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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my parents no you can't have you stuff back this weekend that they almost forced me to take

18 replies

makemearrg · 12/01/2015 20:33

So a few weeks ago went to parents for lunch. They insisted on giving me some cake to go home with on a plate, I said oh no just in cling film is fine but DM kept saying no its fine take the plate. Then my df insisted on lending me his golf umbrella as it might rain later that day. I didn't want either but took both just to be polite. Then I get a call last weekend saying they will be passing my house and can they have their stuff back in 30 mins. It really wasn't convenient so I said so. Now they keep sending messages saying they want it back (after 2 weeks) and can I make a largish detour at the weekend to do it?

DM has 100s of plates so I know she doesn't need it at all. Aibu to say no to driving there16 miles to drop them off? They are both retired.

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 12/01/2015 20:36

YANBU but i am wondering why you didn't let them in when they were passing. Were you out?

lollilou · 12/01/2015 20:36

Maybe they just want to see you?

CaptainAnkles · 12/01/2015 20:37

Give it back ASAP and tell them that you didn't want them in the first place and will not be borrowing anything again as you've no idea why they were so desperate to get any of it back. Are they generally very possessive about their things? Do you see them often? Are they just lonely and wanted an excuse to see you?

Original poster

makemearrg · 12/01/2015 20:38

I was just on my way out when they were passing, as dd had ice skating lessons. I don't think they realise what its like having a schedule and not being able to just drop everything at anytime.

OP posts:

AnyoneforTurps · 12/01/2015 20:38

Blimey. My DM's pretty high maintenance but I'd still let her come to the door to collect a plate!

Next time, they'll just show up without warning, OP.

FightOrFlight · 12/01/2015 20:40

The plate seems a bit odd unless it's a family heirloom. The golf umbrella I can understand with all the shite weather we are having.

I assume you were out when they wanted to call round previously.

Tvseemstobemyhobby · 12/01/2015 20:40

It was inconvenient for your parents to visit even with 30 minutes notice? Wow. My Mum has a key to ours and only knocks if my husband's car/van is in the drive.

Is there more to this? Do you not get on with them?

Original poster

makemearrg · 12/01/2015 20:41

I don't think its an excuse to see me, will just drop them off in a huff because of how they have been about them. I think DM likes the plate as its part of a set (of 12). I'm annoyed with myself really, as this situation has happened several times. They go all out to be generous to give stuff then all of a sudden need stuff back they don't even use asap.

OP posts:

AnyoneforTurps · 12/01/2015 20:41

Give it back ASAP and tell them that you didn't want them in the first place and will not be borrowing anything again as you've no idea why they were so desperate to get any of it back.

Yeah, that sounds like the gracious and kind approach

One day, your DD will be an adult, OP. Treat your parents as you'd like her to treat you.

Tvseemstobemyhobby · 12/01/2015 20:42

Ah right you were going out. I didn't get that from the initial post.

Only1scoop · 12/01/2015 20:44

'Drop them off in a huff'
Why

Justtoobad · 12/01/2015 20:48

Yanbu, unless your dad was off to play golf and none of his golf friends had a spare umbrella (doubt that's true...umbrellas everywhere in this country), or your mum was having the queen round and needed plates for the corgis.
Put some tipex on plate so it looks like a chip and give it back.

CaptainAnkles · 12/01/2015 20:50

No need for the face really. The OP says she didn't want any of it, so why shouldn't she tell them that? It's odd to force people to take stuff home only to demand it back, especially when it's not even important stuff.

Only1scoop · 12/01/2015 20:52

But a bit daft to 'drop it off in a huff'

Just tell them you will take it next time you visit or if it's urgent they can fetch it.

missingmumxox · 12/01/2015 20:56

For future reference when they want to drop round to collect stuff but you can't be in put it on a bag and say

Sorry I am going to be out but it's behind the x

youareallbonkers · 12/01/2015 20:57

Why take the things then? You are an adult and capable of wrapping some cake. However you did take them so should have returned then sooner than a few weeks. Why couldn't you leave them on the doorstep to collect?

Nanny0gg · 12/01/2015 20:58

Couldn't you have left it on the doorstep/somewhere hidden for them to collect when you went out?

HopeClearwater · 12/01/2015 21:01

Some people get a bit obsessed about this kind of thing. The OP's parents are probably sitting at home chewing over it. It's probably an excuse for an outing too.
YANBU!

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