To be getting this stressed over losing weight?

[SlicedAndDiced]

I feel a bit of backstory is in order here so as not to drip feed.

I've had 7 miscarriages. I have a bicornulate uterus with a septum that isn't worth operating on apparently. My sixth loss, in August this year, was particularly awful (premature labour and pph after losing our son just a few weeks under being classed as a stillbirth, and having to cope with him being referred to as a miscarriage)

Now I was a bigger woman at the time (5ft7 16stone) and ever since August I have absolutely hated myself. I've never told anyone what I overheard a nurse say but it's been whirling around in my head constantly ever since.

I went to the ward toilet. I had one in my room but it wasn't flushing properly. And I overheard two of the nurses talking about me. One said she felt sorry for the couple (us) having so many miscarriages. And the other said 'it would probably help if she wasn't such a big girl'

I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I went back in to the room with my partner but didn't say a word. I felt/ feel so ashamed of myself, I can't get it out of my head that if I wasn't such a pig my babies might have lived.

For months I tried to skip meals, I lost a few pounds but still was eating unhealthily. The last straw was when I had my seventh miscarriage in December. I joined slimming world a few days before Christmas.

It's great, I feel healthy and I'm certainly eating better. I even exercise now! The first week I lost 7 pounds and the second week I lost 6 pounds. I was starting not to hate myself and feel happy again.

This week I've only lost one.

All the feelings have come rushing back. I feel like a failure, sick. I'm not stupid, I know it can't be half a stone a week realistically. It's making me want to skip meals/ days again and I know that's not right. So why do I feel like this?

I can't add anything helpful, but please don't be so hard on yourself. I lost 8+ stone,got to my goal weight and then had a miscarriage. I've been that obsessive weigher, checking constantly, crying when I didn't lose that week. Christmas 2013 I stayed on plan while I was away, went to the gym at the holiday complex 4x and gained 3.5lb. I was hysterical. The thing is 1lb a week loss is a good result, slow and steady makes it sustainable. Agree that its probably a way of finding control where you've had none before. Please be kind to yourself.

That's really good weight loss OP. well done. It is really hard. I have 4-5 stones to loose and am eating healthily and have a personal trainer once a week and go to the gym for excersises to tone me up.
Don't know what your area is like but there are no counselling services for GPs to refer to so you might have to look on the charity websites to see if there are any that can help. Not sure what stage you lost your babies but could SANDS be of help to you.

Just to add my sympathy and to say that my GP refused to put me on anti-ds because I was thinking (just thinking) about ttc. If you don't want antidepressants and are ttc, it's ridiculous that he won't help you with a counselling referral. Please try to see a different doctor.

On the nurse's comment. It was a stupid throwaway comment. Fat is being blamed for everything in the health service at the moment so IMHO health care providers can't see past it sometimes.

Best of luck with your weightless and your ttc. You are doing really well, but you MUST understand that your miscarriages/stillbirths are NOT YOUR FAULT.

the first few weeks at sw are usually abnormal losses as your body is getting used to all the great food you're eating (and all the rubbish you're not!)

every week you walk through the doors and weigh in you are taking control and having a huge success no matter what it says on the scales!

sometimes you will loose even though you had a sneaky biscuit that you forgot to syn and sometimes you will maintain or gain even though you have been perfect. but you are already a stone closer to target (whatever that is!) than you were when you started.

do you stay to group? it can be a bit twee, but is really helpful (also it puts your 1lb into perspective when you hear about other people's weeks)

I've just remembered the second time I joined SW...I gained 6 lbs in the first week

A standard common red ode brick weighs five pounds.

If you have a garden or outdoor space, buy a hose brick for each five pounds of fat you lose.

Pile those bricks.

Take photographs.

Then get two Ikea ages or similar ad place equal amounts of house bricks in each bag.

Carry them on your back, see how far you get.

This is my plan.

I'm so sorry you have experienced miscarriage.

x

house not ode

Not read all the thread but OP firstly the nurse was wrong. It's nothing to do with your weight. And I am so sorry for your losses.

Secondly you have lost a Stone in 3 weeks! That's AWESOME! I was the same as you last year, 16st joined SW now I am just over 12 after a big xmas gain. Take it steady, it's easier to manage, you don't get fed up and you will feel much better in no time! Good luck!

I was a size 6 (well, everywhere but my middle if that makes sense!) when I had 2 MCs. It might effect your general health being overweight, but it's not the reason yo'uve lost the babies.

speak to a different GP if you can. Ask for help, explain you think Anti-Ds will just mask the problem, and unless they are suggesting you take them for the rest of your life, you'll need to deal with your problems at some point.

Oh and you always lose a lot at the start of a diet, losing a pound doesn't sound as impressive, but it's a pound that's not "easy" weight to lose, this is the weight that you are going to have to work to shift. So well done you.

OP I'm so sorry to hear what a tough time you and your partner have been having. It is no surprise to me that your poor battered mind has fixed on your weight as a 'reason' - I know from experience how these ideas can seize you irrespective of any rational reality, especially when you are tired and stressed.

Your GPs attitude is very odd, especially as you are ttc. He may know there is a long wait and he may believe in the drugs but . Fwiw I invested in about 6 weeks of private counselling which included cbt - v helpful with intrusive distressing beliefs and I still use it so look at it as learning a new skill! I was on the tablets too as I was unable to function at work, and they did help, but I think like many, found I put on weight - whatever the GP told me. And some people find them hard to stop taking, too.

Regular exercise I found helpful for my state of mind too. When really distressed, I find sprinting overrides the pain somehow. I think it kind of uses up the adrenaline or something.

for you, and your dp. Don't be hard on yourself, anyone going through all that would surely need a lot of support. I have got in a right old state over far, far less.

Only a lb? Only? Do you know what that is? Perfect is what it is.

You can only lose 1-2lbs of fat a week. Early big losses and the losses associated with extreme diets are not fat losses, it's water and lean tissue. Once you stabilise into a steady 1-2lbs a week, you are efficiently losing fat. And as pictured, quite a bit of fat really.

You are not who that nurse said you are. Your awful experiences were not your fault. I hope that you get some dedicated counselling soon. Your gp and that nurse are insensitive wazzocks. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Thank you everyone.

I'm booked in to see a different gp on Friday so will see how that goes. I'm quite surprised as he has been pushing those anti d's on me at nearly every visit, and he knows I'm ttc. I didn't realise I wasn't supposed to have them.

My slimming world consultant has been lovely too. Fingers crossed I learn to love the one pound losses

I'll get a neat stack of butter and house bricks going.