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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to tell him those trousers look good on him?

14 replies

depecheNO · 15/01/2015 20:22

I'm really unsure about this one. He's an introverted feminist; we're not dealing with someone who would actually find it funny to be complimented non-jokingly in a lewd way. I know that "You look beautiful tonight" is considered an appropriate compliment, and "10/10 buns, whit-whoo!" is not, but this is somewhere in between. I do genuinely like the trousers (an unusual variation of a specific work style), and they suit him. Would I be better off telling him that they "suit" him, rather than "look good on" him? I'd like him to know that I'm interested, but I don't want him to think he should put his bum away because I'm staring. (I absolutely was not, although in the situation where I noticed, I could've easily got away with it.)

We are friends, by the way. And yes, I know IABU to give it so much thought.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 15/01/2015 20:27

Eh?!

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 15/01/2015 20:30

If you really must say something, say the trousers are nice. Leave his physique out of it. Safest option.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 15/01/2015 20:35

Yes. Tell him.

...to tell him those trousers look good on him?
MrsTerryPratchett · 15/01/2015 20:36

'cool keks'?

CrystalHaze · 15/01/2015 20:41

As long as you don't follow it up with 'but they'd look better on my bedroom floor' I reckon it's fine ;)

woowoo22 · 15/01/2015 20:43

What is an introverted feminist?

Confused by this. Is he just introverted... and identifies as a feminist?

depecheNO · 15/01/2015 20:44

woowoo22 Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Sorry.

OP posts:
squoosh · 15/01/2015 20:51

Say 'you look nice today' to the introverted feminist. Complimenting the trousers is less important than letting him know in a non alarming manner that you fancy him.

depecheNO · 15/01/2015 21:03

squoosh I've always felt that "You look nice today" carries the weight of "The rest of the time you look like shit", but that's probably just my low self-esteem. (I do agree that the trousers are less important though.)

Thanks for your replies, everybody. I really appreciate it.

OP posts:
SorchaN · 15/01/2015 21:54

How about "I like those trousers!" Avoids commenting on his physique and makes it something about you rather than him, if you see what I mean.

CallMeExhausted · 15/01/2015 22:05

I guess - "nice ass" is out of the question?

squoosh · 15/01/2015 22:07

'You look nice today' means 'you look extra nice today' rather than 'you usually look shit'!

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 15/01/2015 22:08

You could run your hand up his leg and say,

"Ooo, I do like your trousers..."

fluffling · 15/01/2015 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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