except BIWI) just really vacuous now?

It was about 'the whole world of middle aged people', which sort of really does mean all middle aged people

Not quite sure why you would think it doesn't?

Or, more worryingly, why you think ageist posts like this are a) not ageist and b) acceptable?

ouryve · 18/01/2015 20:38

And it is a stage rather than an age thing. I'm 45 and our kids aren't out of primary school yet. We're still too busy with their compulsory education, ie how to help them survive it and come out of the other end, even think about higher education (which will only apply to one of them, unless DS2 completely surprises us).

And DH and I have talked about bog all, today, because one of the kids was up all night, poorly, and we're both too shattered to string a sentence together. I have promised not to take a photo of him with tissues up his nose and share it on social media :o

alpacasosoftsnowgentlyfalling · 18/01/2015 20:38

Oh its a load of made up shite ! Honestly the house price angst gave it away !

unhingederanged · 18/01/2015 20:51

Sigh. I don't think purposefully ageist posts are acceptable.

What I do think is that some MNers perceive that ageism has become a problem so are hyper alert to any post which they think might be ageist and are determined to cut it off quickly.

The other day, Hakluyt queried a post where someone said that a woman aged around 50 had pulled her skirt down, saying 'why did you say she was about 50, what relevance does that have?' The OP in that case was clearly not being ageist, but mentioned in passing that it wasn't a teenager or a man but a woman in her 50s who pulled her skirt down to demonstrate that it didn't appear to be a simple prank.

If you want to be really picky about the title of this OP's post, you could indeed construe it as ageist, but IMO, choosing to ignore the spirit of the post in favour of scoring points for your personal hobby horse rather sucks and isn't really in the MN spirit.

Tutt · 18/01/2015 20:57

Oh just looked up RG uni's I went to one!!

I do think I maybe quite vacuous as I talk shite most of the time ...

BIWI · 18/01/2015 20:59

Would you think that campaigning against sexism, or racism is a 'personal hobby horse' unhinged?

Discopanda · 18/01/2015 21:03

OP, if your username is because you live in Sunbury, it's not just you, it's the blimming area, Shepperton is much worse!

unhingederanged · 18/01/2015 21:06

Is this where you try and trap me into contradicting myself? Sexism and racism are irrelevant to this. I dislike ageism, but equally, I dislike people using a an ism of whatever stripe to snark at others.

It's clear that the OP didn't intend any offence but some posters have chosen to extrapolate her posts to be ageist.

MoreBeta · 18/01/2015 21:06

I tend to keep my degrees and university background a secret. It really really isn't important except to my employer.

ilovesooty · 18/01/2015 21:06

Would you think that campaigning against sexism, or racism is a 'personal hobby horse' unhinged?

Exactly.

However as I've discovered today, point out ageism and some posters come down on you like a tonne of bricks.

BIWI · 18/01/2015 21:10

No. There is no extrapolation. I find it quite bizarre that you would think it is. The title of this thread is clearly quite ageist.

I'm not 'snarking' - whatever that is - I'm pointing out that this thread is ageist. What is wrong with that? What is your problem with that? Are you happy with ageism?

Presumably you're not middle aged. So it doesn't matter to you.

And how do you know that the OP didn't intend to offend anyone?

But here's the thing. Even if the OP didn't intend to offend anyone, he/she has offended people. Because of his/her ageist post.

UsedtobeFeckless · 18/01/2015 21:19

You need new friends OP

I'm definitely middle-aged and thoroughly, unashamedly vacuous and I've never had a chat about RG unis or house prices ...

A sample from today runs - snow, foxes, state of the runway, dogs, holidays, range of filthy things we'd like to do to Rollo of Vikings, dumplings, spots, books, daffodils, kids, partners, Mars lander, Celebrity Big Brother, work gossip and fossils.

If you're bored change the subject!

unhingederanged · 18/01/2015 21:21

I am middle aged, as I said before.

Clearly, you and some others are determined to find the OP's post ageist and therefore offensive. I've already said I'm not happy with ageism, I just happen to believe that there are far worse examples of it.

Pouncing on something you think may be slightly ageist and bullying the OP off Mumsnet is actually quite shit. I thought the whole ethos of MN was to support women regardless of their status or ability to post a perfect thread title.

Original poster

Sunbury1986 · 18/01/2015 21:25

Tentatively dipping my toe back in after a lovely swim where I pondered the furore around my OP. I assume posters are allowed to use this site to let off steam in a safe place? I was perhaps careless with my title. It was not meant to be and " ism" of any kind . I think I have learnt age is an issue now so will be more careful. That said I hold firm on my original issue. I am fine with the people suggesting I need new friends. I have good friends. This isn't about friends it is about social situations I find parents I meet being very prescriptive and somewhat dictatorial about how they feel they see a successful young person. And, more to the point the anxiety about not being part of the successful group, eg , multi extra curricular, duke of ed, a disaster if you don't get it, drama exams, music, etc etc then Unis that apparently matter. Surely we need to equip our kids to follow courses they want to do in a place they are comfortable and thriving? Won't that make them more employable? I do think some of the reponders this evening are perhaps missing the fact that in some areas and at certain times of life , you do come across this type of hysteria. I'm off again, I did not mean to offend any one and also do campaign for freedom of speech....for all.

OP posts:

Bowlersarm · 18/01/2015 21:25

Why would you want to support an op when you don't agree with what she's said, and is having a pop at your age group?

BIWI · 18/01/2015 21:28

Well, well, well. The old accusation of bullying, just because someone disagrees with you

And the OP has come back, so clearly she hasn't been bullied off MN

Sunbury obviously you're allowed to use MN for letting off steam but, yes, you were careless with your thread title.

But that's exactly why MN is starting the Everyday Ageism campaign. To point out when ageism is occurring.