To not want to go on holiday as soon as DS starts school?

[567]

My DP are going to treat the family to a holiday (very lovely of them, no doubt about that) for two weeks abroad.

I said 'Oh how lovely! When do you plan on going?' And they told me that I will have to let DS (3) have the first two weeks off of the start of school after the summer as they want to go at the beginning of September.

I said that I cannot allow that because DS has Autism and they are going to be setting up the help he will need whilst he is at school and the school would not appreciate him having the very first 2 weeks off when he starts and it's important that I maintain a good relationship with the school for DS' sake.

They have gone mad, I mean really mad and are not talking to me now.

AIBU? I just don't think that it's possible or right to do this when DS is going to have extra support because of his Autism and to not even attend the first 2 weeks because I'm going on holiday would cause problems for me IMO and I'm not willing to start to year like that.

They sound like the last people on earth I would want to go on holiday with! YANBU

sherbet - the op did say she told them she was fine with them going without her. That's perfectly fine, particularly if it's a 'whole family' holiday so there's other siblings and their families/leave restrictions to fit round.

Sulking because someone else won't parent their DCs the way you want them to in order to suit you really should never be pandered to. OP - ignore, let them stop talking to you. If they do contact you again, refuse to discuss it, you "can't" take your DS away in the first few weeks of school. You might be able to do a term time holiday later on, but not at the first few weeks. Definately don't go running to them trying to make this all fine again or trying to get them to 'forgive' you (you've done nothing wrong). Let htem bluster until they realise you won't change your mind so they can work round it, either going without you or going during school holidays.

Another thought if it's the cost that's an issue, I would say missing the last 2 weeks of preschool would be better than the first 2 weeks of proper school, it doesn't have to be school holidays this year, you could do term time at the end of June/start of July when it's cheaper, just not the start of September.

Did you actually read the OP sherbet? She said, thanks but that's not going to be possible and her parents went mad at her.

YANBU OP for the reasons you outlined in your OP.

Your parents sound really pretty horrible and lacking in understanding

It doesn't really even matter what the back story is. Any adult who 'goes mad' and 'stops talking to you' should just be ignored till they grow up.

If he's not even started school why don't you go before he even starts. Take advantage of this last year of freedom unless you have older kids too.

While your parents are being totally unreasonable, I would check with the school exactly what the arrangements are.

When DS1 started the first week of term was taken up with home visits, then half the class started in week 2 and the other half started in week 3. DS didn't even go to school til the 3rd week in.

ABsolutely YANBU. How inconsiderate of them and how bloody rude to stop speaking to you because you are putting your sons needs first.

YANBU at all.
Nothing to do with if there will be a fine or not,but because the first few weeks of the year are SO important for all little ones (wll, all pupils, tbh) even before you factor the autism in.
Why don't they book something in May/June/July instead - still be off peak, but won't disrupt him starting school.

The OP may not be able to check with the school as places haven't been allocated yet and whilst her DSs SN may match criteria near the top, it's never a guaranteed entry.

YANBU