to wonder why no one will sit next to me?

[newrecruit]

I attend a lot of networky lunches.

The last couple of times I have always had a spare seat on one side of me.

I'm beginning to take it personally. I'm smiley I think, maybe I look to needy

Maybe I'm sitting in the wrong place.

I'm sure I don't smell.

What am I doing wrong.

Do some of the others know each other already?

Do you have resting bitchy face?

Do you sit near the end, so there is only one seat available on that side of you (people are often reluctant to take the 1 spare seat).

Maybe you have a reputation, or are dull...

Probably just coincidence. Maybe.

Oh no! Now I'm more paranoid than k was before

checks resting bitchy face

Why don't you sit in a seat next to someone else on both sides? Then they'd have to actively stand up and move away from you, most people aren't that rude.

Are you female?
If so, take a seat with your back to the windows/main lights. Many older women I know make a point of this as the light is more flattering on the face.
Thus you will be in the popular seats!
Also, I always try to avoid anyone wearing a lot of perfume, it's horrible when you're eating.

Is it the same crowd you're meeting time and again, or different groups of people?

A similar group. It's big though. I think maybe I need to sit nearer the middle.

You are probably over thinking it, do you approach others at the networking, next time at one try approaching someone. Totally unprofessional but I usually start by saying wow love your shoes/bag/outfit. Then they feel flattered and chat back. Good luck

Do you turn your body to chat to the one occupied seat, I use to have to network and would not sit next to someone with their back being to my face in case they did not turn to include me in conversation.

Any of the above possibilities could be the root of the problem - if indeed there is a problem- or none at all.

Its usual to start talking to people while they are standing around waiting,get deeper into conversation and then just drift into the dining room along with them. Presumably this isnt happening at the lunches?

Do the others seem to pair up before going into lunch? Do you perhaps get there later than the rest and are left out? Do people not engage with you at all? Do they avoid you or politely keep their distance?

Take a step back in the next lunch and see how it pans out.Maybe it has been one of those coincidences that will not happen again but if you are once again on your own see how it has happened. If you were happily engaged in conversation but left alone at the table try to see how that occurred.

Hopefully you will get to the bottom of it without trying too hard.

I have a resting bitchy face

I can't help it.

Resting bitch face can be good. I've deliberately cultivated one so I can go shopping without being stopped by two energy supplier salespeople, a bloke asking me how much I pay for my broadband, one young enthusiastic charity fundraiser, one avuncular charity fundraiser, and a family (inc children) of street evangelists.

OP, does any of the above sound familiar? If it does, you don't have resting bitch face.

You say that you attend a lot of these lunches, but that it's only the last couple of times that you found an empty seat next to you. So I'm thinking it could just be a coincidence. Maybe there were others with an empty seat beside them but you didn't actually notice.
I go to church regularly, and once or twice I'm alone in my pew. I used to wonder why, (Nellie-No-Mates?) but figured out that I usually sit right under the pathetic little electric wall heater (I hate the cold) but other worshippers find that pew far too hot!
It's highly unlikely to be bitchy-resting-face (like the Queen!) or that you smell (!) Next time plonk yourself next to a friendly-looking person and greet them warmly. They too might be feeling a bit isolated.

Thank you everyone.

It was fine. I actually made sure that I was sitting in the middle of the room. I held back a bit and then went to an already full table with only one space left!

This is clearly how everyone else does it

Nobody got up and moved!

In my case, I had to give up Garlic, cabbage and beans and chili............

and start taking charcoal tabs

lets on Ripppp ahhhh