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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to feel a bit neglected?

16 replies

catlovingdoctor · 14/01/2015 19:26

Basically my friend messaged me early on NYE to ask if I wanted to go out with her and our other friends; I'm closest to her really and it's a big group so didn't even know who else was going. So I was only speaking to her about it.

Anyway I replied saying count me in...no reply...until literally an hour ago. 14 days later..! She casually says oh sorry I forgot to check my messages (we use facebook messages not texts) and that she went out with them all. Meanwhile I was at home all NYE thinking she was ignoring me. AIBU to feel bit neglected/ put out? She's fairly flaky when it comes to checking messages etc but normally very nice and we have a good friendship. Suggestions? TIA.

OP posts:

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 14/01/2015 19:29

14 days?

She's a douche. Cut her loose.

Discopanda · 14/01/2015 19:33

That's just rude and mean, she is not a proper friend, get rid.

LadyLuck10 · 14/01/2015 20:00

Well if you picked up the phone when you didn't get a reply about the night out you would have gone out with your friends! Why did you just sit there assuming she's ignoring you

GokTwo · 14/01/2015 20:03

It's a bit gutting I agree but do you actually think she did it on purpose? I have a friend who is very flaky like that.

pilates · 14/01/2015 20:19

Sorry sounds like she didn't want you to join them otherwise she would have phoned you. Not a reliable friend IMO.

scottgirl · 14/01/2015 20:24

Facebook messages will tell you at the bottom of your message when it was read.

Leeds2 · 14/01/2015 20:31

I rarely look at phone texts, so very possibly wouldn't have picked up your reply, but if I had sent the invite out by text, I would've checked.

scottgirl · 14/01/2015 20:36

The OP uses Facebook messages not texts. An unread message is visibly flagged up whenever the friend logged on to Facebook.

SwingingBalls · 14/01/2015 20:39

Why didn't you chase her up when you didn't get a reply from her?

Aeroflotgirl · 14/01/2015 20:40

Yabu you said she was flaky at checking messages, and what did you do, you sent her a message, and dident follow it up with a call or another text.

Mummy1106 · 14/01/2015 20:43

She is definitely out of order and too flaky to care. I would feel heartbroken. These days people are glued to their phones not iPads or laptops. I don't buy her excuse.

Quitelikely · 14/01/2015 20:55

Well why didn't you ask about meeting arrangements? She invited you out, then you say yes what time and place. No?

kittensinmydinner · 15/01/2015 18:08

I may be really old-fashioned but if she's a good friend perhaps you could have called her on that communicating device know as a phone....

googoodolly · 15/01/2015 18:11

I'd have rung if it was that important for me to go out. I don't think you can rely on Facebook to be reliable with this kind of thing.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/01/2015 18:32

Exactly, op knew she was flaky with messages, some just ignore their Facebook messages, I don't, but some do. If I wanted to go out, and I haven't heard from her, I would have called her a day before to finalise arrangements.

Summerisle1 · 15/01/2015 18:41

I'd have followed up the message with a text or a phone call.

Only quite a lot of my friends disabled the Facebook messenger service when it wanted to install itself as a separate app on mobile devices. As a result, we only get Facebook messages when actually on laptops or computers.

I realise this is no excuse for waiting 14 days but actually Facebook is an increasingly crap way to message someone.

Flip