Employer mix up

[Thoughtfulduck]

Long time lurker, first time poster but I just need to vent my frustration.

I'm a nanny and I work with two families, one of which go on regular holidays and I look after the children at home. Usually I ask for a months notice for this so I can inform my other family that I won't be available on said date, never had a problem before as both families are fairly flexible and are understanding of each other.

Anyway, so the first family told me they would be going on holiday 19th-23rd of this month, then text to ask would i mind if they went on the 26th-30th instead, not a problem to me. I thought everything was sorted.

I have learnt today that they are actually going on holiday next week! They apparently forgot to tell me that they decided against going the week after and "were only thinking about it"... one of my talents is mind reading

Second family have asked me tonight if I can do a full day 7.30-7.30 next Thursday as they have booked themselves on a training course. They obviously didn't think it would be a problem as they are expecting me to be available next week even though they aren't my usual hours! Neither family has backup childcare and it isn't physically possible for me to do both jobs.

Wwyd? I feel awful letting the second family down as they haven't had much notice of me not being there but on the other hand the other parents are actually leaving the country and need the childcare desperately!

AIBU to be annoyed at the short notice and them expecting me to live my life around them?!

Can family 2 bring their dc to you at family 1's house for the day? If you explain to both families your double booked?

I would honor the commitment to the second family and do their Thursday. Family one should have been more organized!

I was trying to think of ways round it hopful but I would then have 8 children with me and I can't fit them all in my car to do the school run, plus the schools are an hour apart.

I'd honour the commitment to the second family - it was the first family's screw up.

Explain to first family they need to organise other child care due to their mistake.

Be polite, be professional but it is their stuff up, but if you knowany other nannies who might be glad of the work suggest them.

Bottom line is family one is not your problem

Um! School run? If they where happy to miss school for a holiday then that is also a reason not to worry, about it family 2 are your priority here

What a dreadful situation for you to be put into by family 1.

Perhaps family 1 should pay for you to have an assistant for the day - do you know anyone or agency who could provide one? Also taxi fares for their DC to get to school that day. It could be doable, you would of course be paid by both families.

Family 2 should definitely get you this week. This is not their fault.

If you cancel family 2 next week at such short notice, just to please family 1, they'll probably find themselves another nanny and you'll be left with the shit parents!

"Usually I ask for a months notice for this so I can inform my other family that I won't be available on said date"

" Neither family has backup childcare and it isn't physically possible for me to do both jobs."

So what does second family do when you are not available due to first family being on holiday? (Actually the family is not on holiday, just the parents by my reading of OP).

TBH, I would also work for second family as they requested. The first family messed up. It's a holiday, one of many by the sound of it, maybe they could spend it with their children?

Thanks for all your replies, I really do feel very loyal to family 2. If their plans had been put in place last week then I wouldn't even question telling family 1 I can't do it, however family 2 have booked this course assuming I'm free when it's not actually my usual hours for them if that makes sense?

I'm trying not to drip feed, family twos mum is currently on maternity leave so I am not strictly needed however I do a few hours to help with housework, keep in touch with kids etc. although family 1 are in the wrong, I do think that family two should've asked me before booking because I wouldn't necessarily have been free anyway.

Another thing making it harder is the fact that family 1 (although at fault) will lose a lot of money for flights etc, it's not just a simple one day job. I can't afford to lose this family, as cross as I am. My dp physically cringed when I explained the situation to him!

Ps. Holiday is business related for parents of family 1, they aren't just enjoying time without kids. Not that it helps with this

Only one day doublebooked though - agency nanny for family 2, they are paying.

Do you know another CM who could step in and help on that day?
Awful situation to be in. Sorry you're stuck between a rock, and a hard place.

"Holiday is business related for parents of family 1"
If it's a business trip rather than a holiday, why do both of them need to go? Sorry but I'm confused here.

Sorry I've confused things by saying holiday to start with when what I meant was abroad. Without going into too much detail they run a business together and have some projects that need overseeing abroad, they both manage different aspects so both are needed but it helps make the process faster if they are both there communicating face to face with clients at the same time. Hence regular trips. I don't know whether that makes sense, sorry.

I think I need to speak to family 2 and explain what's happened, I can't think of anyone to cover me but maybe we can come up with someone between us

It's obvious family 1 needs you more. If the family 2 mum is on ML then she can see to her kids for that day. It's not right, but in this situation I would just go with family 1.