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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go to the theatre/cinema on my own?

69 replies

Cooki3Monst3r · 14/01/2015 10:26

I actually think I'm not in anyway BU but I my best friends thinks it's really odd! I suspect she feels sorry for me that I have to go on my own (I don't have to, I just do).

I'd love to get the general consensus on this.

OP posts:

LilMissSunshine9 · 14/01/2015 16:35

When I have to go to restaurants/ fast food type of places on my own mostly due to work I get a seat near a window and people watch whilst eating. That really helps. Some people I see have a news paper or kindle to read.

PeachandBlack · 14/01/2015 16:39

Cooki3 Oh god yes, the endless negotiations!

I will often take a chance on something new, or something my friends haven't head of. I could probably get a bunch of people together after about a week and a flurry of texts to see Miss Saigon or Mamma Mia but would get this look if I suggested The Scottsboro Boys.

I also eat out alone, if I've got a book or a phone as a distraction I'm quite happy.

Original poster

Cooki3Monst3r · 14/01/2015 16:40

Yes, windows, good. I'm being a complete numpty. For some reason when I think about eating out in my head in a vision of me sitting at a clothed table, in the middle of a packed restaurant for all to see. I think that might have been an episode of Miranda.

OP posts:

shadowfax07 · 14/01/2015 16:44

I tend to take a book with me and order a glass of wine to fill the time waiting for food, then eating it is the easy bit. There's only so many times I can face yet another cold pizza from room service, at least you can interact with whoever's serving you.

PeachandBlack · 14/01/2015 16:44

Do you think people will think you've been stood up if you're in a nice restaurant on your own?

I will ask for a table for 1 without compunction and if any waiter makes a reference to it then that's their tip gone!

PeachandBlack · 14/01/2015 16:46

makes reference in a derogatory way that is, which none of them do because they don't give a monkeys what your situation is.

Fabulassie · 14/01/2015 16:46

I go to movies by myself, but I never see other lone women. I'm in a restaurant by myself now and I'm the only lone woman.

Women usually don't go places by themselves. It's considered odd. Even walking down the street in the city centre, or walking through the Arndale centre... Women are more likely to be in pairs or groups. More so than men, for sure.

And I can't remember ever seeing another lone woman walk into a pub and have a drink. (And even women in groups never stand at the bar.)

Women are encouraged from an early age to buddy up or rely on a male chaperone.

Women who do things on their own are odd, and even if people don't consciously recognise it, it's seen as aberrant behaviour. And I know it sounds hyperbolic, but it isn't a far stretch from that to the idea of a lone woman being sexually rapacious and "asking for it."

Most women have learned to behave and be "good." That's why going solo seems weird to them.

NannyPlumIsMyIdol · 14/01/2015 16:47

Nothing wrong with it, i love going to the theatre/cinema both alone and with others, depends when/what I'm watching.

I usually go with DD1 as that's our 'thing', we go 2-3 times a year, we're going to watch Blood Brothers in March for my birthday but I'm going on my own to see Tuppence to Cross the Mersey the week after, I'm going to eat out, see the show and stay overnight in a hotel ALL ON MY OWN! DH is horrified by this and can't comprehend how i can enjoy myself without a companion

Go and enjoy!

BiddyPop · 14/01/2015 16:51

Book and a glass of wine or G&T in peace, when eating alone. I've even been known to go out for dinner alone here, when I've had a babysitter and DH is away (so not just when I am away alone for business). Tis great - hot food of my choice and eaten hot, peace for reading my book, refills if needed are easy to order.....

Anytime I've gone alone, waiter immediately clears the other cutlery, not questions asked.

BiddyPop · 14/01/2015 16:56

(in Autumn 2013 - admittedly very stressed at work at the time - I took 2 days off work midweek and booked myself into a spa hotel for an overnight. Drove down having a nice coffee and cake stop en route, wandered around a garden centre, had a nice walk - all before arriving. Had a treatment booked both days. Brought lovely fresh fruit and berries to eat, and a nice bun (for with a cup of tea). And my book. Relaxed on arrival, had my massage and a swim. Hot relaxed shower, before reading my book with a G&T in lounge, gorgeous dinner (got the autumn tasting menu with the glass recommended to go with relevant courses - I think it was 4 glasses of different wines across the night, some were small and dinner was long). Lovely sleep with no one kicking me. Nice brekkie, read the paper in peace. Facial and another swim. Before packing up and driving home in time for evening dinner).

I am debating doing that again sometime. It was W O N D E R F U L!!!!!

TimeWarp · 14/01/2015 17:00

This thread made me look up my local cinema as I haven't been for ages, one of the upcoming showings is the opera 'The rise and fall of the city of Mahagonny'. It made me laugh because it's spelled correctly in the listing, but there is side-bar of mini-posters and there is has been auto-corrected to the city of 'Mahogany'.

I remember now why I haven't been to the cinema for ages. I mentioned to my Mum that I had been to see something and she said that I should tell her the next time that I go as she would like to go to the cinema too. Which just stopped me dead, because I just want to look up the schedule an hour beforehand, book it and go, but Mum is a bit of a faffer so wouldn't be able to do that. Anyway we really don't like the same sort of stuff, and if I arrange something and she doesn't like it, she mentions it a lot in a vaguely accusing way. So that meant I couldn't go at all because I don't particularly want to go with her (although I would go along if she wanted to see something and wanted company, but she doesn't want that) and if I go without her she will be offended.

I should go in the next couple of weeks as she is away on holiday.

Original poster

Cooki3Monst3r · 14/01/2015 17:10

Fabulassie you sound like you're living in a somewhat different decade to the rest of us. I always see 'lone' women out and about. Perhaps not in the Arndale. I walked around the Arndale once then made the mistake of visiting the loos only to find a lone woman shooting up. Wild horses couldn't get me walking round there again - alone or otherwise!

BiddyPop That sounds so truly awesome - I'm falling asleep just reading your post!!

tbh I've never had the course to have to eat on my own, and certainly not the time to try it just for fun. I'm sure if push came to shove I'd be fine. The peace and quiet very tempting!

OP posts:

LilMissSunshine9 · 14/01/2015 17:23

If I had to wait until my friends and I could do stuff togethe rso I would not look like a 'lone woman' I would never do anything. Seriously maybe in cities outside of London it may seem more odd than in London because I have found that you do get more people staring whereas in London noone really cares, stares or comments about it.

Plenty of 'lone women' shop along Oxford street by themselves. Why do you have to have someone with you? Its the same about going to the toilet where my friends always need someone to go with them. Seriously?

Outdated attitudes that relly don't have a place in today's society.

squoosh · 14/01/2015 17:33

To be honest the only time I'd go for a drink by myself is in a hotel or airport bar. It just wouldn't occur to me to pop into a pub as I was passing.

teddybears · 14/01/2015 18:28

I have been to the cinema hundreds of times on my own, I've eaten out hundreds of times on my own (in fact, I often plan a little day out for myself, cinema, dinner, shopping etc). This time last year I went away on holiday on my own, admittedly I was terrified getting on the plane but once I landed and got settled I had the best 4 days of my life! I went away in September on my own again (for a week) and I'm going away on my third solo trip now in March.

Maybe I am odd, I do have friends and it's nice to go out with them sometimes but I honestly prefer my own company. I'm not telling anyone I'm planning a holiday in March until the last minute because I'm worried someone will want to come with me!

tiggydiggydee · 14/01/2015 18:58

I'm building up the courage to go to the cinema on my own and after reading another thread on here not long ago...coffee shop on my own too!
After reading peoples posts it sounded bliss!
Go to the cinema and have a lovely time op.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 14/01/2015 19:04

Do it do it do it . I'm so jealous RiverTam !

Fabulassie · 14/01/2015 19:18

Nobody really notices lone women walking around the Arndale, either. It's not so strange as to be noticeable. But this evening I was looking for a particular restaurant and asking people as I was wandering around. I passed several men walking alone (from whom I asked directions) but I don't remember more than one lone woman walking down the street.

I'm going to start paying attention, now - counting when I pass solitary people and comparing men to women. I think the sort of place and time of day will make a difference.

I go into pubs by myself all the time. I can't remember ever seeing another woman do that (on her own.)

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 14/01/2015 20:11

I've been to the cinema by myself once and it was great. I would do it again if I had the time.

Love going swimming by myself too and hate it when someone wants to come with me.

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