We were considering going to visit DM and DSF in their home abroad in the summer. DM had offered to pay for flights and we do spending money, food etc. All very generous of them. DsB (DF side) has now announced his wedding very close to the same dates.
The problem is the wedding will be abroad and will cost us any spare money we have for the summer for DH and I to go. We are very happy for him and excited to share their day. So have chosen the wedding over DM visit. DC will stay home for the two days with GP that they see every week.
DM suggested in the summer she collects DC's and takes them to her house. This involves a long drive and then 5 hour flight. After a long discussion DH and feel that at 2 & 4 this would be too much for the DC to cope with. DC1 is very emotional and unsettled easily. When they are a bit older it will a wonderful trip.
As a comprise we suggested a holiday at our house and day trips out or a small holiday in the uk somewhere. DH and I would stay somewhere else so as not to interfere with their quality time. Dsf sees them once a year due to work and DM a few times. For that reason we want them to have this time together but where DC will feel comfortable. DM has health issues which mean she may take ill while travelling with them, which is worrying in itself. Sadly the dates are not negotiable as DSF has to take alloted dates.
Saying no has not been received well. We have been told it is unfair and they are not getting the same access to DC as other GPs. As in holidays they spend a week with GP a 4 hour drive away. They are convinced it will be ok as they fly fine with us so why wouldn't they with GP? They are ofended and angry saying we dont trust them. Which isn't true.
So MN AIBU not letting DC go?