to wish that people would acknowledge people like me

[sweethoneytruffle]

I work full time, but a combination of rubbish working conditions and poor hourly pay means I take home approximately £270 a week. This varies a bit and it sounds okay until you factor other costs in.

Out of this I obviously have to pay living costs, including council tax. I also have to pay for car insurance and petrol (job is based in the car so I can't sell it) I work anti social hours, starting work at 6:30 and finishing at 11 but not being paid for that as it's split shifts.

I don't know if I am really bad at money management, but I always seem to be skint, even when I have just been paid, I'm broke!

But we are not mentioned much, it's always about benefit cuts and delays and sanctions. I seriously have £5 in my purse, one tin of soup and a packet of biscuits until Friday!

Haven't RTFT but you can do Functional SKills Maths now at college and a Level 2 is recognised as equivalent to GCSE grade C maths. Functional Skills is taught very much with people who failed at 'traditional' maths at shool in mind.
It is now recognised that people have all sorts of reasons for not getting a maths qualification and there is a big push now to address this.

I think it's interesting that self-improvement seems to have largely taken the place of group solidarity. If you can get on, why worry about those who can't?

Join a union, OP, and everyone else in your position. It's not just about individuals suffering (though I don't mean to be dismissive about that) - it's about wider social unfairness.

I really have no desire or ability to resit Maths in any way shape or form.

I hope I can ensure things are different if/when I have DCs, but I know for a fact that KS2 children can do Maths that is considerably beyond my comprehension.

It is unfortunate people have read that as a negative; as me tantrumming even - I'm not.

The thread wasn't about me. I didn't want to talk about me or about my "stupidity". I have used that word deliberately as I hoped people might realise it's actually quite a hard thing to do - to explain to people that while you have numerous qualities, you aren't academic - it isn't a "nice" thing to have to say about oneself, it's quite unpleasant for me too actually!

As someone said, sometimes I work 10 hours a day and get paid for 5. That's all, really.

Could people please stop telling me to go back to college, though?

1. I can't afford it. I can't take the time off work it would need and I can't fit it into my working day.

1. It would be a silly thing to do as it would lead to nothing as I wouldn't be able to pass, and

1. I don't want to. Really have no desire whatsoever to go.

Now no 3 seems to have led people to be saying oh, well, it's your own fault then and I disagree, I think that I should be able to live in relative comfort through working full time.

sooty, it's just rather wearing to keep having suggestions (which is how I think they're meant, not as 'solution finding or fixing) thrown back in one's face. And I don't think she's 'realistic' –I do think she sounds down on herself.

As for her specifically not wanting suggestions or 'positive strokes', well, threads develop. If you were having the same conversation face to face I don't think all or both parties would just stick rigidly to the initial subject without adding to it. That's just what people are doing here.

goldfish, I'm not sure people are 'cross' that she's a carer. People are expressing sympathy and empathy about the wages and conditions carers put up with. People are also saying that one way to earn more, which the OP expressed a desire to do, is to gain more experience and/or qualifications. Again, it's quite hard to keep a conversation on one narrow track and conversations about work and prospects are fairly likely to develop along these lines.

margerybruce if you'd RTFT you'd have realised that the OP says they've had 1:1 interventions in maths and drill couldn't cope. And given her working hours I don't know how people expect her to have time for college even if she wanted to go and even if that was what the thread is about

But OnlyLovers she didn't ask for suggestions at any point so is quite at liberty to reject them. If those who offered what wasn't asked for then find that rejection wearing that is their issue.

Only - but I didn't want suggestions! If you don't want them "thrown back in your face" (which I didn't, by the way, just explained that going to college is not for me at this time) don't make them.

By the same token it gets "wearing" constantly having to say that I can't follow some of the advice.

My mum just about bankrupted herself paying for a private tutor in maths for me from being eight years old and believe me she struggled, really struggled, to do that for me, and I was still considerably behind my peers. Maybe it is discalcula, but whatever it is, I obviously didn't choose it. I feel absolutely awful that my mum went without stuff to help me and I still couldn't but I really couldn't.

But honestly do you think I am alone? Or do you think that the kids who don't get a GCSE in maths or English were all just not disciplined enough, or didn't have supportive enough homes or whatever?

I don't have any parents, and I have to LIVE. I can't just not do anything else, while I do my exams, and i'd need to put a lot of work in.

God I don't even know why I'm bothering, I didn't didn't DIDN'T start this thread about my admittedly many inadequacies!

And OF COURSE I'm down on myself! But doing a job WELL helps me feel GOOD - failing DOESN'T!

I really feel for you sweet. You work very hard to care for vulnerable people and are not paid for all that you do. I do agency work as a Teaching Assistant and am living with family as I cannot afford to rent (I'm in my late twenties).
It's so frustrating.

You sound a cracking woman and although it is a small comfort, I'm sure that those you care for are grateful for what you do and appreciate you.

Society would struggle without good carers and you sound like a great one.

Of course there are some people on Mumsnet who understand how hard things are for the working poor.

But there tend to be overarching trends on Mumsnet and I have always found that to be one.

Benefits claimant = poor downtrodden victim who deserves sympathy and help
Working poor = authors of their own misfortune and beneath contempt

I think a hell of a lot of it stems from the fact that a large proportion of Mumsnetters have always been comfortably off and have no real idea of what it's like to be either working poor or on benefits. In an awful lot of cases now the working poor are worse off than benefits claimants which is illustrated by the fact their children are much more likely to live in poverty.

The reaction to benefits cuts on here is loud and militant.

Response to the working poor is muted and unenthusiastic with no real solutions or action proposed. Despite the fact that of the two groups the working poor are often the worst off. Particularly when you factor in high housing costs.

honestly do you think I am alone? No.

Or do you think that the kids who don't get a GCSE in maths or English were all just not disciplined enough, or didn't have supportive enough homes or whatever? Um, no. And nowhere have I said or implied that. I'm not sure ANYONE'S said that, in fact.

And you are the one saying most strenuously that you have 'many inadequacies'.

In my very first post I acknowledged and supported your position as someone who works hard and is underpaid.

But anyway, I'll be off now. I wish you all the best.

Except to say:

'But there tend to be overarching trends on Mumsnet and I have always found that to be one.

Benefits claimant = poor downtrodden victim who deserves sympathy and help
Working poor = authors of their own misfortune and beneath contempt'

Moan, in years of reading MN I find your statement to be (generally speaking, if we're talking about overarching trends) utterly without foundation.

That's really interesting Moan

I am surprised if I am honest at how many people have seen me having little money as being my own fault. Especially given I know I do a very valuable job and do it well.

Only - you just don't know.

I have many inadequacies yes, like the next person. Most of them in academics and also in a tendency to be a bit lazy: obviously at school the one didn't help the other! So yes if you look at me purely from that angle I am inadequate.

I'm also more conventionally attractive than many women.

I am articulate.

I'm a brilliant carer.

I have a great sense of humour and fun.

But as none of that's really relevant to the thread I haven't mentioned it.

So I'm not "putting myself down" (why do you not like hearing that someone isn't academically clever?) I'm being, as someone has already said, realistic.

Even if - and it isn't really an if, even - but let's just say I could pass GCSEs, I couldn't. Not without leaving my job and then, you know, I just couldn't live.

There's your answer up there^ op get a different job... I mean, it is not like there has been a recession or anything lately that makes jobs hard to come by.

It is shit. life is not easy and there are often no simple fixes.

Sweet, Yes YNBU as you are working full time hours, doing a very important job and bringing home nowhere near enough money to have a decent standard of living. The conservatives tell us this is precisely why they are reforming (cutting) benefits to ensure that in the future people who are working will not be poorer than those receiving benefits. I think they seriously need to stop these business and shareholders raking it in at your expense. Even if minimum wage was increased you would still be out of pocket due to not receiving pay for a full days work. In your position I would write to your MP and our Prime Minister, telling them how much you earn and how many hours you work and what your duties involve. I would then ask them if they consider this acceptable in 2015. They have no clue how life for many many decent hard working people is in this country. It's not just care workers either lots and lots on zero contract hours now and expected to support their families not knowing what they are going to earn from month to month. Someone mentioned Unions and yes to joining one if you can.

I agree with you OP, it is shit that you do a vital job, and can barely afford to live off it. Why should you have to re train as a nurse? ( which by the way is a bit like saying you should re train as a teacher- daft unless it's a job you really want to do.)
I also think single people with no kids have a rough time, and yes, are forgotten about by the media and the government.
I also agree with MoreBeta wrt wages. Are you getting more left wing with age Beta ?

Only so this thread is an aberration then?

I also find the sam true of the left wing in general. They like to make noises about things like benefit claimants to make them feel that they are 'good' and have the right credentials.

But if you start talking about paying the low paid a living wage or making housing more affordable they suddenly start worrying they won't be able to afford a cleaner or a gardener or a nanny any more and their house might lose value and they suddenly go quiet.

Truth is it's much more convenient for them to keep the working poor exactly where they want them.

As someone who works, and sometimes teaches in, higher ed I think that some of the people who seem to think that more qualifications = better job and prospects are being a bit naive.

I've seen students with Firsts struggle to get a job that earns a living wage - not just temporarily, but for years and years. The problem is that too many employers pay as little as they can get away with in order to maximise their profits. We have a government that promotes this behaviour and does nothing for the working poor. Despite low inflation and interest rates, food, fuel, energy costs are all rising faster than wages (ok petrol is going down at the moment, but that won't last) so the little money that people are getting is going less far than before. Hence why more and more people are needing foodbanks, diseases like rickets and scurvy are coming back and people are having to choose between food and getting to work.

In many places in the UK there are still a lack of opportunities and jobs. Not everyone can actually afford to move away to take a better paid job with better prospects.

All the degrees in the world are not going to change these fundamental facts.

Sorry for trying to be helpful!

As I said - Functional Skills maths is about people like the OP. I know because I teach it.

I am not TELLING her to go and do it - I am suggesting that it exists and that she would be a prime candidate for it.

Private tutoring in maths and Functional Skills are a different as chalk and cheese. Again I know this as i do both.

I know all about working for a pittance - I have done it for more years than most of you have been alive probably - and yes - the maths basic qualification is an open door to better things. I think the wages a lot of people work for are a disgrace, but there can be a way out of you want to/can take it.

The way carers are treated is dreadful, but then the way many working people in the country are treated is terrible.

The government deight in setting groups against each other on purpose, when actually the groups who are disadvantaged would be more powerful working together. No idea how this would be achieved though.
And what gloria said.