Ive posted about this first bit in Chat so sorry if Im repeating myself a little bit. My best, closest and oldest friend of 30 years was diagnosed with breast cancer, despite it being aggressive, after chemotherapy last year they appeared to have got all the cancer.
But a lump is back, and recently we found out its spread and its terminal this time.
I was in total denial Monday and Tuesday, completely numb. I welcomed it, hoped it would last. I can deal with 'numb'.
Today however, out of the blue it hit me like a ton of bricks. The pain was horrendous, my best friend, my girl friend, my rock may only live for 6 more months. I could barely breath, I couldn't stop crying, I felt like I wasnt coping.
A very good mutual friend of mine and my friend is a therapist, he said call any time so I text my ex and asked if, when he comes over later I can "go and see my therapist friend, because this has hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel horrendous."
(I need to point out here that be has 'no fixed abode' and hasn't for years so he has been seeing the kids at my home. After years if begging he has a place to live and hes trying to make it liveable. He sees the kids for 2 hours once or twice a week, and on a Saturday, so I get fuck all break. He also works away for weeks and weeks on end)
He said he couldn't because he has to do tonight, what he was supposed to on Monday (when he saw to the kids while I rushed out to my friend to comfort her following the diagnoses).
I asked what it was and he said 'collecting a chest of drawers'. I, passive aggressively, replied 'dire'.
Anyway to cut to the chase, he then tells me I can go out, but I can't be long because he needs to fix his new place up.
He then tells me how pissed off he is about it all, that he missed the chest of drawers because of me.
I tell him I feel nothing for his chest of drawers. My best friend is dying.
He carries in being a heartless nasty prick until I tell him not to come over. Not tonight, not this weekend, not next week or next weekend.
I was finding him very, very difficult to handle anyway for various reason which I will go into of people feel I need to.
But I just can't handle processing all this information as well as dealing with a complete arse hole.
As for when his flat will be ready, Ive absolutely no idea. I could be weeks or months.
I feel like he is a prick who I never want to see again.
He said the kids will suffer for not seeing him.
I said it makes absolutely no difference to him working away for weeks on end.
Its all a bit he-said she-said bullshit.
Why can't he just be a bit kinder? I can't handle this right now.